Dear Pinkie,
Look, I know you're starved for cult members, and you're probably still sour over the expansion to Canterlot falling out.
Another one of your... more dedicated members visited to preach, and I have to ask something: what is up with their smile? When they smile, it's wide. Unnaturally wide. I think their jaw unhinged, and I'm pretty sure I saw a second row of teeth. That is CREEPY, Pinkie.
That didn't sell anyone on your religion, obviously, and they left without incident a few hours later. I guess you should be satisfied that at least everypony in Ponyville is part of your little religious zeal by now.
But if I read this letter correctly, coupled with the Mayor informing me of a new citizen that moved in recently, then your friendship report pretty much told me that this new face was a hard sell to convert to your Pinkist cult. Even after you managed to get through to them, they still sound like they prefer a restraining order on you, however useless that piece of paper is.
You know mine's on my tower, right? It's just to the side of the balcony entrance in plain view; I know you see it. I know it says it's okay for you to visit once a month, but you're visiting me once a week. And no, scratching out "month" on the order and adding "week" in blue ink surrounded with sparkly glitter doesn't change that fact.
Anyway, in terms of your lesson learned, it's still valid. Not everypony you meet will be bubbly and cheerful, and they might prefer peace and quiet for weeks or months at a time like I do. Dogged persistence as prevalent as yours can certainly foster friendship, but you must also recognize when such a pursuit is too heavy-hoofed. Push too far, and you'll just push away.
Friendship is a fine balance between showing enough care and interest to let them know of it, but never so much as to be annoying, coddling, or condescending. It's a balance I thought I had for Luna long ago; that was a careless mistake of a careless mind, and it's one I will NOT repeat. Take care that you mind yours, or else you'll find that pushing away is all you're capable of.
That said, I also formally request that you stop harassing Mayor Mare over the lack of funds for a cathedral, and by extension, harassing me for funding of said cathedral. The treasury's bits only go towards demanding financial and official crises, not religious. If you want it built, you'll need to raise the money yourself. Ask for donations, have a bake sale organized, do something besides racketeer me for money!
Please.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Hello, Lu-oof!
Luna?! Hold on, let me get some tissues.
Here. Blow your nose, wipe those tears, take a deep breath.
She came for you, didn’t she? It’s okay, it’s okay; she came for me too, sister.
Of course you can stay here tonight. Just don’t kick off the covers.
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All must revel in the pinkness.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/2/14/827970__safe_smile_spoiler-colon-s05_equal+cutie+mark_creepy+smile.png
That doesn't sound like Pinkie's Modus Operandi. That sounds like somepony else, working from the shadows under the guise of Pinkieism. Possibly a certain somepony trying to make everypony have the same cutie mark, perhaps?
5712878 are you talking about Slaanesh?
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/185/0/a/horror_pinkie_pie_v_2_by_hauo-d6c15zg.png
5712825 I am pretty sure its called "Anything but the Kitchen Sink".
There is also one where she is shipped with a fridge, also think I once saw a RDxMicrowave fic somewhere.
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRPRRs89IEanMyMCbOMpNKmm8rwAKGjRCE5tFfrsbHbwEicyAZ8Rg
5712995
Yes, I got the Chica / Five Nights At Freddy's reference too.
5712832
So.. pinkie got early acess to the cloning pool?
I really want to see an artist's conception of what a cathedral to Pinkieism would look like.
All hail Pinkie! Smile! Smile! Smile!
What if Celestia saw Smile HD...
Oh god.
5713085 Seems legit!
Here you go Prince Blueblood, the authorized changes to Princess Celestia's Restraing Order to one Pinkamina Diane Pie, has been reduced from once a month to once a second. You must sign here as official Recognize agent of Celestia.
S̸̢̻̱̟̑͋͒ȟ̖͚̯͔̼̬͚͔̎͋̋̊̇͋͡e̵̼̰̱͙̩̋͛͂ͭͪͯ͌̕͜ ͇̞̠͉͙̭̫̥ͥͯ͌ͧ̊͑ͦf͔̬̻̲̮̠ͤͮ̇̏̒̿͞͞e͍̜̲̜͕ͮͣ͂͢ͅͅe̢̔̅͂҉̙̱̯͢d̮̳̫͖̪͙̳̻͕̀͐ͬ̓s͕̮̭̠͈̻̄̀ͫͤ̚͜ ̤ͪ̾ͬͤͩͩͦ͠ͅǫ̨ͭ̓ͫ͒ͬ͏̪̜͎n̘͔̠͔͍̯ͨ͒͒͂̋̅̔ ̹͎̖̱̑̾̎s̸̝̩͙͙̞̳̮ͩ̑͋͒̐ͯ͑͋m͌ͬ̃̀͋҉҉̻͡ͅi̶̢͔̟̫͔̲̾̄͆ͨͥ̾ͨ̀l͙̟̈́͌ͦ͐ͦ̔̕ě̘̯̪̻̍͒͒̒́͒͒̏͠s̴̱̞͕̫̳͂͌.̵̞͕̌̍ͦ͌̾̋͟ͅ
̭̟͍̪ͫͫ͆ͯ̅ͥͨͨ̊D̗̂ͭ̉̂̆̾̈͘ǒ̶̖̻͖̦̰̤͛͊ͥ̉ͫ̽̀o͈̮̲̺̒ͯ̈ͥͬ̓͗̿r̭͎̦͓̒̋̓͐ͩ͟͡s͛͊҉̠̤̮͔͈͉͉͝ ̛͇̙̮͙̣̤̌ͯc̵͖̀͐̊ͩͅȃ̮͖̠ͅn̺̺͎̹̠̺̍̍̄͌͟͠n̨̨͉͂ͫ̄ͮ̄́́o̰̗͈̠̩ͧͦ̽̏́ͨ́͗̅͜͝ͅṭ̡̠ͣ͛ͬ̇̆ͤ̀̑͘ ̵͖͚̮̲̋͒̒ͫ̆ͩ̿s͙͓̀͗̀͛t͈͈̤̟̏o͈̦͍̦̘̮ͫ̔͋̔ͮ̑p̥̞̥̤͕̝͊́̓̒ͨ̒͌ͣ̂ ̨̢͉͍͍ͣͥ̅̉͊ͣ̊͆̚Ḧ̻̲̯̂̋̐ͮ̑̚͞e̷͉̹̞͍̺ͧ͊͗͒ͬ͋̿͟͝r͙͈͉̻̥͙͌̂ͤ̔͊̀.̸͖̬̗̖͚̤̙͒̐̈͗ͨ̓́̚
̨͍̫̬̟̹̘͙̽̒͝ͅW̺̲̮̩͎͕̽̎ͫ͟͡a̶̧̓͒͏͚͎̞̯lͣ̀҉̖͕̼͔̜̕l̜̠͚̺̹̘͎ͬ̚͟͢s̱̥͚̰̤̓̉ͨ̄̓͢͢ ̤͉̾̊ͫ̒͌͆ͣͤ̚c̴ͭͧͬ͞͏̳̤̥͕̙ǎ̢ͭ͊̎̉̀̔͑̍͏̗̬̹n̖̟͖̙̉ͫ̒̒̚͟n͍̳̭͈͖͑͗̈́̆͂̈́ͪ͆͝͠o̗̩̙͎̮̱̘ͯ͑̄̐̒̽́́͟ͅt̷͇͔̱̜̖͈̩͆̅̿̈̿ͯ̈̅ͣ͟ ̪͋ͧ̊͊͒̇ͯ͞ͅc̋ͪ̍҉̧̘̘̦̱̙̝̝̳̤o̊҉̣̦̲̲͈͎ǹ̴͎͔̦ͪ͋ͭ̔͒̚͘ţ͇̤̘͕̝̝͈̩̍ͤ̔ͣ͒̽͜a͆̊͒̓͐͏͚͔̖̰̭͍̙͎i͇̰̫̜̪̤̤̒ͭͨ̂ͥ̇̈͘͟n̶̘̯̞̖̝̝͒̑.̴̯̺̬ͥ͊̀ͫ̈́̀
̨̡̛̯̯̘̜̟̠̦̠̎̂̿̋ͩ̚Ģ̸̝̠͇̝̞̦͉̘̅̆̆ͨ͋ͫͤ͊r̢̬̘̱̹̫̖͔̬ͤͭa̹͓̓͗ͨ̿͗̒̓ͯ͜͡v̭͊̑̋̓̚í̥̼̮͍̰̗̞̭́ͨ͑̽͗̌̓t͕̞̱̩̝̻̯̞͒̆ỹ̶͉̫̬̹̲̣́̚͢ ̷͍̍̃̃ͩͭ̌̎͂S͈͎͈̗̝͉͙͋ͮ̒̀̓h̫͔͈̖ͤ͐͆͂͛̍̓ͅe͉͇̟̮̎ͣͬ̽̂ͅ ̣̰̹̼̠͚͖͍ͧ̉̊ͤ̈́̚e͙̳̙̮̣̹ͯ̔͆̓̊ͭͬ̊̚s̪̝̝͌̀̏̽̈ͣ͊̀ͅc̷̶̗̯̭̓ͥ̌͆̍ͅa̳̼̩̙̘̯̤̐̾͐̄͌̎p̛̙̩̈͋͌̌̅ͅe̱̬ͭ̚ș̡͙̏̄.̵̲̣̯̮̹̒̀̚
̢̻͍̩͚̟͓̅̒ͩ̉S̴̸̠̟̞̖̮̩̤͚͂ͤ̑ͭh̵͍̞̙̺̫͚̐ͨ̔͂̍̇̃͂́ͅē̤̘̘̺͓̥͓ͥ͐ͧͅ'̞͍̼̣̳̱̜̳̺̃̃ͬ̑̃͡s̵͉͕̒ͫ͢ ̱͔̟̎c̫͗̍͂͡o̥̣̭͇̪͚̲͂ͩ̔̏́͟m̗̩̮̿ͫ̒̾͊͗ͤ̍i̡̡͈͓̽͐̍̓̇̄͒̚ǹ͚͓̼̜̘͍̖͙͆̓͟g͔̪͚͍̰͙̦̟̋͝.̧́ͩ͏̧̞͎̞͚̫
We are the Cult of the Pink. We are here to bring smiles to everypony in Equestria. We will bring you parties, sweets, and games. Do not resist. You will join us and be happy. You will party with us and have fun...forever.
5714079
"Life is a party, and you're all invited. No need to RSVP; we've done that for you, silly billy!"
~Pinkist Brochure, Page 3.14159...
I want Cheese Sandwich to make her pay
5712927 I dread sleeping tonight.
5714487 me to.
5714029 SHE COMES!
5712832 Gah! Spoilers! Stoppit! >:[
5714145
that holy scripture is on page pie...
5714376 THE CHEESY ONE WILL STRIKE DOWN THE PINK HERETIC
5713032 Same...
5715503 Sorry! In all honesty, this is hardly a spoiler. Just some mares beaming insanely.
5714029
How the hell did you do that?
Anywhorse, I liked the idea of pinkie having a personal chapel. Keep up the good stuff!
5714145 I see what you did there. π
This new Pinkist cult is stupid. Just another heathen false religion. I can tell you for a fa-
Gaaagh! Agggh! No! No! Don't do it! Don't do it!
No!
...
Y̴o̖̹͝u͍̣͓̭͉ ͉̟̰͚͎ͅc͓a̢͎͇͉͈̫͈n͇̞̙͜no̥̖t̨̲̺̙͍̭̙̟ ̹͔̲̤̤ͅŕe̮̖̙̱̜s͍̫͚͓̼i̭s̱̠̤̣̝̣̙͘t̵̼ ̝̭̠̳͘t͇̮̥̜͇̗h̗̯͓͜e ̳͉f͔̣͢u͉͓̠͜ṋ̵̲͔̣̼.҉̬͓̠̬̤
͈̣Y̼̯͇̻̯͔o҉̲͙͔͖̜̘ṵ̼͜ ̥͎͍c̸͔a̘͞n͎͚̲̲̙͉̺n̹̰̫ot̖̩̼̜̠̹ ̴̹r̨̭̭e͝s̤ị̖̟̘̟̦̹s͓̦̲̹̘͔͇͞t͓̙͚̠̲ ͇͎͎̦͎̣t̢̰͚h͓̭̙ͅe̱ ̦̘̱͙̜̤j͡oy̶.͇̞̟͖̖͉͢
̯̮͔͎̠̫͎S̼m̩͎̕i͏͇̣̮̦̭̮̺l͇̙e!͔̩͘ ̺͝Sm̵̳͚̜̮̠̪̟ị͜l̷̟̮̱̜̠̮̝e̼̱ ̢̠͙̬S̱͎͈̳ͅm͔̰̞͖̬͟i̴l̡̯̭͕e̬̟͖͈̲̰̩!̱͖͇͚̜͝
̛̲ͅG̪͕̤͇͈͢i̻̗͈̤͡g͡g̸̟͚̭̘̣͈l̡͕͔e̹̮̯ ą͔t̨͖͖͍ ̛̳̹̙̯̪̭̹t́ͅh̘͖͙̪̟e͇̥̖͔̝͙̹ ̠͓̲͔̭g̪ḩo҉̝̠͓ͅṣ͉t̼̝͙̬̠l̳̘y̨̝͉̟̹ͅ ͏̟a҉͚͔̭ǹ̠ͅd̵̼͖̰̩̟͓ ͙̩̥̺̗̯c̩̰̣͉o͡n҉̱͔̺ͅf̬̭̖̤̹ͅͅo̰̭̻̺̞ŗ͙͎̥͈m̵̩̼̲.
J̢̳̼͙͈u̱͎͚̮̼s̤̩t̰̭̲ ͉̝ḻ̥̯̼̭͘ͅa̩͝u̠̪͔̖̟͜g͖͓h̷̜̺̞̟͈ ̱̣͎̤̕t͏̬̣̬͉o̼̠̰̞̹̭͙͜ ̤͕͇̗͘m̱̹̭̙̯͢ak̬͓̗e̠̟͈͖ ͔̪͓̻ͅt̡͕̼̜̩͙̭ͅh͚̠̙̯̥̟̦ḙ̢͍̰̣͉̗m̦ ̛̤d̢̬̗ͅiș̟̙̠a͓͔̟̟͕̘̬p̡̙̗̞̫̻̬̦p̮͖͕̟͈̩̙ẹ̢͍͎͕̺̦a̳̹̺̜̟͙͇r̶͓̪̖͍̥.͏̣̮̪̟̝
̤̼̙̹̼H̜̳̰͓̝̣̺a̶͎!̤ ̯̻H̡̠̫̰̣̗͉͖a̬̣̹!҉͙͎͇͎ ̫͈̯Ḩ̺͔a̟̲!̝
͇̠̫͟
̩̼̪͔͈̼͕S͏͖̼̣̝̝̱h̨̲͙̤̝̞e͇̙̫̞͙͙͎ ̳̱͍͇̖͙͔com̗̠͇̱̦͇̦e̸͚͕̪̼s.̫̻̹̣͘
5601363 because going Super Sayian on Tirek counts as her not being upset about the library blowing up, plus the new promos show her and Spike crying in the rubble.
I love reading the conversations you people have on this fic.
Pinkie Pie is scaring me more and more.
5712832 Hey! Keep all those Season 5 spoilers FAR away from me until Saturday!
Relgious fanatics with wide creepy as the Abyss smiles? Why do those sound so dang familiar?
Gnarl: Master, I beleive you beheaded a few of them for milling about in your throne room...and bedchambers while you were getting it on with the OTHER celestia, no, not the Molly one, the Anthro one that looks like a woman then a pony and is from your actual part of the multicosmos.
Oh right, right! Knew those guys rang a bell...What did i do with them again?
Gnarl: I think you sent them back in matchboxes with a note that if anymore came when it was 'snuggie' time you'd find her and unleash the most horrifying thing on her.
Right. Sorry Gnarl, I've killed so many people its hard to keep track of them.
Gnarl: Perfectly alright master.
5713499 (Presses Enter) What? No, I didn't just forward the video link to her! What are you talking about?
]---[ Those who cling to their old ways shall be cast into the Pit of Party Poopers until the end of days. Tortured forever until broken of their ways and The Pink Smile adorns their face forever more. ]--[
- The Book of Pinkism
5712878 It sounds like Strexcorp to me.
Celestia needs to learn a lesson. What Pinkie wants, Pinkie gets.
Even if it means causing another disaster in Ponyville and sneaking a cathedral into the rebuild's blueprints.
5803871 *Squees* heck yes for all the Overlord...
What good are worshipful zealots, if they won't even pony-up to build a cathedral? Maybe Pinkie should start small and rent the local convention center... I'm sure Ponyville has one of those, somewhere. Every town does. It's a source of income for the Mayor, after all, and what politician would turn down money?!
This comments section is simultaneously the most disturbing and funniest thing I’ve read.