Responses To A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by keaton-furman-prower

Tanks For The Memories

Original letter here.

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Dear Rainbow Dash:

You did pretty well for your first time trying to sabotage an entire season. Do you mind if I join you next time? I could teach you some of my favorite tricks!

Sincerely, The Grinch.

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Dear Tank:

At least your master loves you. Mine just drags me around while bitching about how much he hates the whos and their Christmas carols and whatnot.

Sincerely, Max.

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Dear Twilight Sparkle:

Tell those stupid inbred ponies to get their act together. A town that shifts its seasons whenever they want to is not a town that will be seen positively by the general populace.

…Or don’t. Canterlot will look good in comparison if you keep screwing up.

Sincerely, Princess Celestia.

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Dear Dad:

You dumped me at an orphanage so you could become a pro hockey player?!

…I really hate you right now.

Your eternally-resentful daughter, Scootaloo.

P.S.: I hope you enjoy your father’s day present. It’s a box full of twittermites trained to attack anything that smells like you.

Author's Note:

I originally planned to write an entire parody of the Grinch's song, but I couldn't come up with anything good.

Secondly, sorry for the lack of Game of Thrones references. I don't watch GoT.

Finally, for those of you who can't remember the episode, that last letter referred to this guy:

Comments

[ShadowLDrago]

Dear Rainbow Dash:
You did pretty well for your first time trying to sabotage an entire season. Do you mind if I join you next time? I could teach you some of my favorite tricks!
Sincerely, The Grinch.

Dear The Grinch:

Didn't you get reformed or something?

Sincerely, Rainbow Dash.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

6187249 I think someone hasn't seen "The Grinch Grinches The Cat in The Hat" and "Halloween is Grinch Night".

[Neko Majin C]

The Dash looked outside and listened close
For the sounds she hoped to hear the most.
Laments for the winter that never came,
Without her Tank, winter was lame.

She looked about and was soon crestfallen
She was inside a giant snowball and
She just now realized it. She's not as fast
with her brain as she is with her ass.

It is just a few months, you stupid git,
It is not like he's dying, get over it.
But if you still need some cheering up,
Give Princess Twilight Sparkle a good fuck.

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Worthless toad! Is that the best you can do?

I am sorry my Mistress, once again, I angered you.
Would you like me to fetch the club, or perhaps something less blunt?

No, you worthless prick, just crawl to me and eat my cunt.

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~KBO.

[milesprower06]

6187841 A winner is you!

[Peridance Glow]

I'm not the only person in the world who doesn't watch GoT? Thank Arceus!

[Web of Hope]

6199868 I also do not watch Game of Incest.