Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

Princess Celestia Has Dyed, Part 1

WANTED

Dyeing Hooligan That Turned Me Pink

Dearest citizens of Canterlot,

I require your aid in locating a miscreant that saw fit to prank me in one of my most vulnerable and sacred locations. And before you start guessing, no, it’s not the kitchen.

It’s not the second kitchen either. It’s my bathroom.

I seek any individual(s) with the stealth, capability and/or innate talent of infiltrating my castle tower and staining the contents of my lavender and rose-scented Dreamy Time Bubble Bath bottle with Red Dye No. 40. I say “any” because I have no earthly idea who did it, other than they had acted with a sense of professionalism and did not disturb any other contents in my room or the bathroom. Only my bubble bath was targeted, meaning this was an act of severe prank aggression. And it will not go unpunished.

If you have any information on any suspicious individuals prowling around Canterlot or near the castle grounds, do not hesitate to write a response or seek an audience with me. I’m open to any leads at this time. And to sweeten the pot, if your information successfully leads to the capture of the neer-do-well that dyed my bubble bath, I promise a ten—no, twenty thousand bit reward. Alternatively, a choice of one item from my priceless jewelry collection is on the table for those wealthy enough to scoff at the bit reward, but oogled at my jewelry like a foal outside a candy shop window. You know who you are.

Help me locate this “funny” prankster, dear citizens, and I shall be forever thankful for your aid.

Your Unfortunate Pink Princess,

Princess Celestia

P.S. Anypony attempting to loophole their way into claiming the reward will be gifted a mandatory ten-hour lecture on the subject of “How to Not Waste My Time With Your Money-grubbing Shenanigans”. You also know who you are. Don’t try it, please.

Comments

[A British Gentleman]

Pinkie pie.

[MythrilMoth]

Has to be Luna.

[WanderingPony]

You clearly underestimate the Ninja Princess, Cadence.

It will be the last time you make fun of the "Pretty Pink Princess" for the next century.

(Note: She's already replaced Luna's sunscreen, too.)

[Masterweaver]

Clearly, it was none other then... CELESTIA HERSELF!

[Streakofscarlet]

Watch it all turn out to be Celestia's elaborate plan.

Oh, I know! It was Appleplack!

[blazikenking]

The culprit is the one, the only, Tau Sunflare.

[Briarpelt]

Who would dare do such a thing? And who is desperate enough to catch them?

[PiMan]

Both Pinkie and Discord have the means and motive.

[Forestshadows]

Probably Pinkie Pie, or it could be Discord, but I'm leaning towards Pinkie Pie.

[BlueYoshi]

It could be:

-The Pink Menace, who has always gotten away with her pranks.
-Princess Luna, who just wants to prank her own sister for fun.
-Discord, because he's usually up to no good, even if he is reformed.
-Sunny or Moony, because it was an accident.

[Bojack H]

7378581

I'm not prepared to rule out the other pink princess, what's her alibi, babysitting an albatross?

[Seether00]

it was me!

[FanOfMostEverything]

I'm going to go against the grain and say it was the ghost of Sombra. Don't ask me how that works, but I feel it's the most likely outcome.

[Coyotek4]

I blame the toy companies.

[Majora]

I'm just wondering what Cadance is thinking. Tia did just say unfortunately pink, meaning she may not like the color.

I blame Cadance and possibly Pinkie. Luna might have something to do with it too.

-Sanity is Overrated

[Streakofscarlet]

Joking aside, really loved how this story turned out. What started as Celestia pretty much acting like a cynical bitch toward all the stupidity turned into her own story about what she does and thinks.

Though, why is there an Alternate Universe tag?

[Alchemist Fox]

I'm surprised nobody has brought up Rainbow Dash as a possible suspect.

[Cursed Quill]

oogled at my jewelry

ogled my jewelry