Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

Owls are Nocturnal, Baby Dragons are Not

Dear Spike,

Setting aside your lesson for a moment, I've got a small bone to pick with you.

This morning, I woke up to a familiar smell emanating from my closet. The tangy stench of dragon is a smell I can't forget, as much as I want to. It's also one I'm sure you're quite familiar with, because your eggshell is in there. Again.

Look, I'm flattered you still think of me as your mother after all this time, but there's better and less disgusting ways to express that than by leaving your birth shell in my closet. Just add an "I love you" in Twilight's friendship reports if you feel this strongly about it. I'm sure she won't mind.

I'm sending this eggshell back to you, and I insist on you keeping it with Twilight for now. She is your caretaker now, not me. I know she's probably not as thorough or thoughtful as I am, but she's trying her best in terms of that.

Because if she wasn't, you would have told me. And then she would have to answer to me, and we both know how that would go down.

But more importantly, since it's ultimately your eggshell, I want you to leave it with somepony special to your heart. Clearly Twilight isn't that, judging from your earlier rant that referred to her as a "Purple Peabrain." Therefore, whoever your secret crush is, they deserve it more than I do.

Besides, I already have the other half of your eggshell anyway. In a sealed container, locked up tight in my safe all the way across the castle, but it's there. That's how much I value it, Spike. Take that at whatever value you see fit.

Now, onto your lesson. Jealousy is indeed a nasty little thing, especially for dragons. It shares similar ties to envy, despite their opposing nature of one worrying for losing what you have to someone else, and the other for wanting what someone else has. And when one has both in spades, the result can be extremely self-destructive.

This vicious cycle has its grip firmly on dragon hearts and souls, and it is one I am glad to see you will not be a part of if this lesson is any indicator of your progress and--

Hold on. There's a green dragon right outside my balcony making a ruckus. Something about smelling the dragon that robbed some of his hoar--

...we're going to have a VERY long talk later.

Love,

Princess Celestia

Comments

[Aurora Dimmet]

Does it seem like Celestia's becoming slightly more canon and motherly again than from when she was calling Twilight a bitch and such?

IGNORE ME!

[Maxes Altho]

5622921 This letter is her talking to Spike, who is sort of a son to her, so she acts a bit nicer.
I personally can perfectly see Celestia having these 'pissed-off' moments that just so happen to coincide with when she writes her responses to her student

[Aurora Dimmet]

5622969

I don't mean specifically this letter, the last couple also seem more tame.

[BlueYoshi]

Whoa, a letter not meant for Twilight? And the eggshell came back?

My mind is officially blown.

[DragonMaus]

But how did the eggshell come back?

I blame Pinkie Pie.

[Billblok]

5622921 I don't recall her calling Twilight that in the story.

[Canary In The Coal Mine]

5622921 You might be confusing it with Responses to a Disgruntled Friendship Student, which while a similar premise is replies to a bad Twilight's "friendship reports" rather than the canon ones this is.

[Tennis Match Fan]

And then Rarity gets a rotten eggshell in her room.

[Alex Warlorn]

I know what Word of Creator is on that issue. But considering Spike's worst fear is Twilight disowning him. And he RAN AWAY FROM HOME opposed to running to Celestia when he thought Twilight didn't love her anymore . . .

[Aurora Dimmet]

5623223

... Holy fuck. You're right. Thank you for that, I straight up confused myself.

[Trickquestion]

I don't know Celestia, you're the one who left the still underdeveloped child in the care of a mentally unstable teenager with the explicit purpose of having him wait on her every need so she wouldn't actually have to develop as a person. I think you're at fault here.

[Apocryphal Frost]

5623591 Teenager? The mane six have jobs, live on their own, and the show would have indicated if Twilight was younger than the rest of them, like it did with Fluttershy being the oldest. (Saying she's older than Pinkie, when they all got their cutie marks at the same time she was bigger.)

They're young adults at least.

[TheArchive]

5625153

I think he meant when Twilight first started taking care of Spike.

[howard035]

5623425 And we see him visit Canterlot maybe once without Twilight, and then he only returns at her side. I've always assumed dragons, like other reptiles, imprint on whoever hatches them.

[howard035]

5625153 You're right about their age, but honestly that just makes it worse, now I no longer have sympathy for Twilight as a teen mom.

[SharpNote the FABULOUS]

...we're going to have a VERY long talk later.

[Pinklestia]

5698557

Yes, after she sents the green dragon to the sun.

[Misty Spell]

Dude, just throw the eggshell in the garbage if it's that big a deal.

[HowlingWolf64]

5625153 in an interview Lauren Faust said she imagined the Mane 6 being 12 - 13 years old