Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

Rarity Takes Everything In Manehatten, Even the Carpet and Drapes

Dear Rarity,

First off, congratulations on winning that little fashion show of yours. Your inspired work in using various hotel sheets and fixtures to create an ensemble as homely and cozy as one of those lavish rooms is exquisite, if this catalog is accurate. Really, it's quite creative.

But I also received something else from Mayor Plaster of Manehatten: a bill he forwarded from the hotel you stayed at, listing off thousands of bits in damages to the hotel room. Torn-up carpet, missing drapes and frilly bedsheets, even strips of wallpaper, towels, and scented toilet paper rolls had been taken from the room with reckless abandon. The room itself was beyond mere salvation that could be solved with a little TLC--it requires a complete overhaul just to look presentable again.

Your apologetic note and bag of compensating bits left at the door was a noble effort at saying you're sorry for trashing their room harder than a rock star, but unfortunately, it wasn't quite enough. Luckily for you, I've learned from enough experience and damage reports that when any of you do something or go somewhere, stuff usually gets broken or destroyed along the way.

So I've set aside a small fund separate from the treasury, specifically devoted to whatever mishaps or destructive forces come about as a result of your arrival. I've taken to calling it the "Harbinger of Harmony" fund. Surely you see why. Anyway, should another situation arise where someone in your group pulls an "oopsie" or "whoopsy-doodle" and something falls apart, this little fund will cover all those expenses for repairs.

Assuming, of course, that there's money to cover it. I'll add my own in small installments every week, but it won't cover everything if these damages add up. That is where you and the others come in. Feel free to add as much or as little as you like to it in whatever frequency you desire, but do note that if a bill comes in and the fund doesn't cover it, I'll cover what I can with what's left of the fund and forward the rest to you to pay off in what I hope will be a timely and appropriate manner.

I trust there are no objections. Financial responsibility is quite the burden, but surely it is one you and the others can readily manage. That, or you could just not break anything and use this fund for personal vacations. I'm not picky, but just be responsible.

Best Regards,

Princess Celestia

P.S. If it's not too much trouble, I'd like to buy a set of your Hotel Chic line. I want to see some nobles' jaws drop, and it miiight give you a headstart on the fund. Your decision on what you do with the profits, though.

...okay, fine. Two sets. Luna wants one as well. You know, to look like twinsies.

Comments

[TDR]

'twinsies'

That is a fun word to say.

[Glowing Ember]

so is twinsters

[Charcoal Quill]

Your inspired work in using various hotel sheets and fixtures to create an ensemble as homely and cozy as one of those lavish rooms is exquisite, if this catalog is accurate.

A quick Google search tells me that "homely" means "1. (of a person) unattractive in appearance," and "2. (of a place or surroundings) simple but cozy and comfortable, as in one's own home." The word "homey", meanwhile, has the definition "(of a place or surroundings) pleasantly comfortable and cozy"... I suppose either one could work in this context, but as is, one still has to wonder if Celestia's deliberately paying Rarity a backhanded compliment...

[Pankrazius]

Huzzah. Another letter.

*read* *chuckle*

twin...sies. and then

[silvadel]

I always did wonder what happened to the trashed room... I mean Rarity did destroy the curtains etc...

[MythrilMoth]

It IS weird that Rarity just...just got away with turning a hotel room into a fashion line.

[Aurora Dimmet]

5890690

The word the author wanted to use was "comely", the opposite of homely.

[JediWaffles]

5890721
you know what else is weird? your stories. The fact that Sunset wasn't arrested.

[FanOfMostEverything]

5890721
Manehattan: Where alicorns can't get cabs and designers can trash hotel rooms. What a town.

[TrackingTarget]

Luna wants one as well. You know, to look like twinsies.

I'm not sure why that's so funny to me. I think it's the matter-of-fact tone, helps the reader remember that this is the immortal Sun Princess saying this.

Also by this point I imagine it won't be long before every time Celestia gets a letter or visit from a city official (any city), she just cuts them off with "which one and what did she do this time?"

[Hillbe]

Between Spikes burbs and Raritys brain farts and: Twilights OCD and Pinkies ADHDand Rainbows Booms and Applejuggs buckin the only one who does less damage is Fluttershy Oops! Bevertons gnawing & Harrys pooping scratch that......

bitts is bitts

[Nightmare Wolf]

I think you should fix this chapter, because seriously, taking public money to fix destruction caused by royal friendsies, it looks like something Blueblood would do. Let this fund be out of specifically their taxes only (and ad reminder that Tia rises their taxes because of that).
I'm just saiyan.

[Pinklestia]

5890962

Remember that the girls actually don’t get paid to save the world, well maybe Twilight does, but first it was for being a librarian and now she probably gets a fund for being a princess.

Whats a bit of money to keep the heroes out of jail anyway? Would you prefer to have to give them a royal pardon AFTER the disaster happens? Think on how much money would it be to fix things if the villains actually had a day or two to make them plans come true.

[Pinklestia]

5890721

Most of the money of the new fashion line probably went to pay that, remember that no matter how much money Rarity seems to make, she still lives in the same place she works.

[Nightmare Wolf]

5891015 but you're talking about fighting villains, saving lives. Destruction of hotel room was for Rarity's own benefit, and caused by whole group, and as such, should be covered by their own money. Soldiers aren't fined for collateral damage during firefights, but when one gets crazy and wrecks a pub, the government won't cover his ass in this. Same thing should apply here.
If I was Equestrian citizen, I would be against using my taxes to cover someones shit, even if they're national heroes, because it could lead to spoiling them. It could end up with them going to random pedestrian and saying "I'm a hero, give me your money". I now Twi and other wouldn't do such a thing, but they can't be sure, and still I would be against covering for their 'fun time' with my money, instead of building new roads, developing new technology or giving rise to the budgets of orphanages.

[Mooncalf]

I suspect that there are a lot of ponies, mostly in Ponyville but all over Equestria as well, who are getting fed up with how these "heroes" get away with every disaster they're ultimately responsible for to begin with, simply because they've saved the world a few times. Primarily Bon Bon, for certain reasons.

"Karma Houdinis" indeed.

[Sigmacipher]

..okay, fine. Two sets. Luna wants one as well. You know, to look like twinsies.

That line made my day.

[Tired Old Man]

5890690
5890725

You know, it was weird trying to define a clothing ensemble modeled after a hotel's interior design. I figured homely was close enough to fit the bill, but I wasn't aware of the first definition of it at the time.

Still, I don't feel like changing it. It sits in an interesting spot where it could be a compliment or an insult depending on how one interprets the context and definition of it, so really it's your choice as to which you believe it is. Is it unattractive, or good enough to remind one of the comforts of a hotel... or both?

5890962

There was a slight miswording in the letter. I changed it a bit so that should address this issue.

Celestia set aside a separate fund not attached to the treasury, one in which she is adding her own savings to in small installments. Not a single bit of the public's money is involved in any way with this fund.

[BlueYoshi]

Luckily for you, I've learned from enough experience and damage reports that when any of you do something or go somewhere, stuff usually gets broken or destroyed along the way.

Like that time when Applejack caused a bunny stampede in S01E04, when Twilight lost her mind and cast a "Want It, Need It" spell in S02E03, when Pinkie Pie decided to have fun with the Mirror Pool in S03E03, or when the mane six explored the princesses' former castle and caused a lot of havoc in S04E03. Yeah, things get outta hand whenever the mane six are involved, but everything somehow gets better in the end.

[Nightmare Wolf]

5891154 that changes things. I accept your answer.

[aduck]

5890671
I said it out loud, and found you were right.

[MythrilMoth]

5891022 So does the rest of Ponyville. That's not unusual for small towns, especially in a more rustic setting.

[Singed_Wire_Writes]

5890907 Actually, according to RLYoshi, Pinkie has mania.

[Poet Knight]

"Harbinger of Harmony" fund
It seriously took her this long to set that up? (Love the name and concept though!)

[JediWaffles]

5894724
But this is the first mention of her trying.

[Dark Star2014]

5896669 Easy...do a voice impression of Ben Stiller for 24 straight hours.

[Chimp]

I wonder how much the weather factory will hurt said funds.

[Bojack H]

6057066

To be fair, if they didn't store drop sensitive explosives in tiny glass jars and build their factory out of compressible building materials, the whole place might not have been destroyed so thuroughly

[Blast]

What, nothing on Suri?

[Coyotek4]

FWIW, the first episode of an early season of Project: Runway (3 or 4, I think), the challenge was basically to do what Rarity did.

[Dashie04]

I wonder where Celestia gets that money, Equestria might be in more debt than America at this point (no small feat, you'd have to try to get that far in debt.)

[KvAT]

9526967
You'd be surprised at the sheer monetary gullibility of ponies, even nobles who pride themselves in swindling the common pony. Those parties the nobilities made, in honour of "charity"? Well, they're truthfully just laundering money around each other.

Now, guess who gets revenue from their transfer taxes? The only bank large enough to handle their transactions, of course, which is coincidentally state-owned.