Pinkamena Doppelganger Pie,
What were you even thinking?!
There are so many clones of you in this castle, it's not even funny. They won't leave, and they're all staring at me, screaming fun in my face and--will all of you SHUT UP already?!
I've been casting the return postage spell on these things nonstop for the past ten hours, and it's exactly as inefficient as it sounds. I only stopped to write this letter to address the root of the problem--put Brutus down this instant! He is NOT a toy! Ahem, at this point I only hope the 'real' Pinkie I'm writing to right now isn't here in the room with me, because that would lead to a most unfortunate accident.
Why do you even know about the mirror pool? Wait, no, that's obvious. Better question: why did you think using it was even a good idea? Because you couldn't make a choice for yourself, you made copies of you to do the stuff you wanted to do with everypony so they didn't feel left out?
That's a very noble intent, yes, but the execution leaves something strongly desir--STOP EATING MY HAIR! For the LAST time, it does not taste like toothpaste! I don't care if yours tastes like cotton candy, eat yours and not mine!
Gods help the Pinkies that are with Luna right now. I haven't heard her since the pink clone invasion started, and usually that is a very bad sign given her loudmouth tendencies. I can only hope she is safe and out of harm's way, because your clones are relentless.
Wait, I am hearing something. It's a... marching band?
Oh dear gods, they found the music room! And unlike your wonderful one-mare band, they're all playing the instruments terribly! I haven't heard music this terrible in... well, two days since the nobles sung a song about how saving funds is fun, in reaction to some ponies recently evicted from their apartments.
Cuppa offered the evicted ponies free coffee. Shows how much of a heart he's got to make up for the heartless.
Anyway, I now have a musical massacre to try and fix before things get out of hoof. If you're home, stay home. Things are going to get ugly in my castle halls tonight, and you don't want to be caught in the crossfire.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Alright, you cheap knockoffs of the Horror of Ponyville, you want some fun?!
Good, because we're about to play a game. And I play for keeps.
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...This is going to be EXTREMELY Cathartic for Celestia isn't it?
You know, this letter can be summed up in one sentence: Just what in the actual fuck were you thinking, Pinkie?
So much fun! Thanks for sharing with us!
And on that day Celestia's Crime Coefficient went up by 300 points...
Wait, Celestia's not Criminally Asymptomatic is she?
I would like to see Lunas perspective on some of these letters. but this was a fun one.
Luna! I'll draw them away! Pinkie Pie hates me!
Luna: *lowers bazooka* Aye! We shall eliminate the stragglers and our newly perfected Kage Bunshin No Jutsu to herd them! *Weaves signs. Several clones appear next to her*
... How do you weave hand signs without fingers?!
Luna(s): We are very talented and watch much Neighruto!
... fair enough
And there was much ninja action, one notable thing was the summoning of a Ursa Major by Luna.
But the royal bakers have been given much therapy and compensation pay.
5781599 I'm pretty sure the quill Celestia uses writes out everything she says, but only what SHE says and no
onepony elsein short, she talks to her quill, but it doesn't turn off when she talks to others
5781599
Maybe it's like that one from Harry Potter and the goblet of fire? I seem to recall that she asked it to "scratch that"
5781509 funnny thing is, luna has demonstrated the ability to make clones before-remember the shadowbolts? Yeah.
Okay, this letter was hilarious. Imagine all of the random antics that the Pinkie clones would pull off with Celestia and in the Canterlot castle.
Also, Celestia should deliver the clones to Strider Hiryu. I'm sure he has a proper method of using the clones for his own purpose.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/11/21/158798__safe_pinkie+pie_animated_too+many+pinkie+pies_clones_fun+fun+fun_strider+hiryu_legion_marvel+vs+capcom.gif
5781373
Celestia is going to enjoy this way more than she should.
I can only imagine Celestia pumping a shotgun while wearing sun glasses at the last sentence. XD
Oh kay lets get this over with ... Oh my is that a member of nobility. The lot of them is now being used as? Rethink this is this good for the common pony or not.
5781463 Nice a psychopass reference
first i was then i was
5782724 You looking forward to the post-season-2 movie as much as I am?
5782863 Haven't watched it alot. I just knew enought to get the reference. ^^
5781599
This was answered already. Yes, she has a quill with a dictation spell on it.
5782139
i.imgur.com/Ms1GZH2.png
Next letter:
Dear Everygriffon.
We have a lot of fresh meat available due to an embarrassing communication mistake. With the Royal chefs.
We won't eat it all but we don't want to waste it. So we offer it in bulk at a reasonable price.
Many cuts and pieces are ready for consumption right away. There's a lot of grinded meat too. The chefs went a bit wild at first.
So much blood. Several hundred gallons, you see. Ready for use.
Don't mind the fact that there's some pink hair here and there. They used pink dye (don't ask me why, no clue) before going to work.
5781373
and that's why along with the parasprites, discord was released early.
5781793 Well that more seem to be nightmare moon splitter her self three ways
Star ponies two: attack fo the pinkie clones.
5782992
5782992 24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcs786mmuQ1r30s7to1_500.gif
I'm sure there's a fic or SFM animation for that somewhere that answers this question.
5781373
KILL THE CLONES!
Here Celly, use my 50 millimeter machine gun, its more fun than they can handle.
5803528 FUN LEVELS ARE AT MAXIMUM!
fc01.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2014/093/4/1/sweetie_bot_by_ende26-d7cxm5i.jpg
Those aren't Pinkie clones, Celestia. They are the full converts to The Cult of Pinkism.
FUN!
5781463 I actually get that reference.
Celestia should have been glad for this incident, though. It would have allowed her to test her contingency plans for the Day of Pinkie. But she didn't. Instead...
5782126
Now I know what's in that 'pink slime' that gets added to ground beef.
Wish I could have seen Celestia slaughter the Pinkie Clones. That sounds fun.
.........I'm beginning to get the feeling that brutus is more than a tool to assault annoying people to celestia......she DID say it's been a long time since a male had the balls to approach her.......
I think Brutus is going to have had one HELL of a workout by the time Celestia is done and the cleaning staff is going to have a HELL of a mess on their hands to clean up.
How Many Pinkies Does It Take to Screw with a Princess?
Just one.