Dear Flim and Flam:
Why the hell do you even bother negotiating with those mud ponies? You're unicorns! Use those horns of yours to enslave them or something!
Then again, I must admit I'm impressed by how many bits you've managed to get out of that scam. Indeed, I almost feel tempted to offer you a pardon and funding so that you may continue to trick the mindless masses into giving up their money. After all, it's not like they're ever going to invest in anything meaningful, so it should go into the hooves of ponies who are going to build Equestria's economy.
Your racist princess, Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle:
Could you be so kind as to offer us asylum within your library? We're finding it awfully hard to run away while carrying all these bits!
Your favorite con-artists, Flim and Flam.
P.S.: We'll give you Applejack's bass!
Dear Flim and Flam:
I'm busy trying to come up with some way of fooling the pegasi into thinking that I care about them! To be honest, there's only one pegasus who I could possibly care about.
Your indifferent Princess, Twilight Sparkle.
P.S.: Since when does Applejack play bass? More to the point, when do you get that?
Dear Granny Smith:
Did you just sell my bass?! Ah swear ah have no idea why ah haven't sent you to a retirement home.
Your angry granddaughter, Applejack.
Dear Applejack:
Bass? Since when do you play bass?
Your confused grandmother, Granny Smith.
Dear Applesack:
I must admit, I'm impressed that a brawny earth pony like you had the brains to put not one, but two unicorns in their place. And even more so that you convinced another Dirtville pony to stand up to the FlimFlamily, even though they were the ones who employed him and would thus leave him without any income.
And you're not just resourceful, my dear Applejohn! You're also lucky enough to have made a bit out of the deal! I mean, one bit may not be much, but I'm sure that the interest you'll make on it will eventually make you rich!
In any case, I suggest you don't spend it on anything. I suspect you might need some extra money on hoof in the near future.
Love, Disco Dragon-pony.