//------------------------------//
// Chapter 4: Let's Meet Our Stallions!  
// Story: Ponyville Bachelor Auction 
// by Captain Unstoppable 
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Chapter 4: Let’s Meet Those Stallions 

“Hello, all you lovely mares out there!” Mr. Cake shouted to the large crowd of ponies that had gathered for the event. “Are you ready to see the stallions that you could bid and win tonight?!”

The crowd erupted into cheers of stomping hooves and wolf-whistles. Mr. Cake was standing on the far left of the stage. The stage itself was very large, having the ability to hold what looked up to twenty fully grown stallions on it with room to spare. There was a large arch behind it, with two wings on either side for the stallions to enter one way and exit the other. Red velvet curtains were pinned on both sides, as the lighting coming from above gave the stage a soft glow. 

Behind the stage,  the sun was slowly setting as the stars started to twinkle in the sky. The idea was to hold the auction at night, so those who won their stallion did not have to wait too long to go on a romantic date with their prize. The night air was cool, and clear of any clouds that might cause a sudden rain storm during the auction the mares of the town had been looking forward to for the last month. 

Mr. Cake waited a few moments for them all to calm down before clearing his throat. “Well, as you all know we have three events planned for these stallions before you are to start your bidding. So without further delay, lets get this show on the road!” Once again the crowd broke into cheers, mostly those of mares who were ready to win a date with one of the stallions, but most of all the big red apple they would all love to take a bite out of. 

Back stage, every stallion was getting ready for their moment in the spotlight. Braeburn was trotting in place, brimming with excited energy; this was his one big chance to show every mare out there that there was more than one good Apple stallion on the market. After him was Spike, who Mac was still trying to understand why Twilight would even allow him to enter this horrible event. Mac looked up and down the line of stallions that were to go before him and saw that each one looked eager to go. 

“Our first bachelor tonight,” came Mr. Cake’s voice from onstage. Mac took a deep breath; it was time for the torture to begin. “Describes himself as ‘A cowpony without comparison. As strong, confident, honest, and good looking as his cousin and maybe more.’ Let me introduce to you all Braeburn Apple!” 

“That’s ma cue!” Braeburn laughed, and soon he had trotted on stage. The cry of the mares was almost deafening. From whistling, claps, and screams promising to do things to Braeburn that Mac could only shudder at, it seemed that the whole town had fallen for Braeburn right off the bat. The cheers kept coming for what seemed about a good few minutes before Mr. Cake finally cut in with his microphone. 

“Now, there are still more stallions back there, Braeburn if you would just...stop strutting! You're done Braeburn get to the other side of the stage! No! Get over there before I disqualify you!” Mac could hear his cousin laughing as the mares started to boo at Mr. Cake. Whatever Braeburn was doing the mares seemed to have enjoyed.

After what seemed like an eternity, the cheers finally died down and Mr. Cake was allowed to speak again. “Our next contestant is a bit younger, so perfect for all you fillies out there,” Cake laughed as Spike just gave a groan. Mac chuckled slightly at this; he knew that the young dragon had his heart set on Rarity, but it was hard to imagine that the mare would bid on Spike. 

“Describing himself as a...really?” There was a short pause as Mr. Cake seemed to re-read the short statement that was written by Spike before giving out a loud sigh. “‘A cyclone of love that any mare would be lucky to enjoy,’ Spike the Dragon.” Mr. Cake said it in such a dry tone that Mac had to keep himself from laughing out loud along with several other stallions. All except Blue Blood, who laughed as loud as he could, he was quickly quieted when Tweak came up behind him and gave him the stink-eye of the century. 
Spike took no notice of this, as he ran onto the stage into what he thought would be a wave of cheers like Braeburn had gotten. Instead, Sike just got a round of clapping that seemed to be just for pity instead of finding him attractive or worth bidding on. That was until a voice rose over the crowd of clapping. 

“I love you Spike!” came the shout of Sweetie Belle. Mac had heard from AJ that the young filly had saved up bits since she had heard that Spike was going to be available. There was a chorus of ‘Awws’ emanating from the crowd now, and Mac could only imagine how red in the face that dragon was becoming. 

“Sh-shut up!” Spike spluttered out, Mac felt sorry for the dragon, but was more sorry he couldn't see what was going on. As horrible as it sounded, he was glad there was now somepony else that might hate this night as much as me. 

“Sweetie Belle and Spike sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Came the singing of Scootaloo and Applebloom. Now, Mac couldn't help but to start laughing along with what seemed to be every other stallion in the back. How sorry he felt for Spike, but this was just too cute to hear to imagine how mortified Spike was. “First comes love! Then comes marriage! Then Spike with a foal carriage!” 

“Shut up!” bellowed Spike, as more laughter erupted from the crowd. For as long as the cheers and cat-calls went on for Braeburn did the laughter go on for Spike. Finally, when it felt like his lungs were going to give from laughing too much, Mac heard Mr. Cake trying to calm the situation through his own laughter. 

“Now, now Spike. It’s not nice to shout at the bidders. And at any rate,” he said, shooting the dragon a sly grin, “that’s no way to speak to your marefriend, now is it?”

“H-hey! She’s not my—”

 “Now if you will take your spot over there with Braeburn. Our next bachelor for auction is a stallion of few words. No, it’s not Big Mac,” Mr. Cake said as a few mares gave grunts of disappointment. “But don’t let that fool any of you. He describes himself as ‘A stallion that loves to take moonlight walks around town. A lover of poetry of almost every kind, seeks to find a mare that would take him as is’...Bulk Biceps!” The large white pegasus trotted on to the stage to complete silence. Even Mac was finding it hard to believe it all himself. 

Bulk likes poetry? Heck! Bulk knows how to write and read? Mac peered out from behind the curtain, trying to look around the other stallion who could see on stage. His vision was blocked by manes of different colors, all trying to get a look at Bulk after the sudden confession of the muscular Pegasus. Silence was still reigning over everything till finally the silence was broken only a way Bulk could break silence. 

“YEAH!!!” The bulky Pegasus shouted, and at once the entire crowd erupted once again in cheers and applause.

“Well, it looks like this little auction is going to be full of surprises and twists,” Mr. Cake said over the microphone. “The next lovely stallion for all of you to bid on is sure to be a hefty price. ‘Second in command of the Wonderbolts, a sucker for a homemade apple pie, and just a fun loving pony’, I give you Soarin Nimbus!” Another roar of cheers came from the crowd as Soarin entered on stage. As Soarin enjoyed his few seconds of fame before the next stallion, two thought started to enter Mac’s mind. 

Sucker for homemade apple pie? Mac repeated in his mind again and again. He could not understand why Soarin would write that on his description. It didn’t make him seem any more attractive to him at least. In fact, it seemed to be narrowing the field down to only a few mares, one of those mares being his sister. Waves of emotions were sent through Mac as he thought about this little stunt the blue Pegasus had played. 

Anger; seeing that Soarin had not even told Mac what he was up to, or even Braeburn. Mac would be the first to admit that he had no right in saying who his sister dates, but still it felt like a hoof to the face to not even be clued in on what he was up to. 
On the other hoof, Mac felt a swell of pride growing in his stomach. This stallion, even at an auction where any mare could bid on him, had made it known that his eyes were only on one pony, and even if she doesn’t win the bid on him, he didn’t want anypony else. Then there was the fact he liked apple pie; any stallion that likes apples was a good apple in his book. With that in mind, Mac turned his attention back to Mr. Cake, who was once again having trouble keeping the mares under control. 

“Please, we still have many more stallions left! We are not even half way through!” Mr. Cake bellowed as the cheers started to die down. “Okay, next up, we have a stallion who has described himself as…” once more there was a long pause as Mac could only assume Mr. Cake was reading the card. “Before I read this, I would just like to point out I had no authority over what these stallions wrote down,” Cake said with a groan as he took a deep breath. 

“The most handsome and beautiful prince in all of Equestria. Any mare that gazes upon his royal visage should be grateful to Celestia and Luna for allow a creature as gorgeous as I to grace your backwoods hick town tonight…Prince Blueblood,” Blueblood instantly jumped on stage from the back. Mac could only imagine the Prince strutting across stage like he owned the place.  He was, however, greetedby a series of boos and the sound of a few things hitting the stage. 

“Yo-you animals! I am royalty! I should not be treated in this manner! Don’t you know who my aunts are! This is a-Ow!” Mac could not help but lean close to the curtain just to see what had happen. Rolling a bit off stage was a bright red apple and Blueblood rubbing his forehead, a tear falling down his cheek. “Who threw that! I demand to know who-Ow!” Once again an apple hit Blueblood right in the forehead. 

Curiosity got the better of Mac, who leaned out just a bit more to see who had thrown the apple. Out in the crowd,  he could already recognize the group of his sister’s friends by the rainbow mane of Rainbow Dash. Sitting next to her was Applejack, who was handing another apple to Rarity who started to levitate it, ready to send another apple flying.

“If you all keep booing  and throwing apples we’ll never get through the intros! Now Blueblood, take your place over there and wipe those tears off your face!” Cake shouted as Mac quickly pulled his head back thankful that nopony saw him. 

“Now put your hooves together for our next stallion, who has described himself as ‘Future Wonderbolt in the making, a older brother who loves to play with his little brother and friends, and that nice guy that is always there’ Thunderlane!”

“Well, here goes everything,” Thunderlane said as he took a few steps forward before placing a rose in his mouth and turning towards the other stallions and giving them a wink. 

“The mares are out there, genius,” Shock said with a groan. Mac shot him a look that was instantly greeted by Shock taking a large step away from the big red pony and towards Flash instead. 

Thunderlane just shrugged as he spread his wings apart and took a running start from off stage before giving his wings a large flap and shooting himself into the air. Mac could only see him bank to the right and flying off stage. He assumed that Thunderlane was going for effect as he saw from where he was standing mares turning around following his movements in the sky. From what he could see of the mares, Thunderlane must have been doing loops of some kind and other tricks. Finally he came back to the stage to land, but at the last second, he tripped over his own hooves and fell, going head first into the stage and showing his flank to the audience. 

A mixture of cheers, laughs, and whistles emanated from the crowd as Thunderlane tried to right himself. Mac could only shake his head and smile; any stallion who could stay on stage after a crash like that. 

“You can show your flank during the swimsuit competition, Thunderlane,” Mr. Cake laughed as he tried to keep the mares under control, a job seeming to require the use of  Royal Guards. “Now keep on moving over towards the others, and can somepony get Blueblood a handkerchief?” Cake said with a sigh, apparently the prince had not stopped crying yet. As the laughs and cheers started to die down once more, Cake began to speak. 

“Up next, is a stallion not from around these parts, but came from Canterlot for this special event! ‘A career soldier in the Equestrian Royal Guard. A hopeless romantic who loves music, laughing, and... er, smokin joe,’ whatever that means. Ladies, say hello to Tweak!” Mr. Cake shouted and at once the white pony walked on stage.

Tweak strode confidently to the center of the stage to the sound of mostly polite applause and a few errant whistles. He took off his plumed helmet and placed it on the ground, smiling out at the crowd. Mac perked an ear as the stallion opened his mouth, curious as to how the gruff, foul-mouthed soldier would fare.

“Good evening to all you lovely ladies here in Ponyville,” Tweak said, his voice surprisingly suave tone. “It’s an honor to be here tonight. You have a beautiful town, though it pales in comparison to the beautiful mares I see tonight.” A wave of tittering laughter came from the crowd, and Tweak seemed to drink it in, his chest puffing out ever so slightly. “I look forward to taking one of you lucky ladies on a date, though as I look around, I think that I will end up being the lucky one.” He finished with a playful smirk and a wink, and earned a round of raucous applause and cheers from the charmed mares in the audience.

Mac’s jaw dropped; this was not the same pony who spewed such obscenities before, was it?

“It appears our friendly Royal Guardspony made quite an impression,” Mr. Cake said, once more center stage. “Well, you’re in luck, ladies, because we have yet another elite Guard on loan from Canterlot. ‘A shy, good-natured colt who loves to read, play guitar, and just wants a nice filly to call his own,’ please give a warm Ponyville welcome to Flash Sentry!”

In stark contrast to Tweak’s confident entrance, Flash seemed to tip-toe on stage, a light sheen of sweat already on his brow under the harsh lights and even harsher appraising gazes of the crowd. A few random cries of “d’aww” could be heard as he smiled nervously, instantly melting a few hearts with his coltish looks. “Uh... h-hi,” he said. “Well, I’m Flash, and, uh... it’s nice to be here.”

His eyes continued to flicker nervously across the crowd, until he apparently saw something that made his ears perk up and his tail to give an eager flick behind him. Mac leaned out as far as he dared from behind the curtain, knowing that if he showed his face too much, the crowd would explode and drown poor Flash out. Mac looked to where Flash was now showing a warm grin, and...

Well, slap mah flank an’ call me a mule. The shy, young colt was beaming right at none other than Princess Twilight Sparkle. Tweak must have been telling the truth when he said the young pegasus was keen on Twilight, and from what Mac could see, it may not have been a one-way street. The princesses wings were flared ever so slightly, and even at this distance, Mac could see the warm blush on her cheeks.

Mac had just enough time to notice this when a wall of white fur blocked his view of Twilight. Blinking, Mac saw Shining Armor glaring death at Flash. It was a look that Mac knew all too well, having given it to a few stallions over the years: Hooves off my baby sister.

Apparently, Flash noticed it, too. The pegasus’ wings gave a tiny flap, and he darted off stage, nearly bowling over Mr. Cake as he stood by the other stallions on stage.

“Uh... oooo-kay then,” Mr. Cake said, straightening his bow tie. “Next we have a stallion from Stalliongrad who has said he is ‘A former member of the 101st Special Forces of the Royal Guard who is as powerful as a platoon of soldiers, but really wants to find a mare that will wrap him their forelegs and let him be the softie he is who loves a good romance story.’ I present Shock n’ Awe!” Mac watched the blue pony walk halfway on stage before coming to a halt stand there as still as a statue. His right eye was twitching a bit, giving him a deranged look. 

“What the buck?! I didn’t write that! I wrote how I once killed a minotaur with my bare hoo…” Shock was interrupted by a snigger of laughter from left stage, a laugh that Mac has come to recognize as Tweak’s. Shock glared at the giggling earth pony. “You bloody son of a mule! When I get my hooves on you!” 

“Break it up you two!” Cake shouted loudly, as a scuffle could be heard on stage. The sound of more hooves were heard, seeming that more stallions had gotten mixed up between the fight of the military ponies. As the fighting continued, Mac felt that he needed to get involved as well; as much as he disliked this event, he knew deep down that it was for the good of the town, school, and if those two murdered one another there would be a lot of minds scarred for life. 

Before Mac acted however, there was a large crack, a sound normally made by a powerful spell of some kind. At once the sound of scuffling hooves and cries died almost instantly. Silence fell over everything, not even the crowd made a noise at the sudden crack. Mac, Caramel, and Time Turner all looked at one another, trying to figure out between the three of them who might have caused the blast of power. 

“Um...tha-thank you, Shining Armor,” Mr. Cake said, his voice cracking slightly out of fear. Clearing his voice, while trying to regain his composure, Mr. Cake started to introduce the next stallion. “Ou-our next stallion is a local pony that many of you will recognize. Describing himself as ‘The average stallion; he just simply wants to find a mare that finds him nice enough to actually pay for a date with him. Raised to respect mares and value work’ I give you Caramel Apple!” Mr. Cake shouted. 

Caramel walked out to a mixed greeting, some of the mares thinking that the card was describing Mac instead of Caramel. A large amount seemed to still be applauding and cheering for the timid stallion as he walked out. Mac watched from off stage as his friend walked out, obviously taken back by the welcome and seemed almost wanting to turn and run back off stage. But looking back at Mac, he gave a nod and walked forward his head raised and looking like a million bits.

“Dibs! I call dibs!” a pony shouted out from the crowd. Caramel turned towards the crowd at once, looking around for the mysterious mare that was already calling for him. The mare in question was soon muffled however for only soft screams could be heard as other mares tried to silence her. Either hiding her outburst, as Mac hoped, or because they wanted to speed up his part like he dreaded. Cake just laughed, however, as Caramel took his place by the others.

“We seem to have quite the show going; some of you already know your marks and I wish the best of luck to you!” Cake said, still laughing as he did so. As he did, Time Turner and Mac looked at one another, the last two stallions to go. 
“Good luck out there partner,” Mac said, raising his hoof for Time Turner. 

“Th-thanks Mac, you to,” the brown stallion laughed, bumping hooves with Mac as Cake’s voice echoed over the crowd again. 
“Our next stallion has a doctorate in theoretical physics, Thaumatic Field Theory, and a lot of other things I don’t know how to say, Time Turner! Or as we all like to call him, Dr. Whooves!” The crowd started to cheer for the new stallion with an almost deafening ring. 

Time Turner had a blush covering his face now, he looked a bit embarrassed as the cheers became louder. “Maybe I shouldn't have written all of that down…” he said nervously. “And why does everypony call me Dr. Whooves? I just don’t understand it,” he sighed before walking out on stage to even greater cheers. Mac watched as he gave a weak wave on stage before moving out of sight, where Mac assumed where all the other stallions were standing, showing off still to increase the amount of bits they will go for. 

Mac took a deep breath as he looked around the now empty changing room. Feeling his stomach fill with butterflies as sweat started to roll down his face. He was as nervous as a cat in a rocking chair factory. He could barely hear what Mr. Cake was reading off his card as the crowd began to become louder and louder. He was up to face the wolves. With a deep breath Mac took one shaking step on stage and let the bright light wash over as well as fear, dread, and embarrassment.