Dear Princess Ember,
First and foremost, I would like to congratulate you on behalf of all of Equestria for finally being the first native of the Dragon Lands I’ve had the pleasure of communicating with in the last few years. The last time I’ve had any sort of discourse was with a very insecure male, and that hadn’t exactly ended on the brightest of notes for either of us and--
I’ll start over. Hi, I’m Princess Celestia, ruler of Canterlot and sister of the pony that has bi-monthly shouting matches with your father, Torch. Or should I call him Former Dragon Lord Torch? Does it matter to you? I hope not.
Anyway, I write this letter to you partially as a humble greeting from another fellow princess across the land and sea. While I understand that you might not be buddy-buddy with many of ponykind, I should hope that some friendly correspondence can change the diminutive appearance dragons have seen us as for millennia.
That being said, I also bear a warning for one of our fellow princesses, and it is one you have already met. You may not have picked up on Twilight’s thirst for knowledge of your kind--or perhaps you had, somewhat. You did give her permission to write to you should she have any questions about dragon culture, and she grew so excited at this prospect she wrote to me about this new line of communication with you.
Which I am using right now to state that you will be flooded with a tsunami of questions ranging from how many gatherings you arrange to what favorite time dragons love to hunt for their hoard. She’ll ask you all about how you made your armor, from the type of metal used down to the exact temperature your dragonfire was at for shaping and molding, and the quenching fluid that was used. She’ll also definitely ask you how your father Torch designed a cave that was half his size with those big, meaty claws of his. From that, she will cleanly segue into asking about how he met your mother. I am not joking.
But seriously, in case you thought I was joking, Twilight sent me a copy of the list of questions she had prepared to ask you in small installments. The complete list started in my room, rolled downstairs, exited into the garden, fully navigated my rebuilt hedge maze and looped around my bird fountain. Then it re-entered the castle through the ballroom and wound its way through the hallways to my throne room, where it proceeded to cover every square inch of flooring before exiting the front door and stopping just before it reached the main gate.
I hope you have a comfortable chair or a lot of free time on your claws, because going through this entire list would take anywhere from three whole months to years to answer, depending on the frequency at which she asks these questions. I am also willing to bet that there will be quite a few questions that you’ll refuse to answer, particularly the questions related to the very intimate nature of dragons. This may sound like an odd solution, but I suggest you have your father Torch answer some of those questions you'd rather not touch with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole. I believe Twilight would be more than happy to hear about some of that experience firsthand from one of the largest dragons in the world. That and he’s raised a fabulous daughter, so clearly he’s been the best father you could ask for… for better or worse, depending on your view of him.
Anyway, I believe my warning’s been made clear. If you have problems doing all of these things yourself, delegate it to others! It’s worked for me for centuries upon centuries, and I see no reason why it wouldn’t work for you, especially given that glowstick-y flea flicker thing you can do as Lord of Dragons. I wish I could do that--no really, you have no idea how much I would enjoy such an ability. I have a long list of nobles I can see using that on… so as a side request, do you think you can tell me how that’s done?
One more thing. If Twilight ever gets on your nerves to the point where she even annoys who you delegate, do let me know. I’ll try to reel her in as soon as I get a response.
Best Regards,
Princess Celestia
...Hm? Bit of a cold breeze just blew by. Is that a letter from Princess Cadance?
Why, it is! Oh, I’ll bet she wants me to come by and help with her darling Flurry! Alright, I’ve got a whole new bag of tricks ready to spoil my grand-niece and--
...Oh no. Oooooooooh noooooooo…
So that’s where the other cards went.
Page generated in 0.058 seconds
Total duration
1,011 users online
1,602,051 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Someone watched 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas'
7144534 That or Celestia knows that measurement from experience
To be fair, ponies' diminutive appearance is often more a function of the dragons' size than their opinions.
Oh my God, the list of questions is so long, it achieved self-awareness. I am both horrified and genuinely impressed.
Good to see that Celestia's cutting this potential diplomatic incident off at the pass.
This was certainly a fun read, and the idea of Torch dictating a letter to Twilight about him and Ember's mother - probably within earshot - is hilarious. (He'd have to dictate, cause can you imagine him trying to hold such a tiny quill?)
7144591
I can imagine that and it is hilarious.
What did you say, punk?
7144615
Even worse! Ember has to dictate it since she's the only dragon who knows how to read and write!
7144591 Don't be silly, Torch would write like a REAL dragon, carving his words on giant slabs of stone which he then drops on Twilight's doorstep
I was thinking of this image while reading this chapter.
img00.deviantart.net/659e/i/2016/109/4/c/hungry_of_knowledge_by_saturdaymorningproj-d9zh5hp.jpg
Source
7144675
7144670
I am truly torn between which mental image would be funny. Probably the slabs, just because that is more epic and a bigger pain in the for the ponies of Ponyville.
Horde: A large group or crowd.
Hoard: A guarded collection or accumulation.
7144758
Darn speech-to-text! It was so close.
Thanks, and fixed.
I thought they would be playing poker or something
7144885 Nah, definitely the shouting match.
This is Luna and Torch we're talking about.
7144659 big. Meaty. Claws
7146377 Exactly, so I would expect some competition. But a shouting match seems like child's play for them
7146403 Well, those claws aren't just for attracting mates!
Hey, Twilight, for a crash course on the more intimate nature's of dragons, just ask any of the HUNDRED fics that popped up hours after the pisode aired
7151435 I have three siblings and this seems a bit off.
...where what other cards went? Is she talking about the season opener?
7156476
Not those sort of cards.
Membership cards, to be more specific.
7156638 Oh... OH! Tia is going on the warpath against this group now that their acronym will interfere with her spoiling duties, isn't she? I'm thinking a lunar vacation. Or she will use the glowsticky flea-flicker spell thing she gets from Ember to nag them incessantly until they DO change the name. It WAS rather hard for Spike to ignore, wasn't it? Not like a complaint letter that can be tossed into the shredder as soon as it arrives. Which, given the amount of respect alicorns seem to get, I am pretty sure is what has happened.
... Actually, I can see her using it, then deliberately ignoring them for a bit to drive them crazy and give them a taste of their own customer service. Just for fun, and to drive the point home. And I can see them changing it so the acronym says "S.O.M.B.R.A." or "C.H.A.N.G.E.L.I.N.G." (Or both!) in revenge. Imagine what happens when Cadance gets THOSE cards.
And oh lord, what happens when Sunny and Moony learn that spell! Or if it gets accidentally used on Pinkie...
7147787 still find spike shipping so boarder line child porn. Just Dan you shippers and yoor fetishs
*Fluffle Puff-esque gasp* Huwah! I found a wefwens! Dat mean I got Intwonet cookies! Da Gwinsing has been dubbled!
~Woona
"rein her in" seems like a better fit?