Captain Spitfire,
I was spending a relaxing bit of time in my room reading a novel on my favorite chair. I rarely get such free time, but when I get it, I spend it like this, content on willing away the ills and woes of the day with no expected interruptions short of my sister discovering another food development she missed in the last millenium. This time she discovered Hayburgers. Gods help her for that place; their food tastes like shame slathered in secret sauce. Delicious, awful shame.
Anyway, one of your students paid me a visit today by crashing into my tower. Again. Just straight-up plowed through the doors and nailed me in the chair. A pretty commendable shot, to be sure, except for the fact that I'm not the target they should be aiming at.
This is the fifth time this month, Spitfire, and I'm really starting to wonder if the catapults and tornado launchers the trainees use are aimed at my tower once a week on purpose just to piss me off. I know the last time I visited the Wonderbolt Academy, those things were facing mountains without a giant city attached on the side, so the idea that they'd get turned towards my home without forewarning of pony bombardment seems lax on your part.
I get that you need to make sure the ponies under your wing are Wonderbolt material, and that it calls for them to adapt to extreme situations that your squadron has encountered before in the line of duty. I even know that it actually happened once when Soarin decided to be a bit foalish over the town and ended up breaking Discord's stained-glass window. But if you're going to have this be a thing, do me a solid and let me know when it happens so I can have the guards set up a rebound net. That way they'll stop hitting my walls and instead hit something more of a cushion than me.
Further, I request that you send me your roster for reserve Wonderbolts this week. I need to update the records here, and I know Rainbow Dash has exhibited great interest in being one. Send it to me as soon as possible so I can keep the list here updated.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
P.S. If I have to come down there and get those roster records, I'll show you exactly what it feels like to be me when a student becomes a castle crasher.
Page generated in 0.052 seconds
Total duration
1,095 users online
2,154,507 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I really am enjoying all those hilarious letters! Keep up the good work, mate.
Tsk tsk, Spitfire...
O-oh, my...
Thought for sure she was going to chew her out for lightning dust and their inability to save Rarity, twice.
Just wait till Celestia finds out that Twilight loves eating these hay burgers. i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/704/655/f72.gif
Lower Cannon by 3 degrees right point two degrees. Location. Valid.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Here is the roster you asked for and that for today we will be testing Bulk Biceps in the launcher, thank you.
Captain of the Wonderbolts
Soarin
Yes I do know that is the location of Celestia's throne. Fire.
5798511
Oh good, I'm not the only one that thought that.
5798511
bit.ly/1By7Wb7
5798533
MMh. Many options..
1 - Compensating? Have you taken a look at Canterlot recently? The long, hard circular towers with rounded tips everywhere? Somewhat pink- ish tint to most of it? Standing proud off a massive mountain?
2 - Celly being the god-empress of the universe doesn't need to compensate for anything. What she wants is law. Nobles and the rest of the riff-raff are merely tolerated at best (their wailing are harmless if time consuming..) , introduced to Brutus (repeatedly) at worse.
3 - Maybe the massive glass windows are an immortal's equivalent to post-it notes?
4 - Maybe they were the better alternative to something much, much worse. Something pOHGODWhey Pinkie! How are you?
5798721
Captain Soarin,
The roster has been received. Thank you for coming through on that when Spitfire did not. Truly you are a pegasus I can rely on in these insane times.
Also, by the time you get this response, Bulk should be coming back in about ten seconds. You might want to--and you probably got hit by now.
Get well soon,
Princess Celestia
5799169
Dear Princess Celestia,
YEEEEEE-Ow.
-Bulk Biceps.
Oh goody! Leader nepotism evidence that any self respecting instability instigater can use to their benefit, despite lesser well known justification evidence.
In all seriousness, I'm curious to why Celestia needed to use a P.S. threat to get a roster for a branch of a defense organization that she has (/should have already) control over.
Or maybe the Wonderbolt parallels are less to the Blue Angels than I thought.
Or Spitfire is just really insubordinate.
Or I missed something earlier in the story.
5799100
No, but it would be fun!
And we are back to funny again, Thank the Sun and the Moon!
5801711 Fair point
and you always need toilet paper
5800880
OH DEAR FAUST WHAT HAVE YOU SAID!
Great, Now I'm picturing a Pegasus dressed up like this:
cdn.akamai.steamstatic.com/steam/apps/204360/header.jpg?t=1417815853
5805572 So I'm NOT the only one who plays that game!
5798640
Where do you think Twilight got it?
5805572 Same.
5798533 Are you saying that Celestia is futa?
5807210 I have the demo on my Steam account, last I remember...
Tia seems a might upset!
derpicdn.net/img/2014/8/28/709704/full.gif