Letters. Everyone writes them, and they're not just for ponies. Be they carriers of serious news, friendly correspondence between pen pals, or declarations of heart and heartbreak, each one is written with a clear purpose or goal in mind.

Celestia uses them to try and keep her faithful student and friends in line, and try to keep an unbalanced world on the straight and narrow.

This is much harder than it sounds.

Now with an audio reading by Lady Tenkage!

Side Stories:

Old-Fashioned Bar Hoppers, featuring Celestia, Mayor Mare, and Granny Smith shenanigans.
Journal of an Adolescent Clone, featuring Sunny and Moony shenanigans since Season 5.

Being the mayor of Ponyville is not easy, not when you have the Elements of Harmony and the Cuite Mark Crusaders always causing trouble. Mayor Mare has a solution however, a Bachelor auction and Big Mac is the star of her little show. Follow Mac as he goes through his own personal hell, while the other stallions seem to be enjoying themselves!

Stallions on the Block: Big Mac, Soarin, Braeburn, Bulk Biceps, Prince Blueblood, Flash Sentry, Caramel, Thunderlane, Dr. Whooves/Time Turner, and Spike! Also two new ponies that you might be able to recognize.

Written by: Captain Unstoppable
Jake the Army Guy
Featured Story?! Thank you all!

Update: Since all of you have been debating the age, Jake and I have decided that the ages are as followed. Main Six are in their early twenties. CMC/Spike pre-teens 10-12. Mac mid twenties.

Thank you as always to jszellmer for the edits.

Thank you to KarmaDash for the idea bouncing along with Shrapmo as well.

Finally thank you mcwhale4 for the great cover art!

Also, here is what Auction has been like for Jake and Cap
Enjoy!

There are consequences to every action, but we can't always predict what they will be. I stay up at night wondering what I could have done differently, but I've already paid the price for my actions. All I can do now is deal with the consequences, and I've got several great friends to help me do it.

Edited by: Neko Majin C, 314, Kleora, Dash The Stampede

Pinkie doesn't tell ponies about Pinkamena and Surprise. The doctors said that they were bad for her, that they were a disease, but she disagrees. Sure, Pinkamena's a bit of a grumpy-pants, but she's still a great friend! She's often the voice of reason to counter-act some of the other two's crazier ideas, after all. Surprise, on the other hand, is a great prank-player, and always up for some fun. She's more like Pinkie, only more hyper. Both are great fun to be around, and they get on well.

Thing is, she knows that if she told ponies about them, then they would be dragged back to the hospital. And then be 'treated' again. None of them want that. Because of this, not even her best not-in-head friends know about them. The three of them have, for years now, been careful enough to keep the existence of Pinkamena and Surprise secret.

This has, of course, gone out the window now that Twilight is hammering on the door after overhearing one third of a conversation, with no sign of anyone else talking.

Hints of F/F shipping inside. Nothing will actually come of it here, though. Maybe in a future story.

Cover art can be found here: http://killryde.deviantart.com/art/Smile-338206490

Diplomacy has failed. Six years have passed Equestria's crowning of the princess of friendship, ushering in a supposed unprecedented age of peace and harmony. The concept of warfare is, to most ponies, nothing more than an unfathomable legend. They have let their guard down.

An unknown enemy has seized the opportunity to attack Equestria with terrifying new weapons of war, bent on taking the fertile land and restoring an ancient order. The valiant efforts of the Royal Guard have given Princess Twilight and her arcane scientists time to research and develop a response to their attackers, and the time has come for that response to be implemented. Utilizing weapons and tactics borrowed from another world, five squads under the command of Princess Luna will infiltrate the forests of the Equestrian Northwest to destroy a revolutionary magical matrix that Twilight refers to as the "radio" - a tool that allows enemy ponies to communicate across vast distances instantly.

Nightmare Two is comprised of three foalhood friends who, rather than be separated from each other in the draft, volunteer to become one of the five Nightmare squads. With their bodies forever altered to suit the needs of their mission, the three young mares join legions of ponies armed with powerful weapons to partake in a horrifying new breed of warfare - Equestria's first in over one thousand years.

--

Heads up, folks. If you wouldn't mind leaving a comment alongside the thumbs-down, I'd appreciate it. This is my first foray into fan fiction and although it's a hobby I nonetheless wish to get better. :)

Got some FAQ's for you guys as well!

- Alternate universe in which the events of "Crusaders of the Lost Mark" did not occur. (As much as I loved it! :D)

- Numerical age tends to vary with headcanon, but the CMC here were just getting started with their adult lives when the draft went into effect.

- The war is pony v. pony, utilizing firearms and the Equestrian equivalent of a tank. The underlying headcanon is that ponies used firearms similar to muskets and tracked armored vehicles akin to our tanks in times of old, and what the enemy currently employs is essentially the natural progression of these technologies.

- There are no real-world weapons or equipment i.e. "Panzer IV," or "M16 assault rifle." Particularly acute details such as the caliber of weapons are also absent.

- Technology is based on that of WWI with some WWII elements. Firearms are primarily bolt-action.

- The "radio" spell matrix functions as what we know to be a radio, but is not identical.

- All four of a Night Mare's legs are permanently replaced by the augments.

- Night Mares are female. Stallions proved unable to properly animate the limbs.

--

Hold up, now - fanart? You guys rock. Like, for real. Thanks a lot!

1. A great YouTube video coming from The_Pegasus_Box. Thanks, bud!
Check it out!

2. Click here for the collection on DArt.

3. https://derpibooru.org/740375?scope=scpeac921b191f688d04521575f31608785cbc3bbaa1
[img]https://derpicdn.net/img/view/2014/10/10/740375__safe_anthro_apple+bloom_gun_artist-colon-pusspuss_night+mares.png[/img]

Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's most prized and faithful student, is being sent to Ponyville to learn about the magic of friendship.

This is going to be fun!

A spinoff of Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student by milesprower06.