Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

Most Wanted: Loose Apples, Raw and Unbarreled

Dear Sheriff Silverstar,

I thank you for this report regarding the vandal that's been ruining rodeos in towns across Equestria. It took many years to catch that pesky Trouble Shoes, and he's been on my watch list ever since his hoofwork ruined the rodeo here in Canterlot. Never have my nobles been so flustered in all their years of living here--who would have thought the chicken coop breaking open would turn them all into chickens too?

Except... well, he's not much of a vandal these days, is he? Now he's part of those rodeos he's dreamed of being in! He even learned how to use his talent appropriately thanks to Applestack's little sister and the other two crusaders, if I'm reading this report correctly. How very constructive of them... all things considered.

I digress. Now that Trouble Shoes has been reformed as a rodeo clown, and a VERY good one, would it be too much to ask he make an appearance at the next Canterlot rodeo coming up soon? It's not that I think he'd miss it for the world anyway, but this is just a formality. If he's going to wreck the rodeo again, I just want some advance notice so I can follow the action of nobles fleeing for their lives.

...actually, if he's free next week, I wouldn't mind having him as a bit of entertainment for some nobles I'm giving a bit of my personal time. They had the gumption to think that I have no understanding of class, and that I cannot be entertained through reasonable means without getting blitzed like a reindeer.

If Trouble Shoes says yes, I can safely assure them that I know all about having a good time without getting all peach-faced on peach schnapps. And I have a good feeling he'll say yes once those rodeo damage bills pile up on him shortly, so this is really an offer he can't afford to refuse. For discretionary purposes, I will further discuss what that means with him in person. Don't want any corrupt moochers on this deal. You understand.

If not, I'll figure something else out with Luna. She knows her way around entertainment these days, so I have nothing to worry about. Probably. If they get under Luna's skin like they did mine...

Er, do pass along this royal invitation with haste, Silverstar. Who knows, with how diligent you've been this past year, you might even get a gold star for your efforts. Think about it--a two-star sheriff! It's not three-star, but you're not saving the world from some fancily-dressed desperado here. I have to be fair.

Sincerely,

Princess Celestia

...Luna, please tell me that rainbow afro isn't serious. I know you took a look at professional clowning for the schoolchildren, but this is ridiculous.

What? Me, entertaining through clowning? Luna, they already have a good jester in you! What could I possibly add?

Oy... alright. I'll follow your lead. Just be careful with painting my face. I don't want to give the children a colorful vocabulary lesson later.

Yes, I'm fine with glitter too. Only a little bit though--don't go crazy and dump the whole bottle on me.

Comments

[BookLovingGuineaPig]

Is that wig the same as the one mayor mare wore on nightmare night?

[Tired Old Man]

6085413

"...Luna, you didn't scare this wig off of her at the last Nightmare Night, did you?"

"She didn't come back for it, so... finders keepers?"

"...This wig better not have head lice. You hear me?!"

[Seether00]

Celestia just wants to seduce Trouble Shoes. Finally a stallion who can look her in the eye.

[RazDelacroix]

And that is the story of how Celestia formed Gem and the Miragemares!

[BlueYoshi]

Trouble Shoes scaring the pants out of the nobles. Oh, man. That would look glorious.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Well, Trouble Shoes said he'd have to settle his accounts. Given the damages over the years, a satisfactory royal audience may very well be the only way he can.

[Pinklestia]

6085793

True.

[usp211816]

You have to be careful with glitter, Tia and Luna got some in their manes and tails centuries ago and it just wont come out.

[michaelb958]

6085575 FYI, head lice die after about a day without a head. How long ago was Nightmare Night?

[Konami]

Oy... alright. I'll follow your lead.

Maybe "Oh... alright"? As much as I love the idea of Celestia saying "Oy", I somehow get the feeling that's not actually what you meant.

Another great letter! I can't wait to see what's coming for the next couple, particularly this next one - there are so many things Celestia could be writing about, so many ponies she could be writing to... the possibilities are nigh on endless! (Or... neigh on endless? I'll show myself out.)

[Nikita]

Yes, I'm fine with glitter too. Only a little bit though--don't go crazy and dump the whole bottle on me.

*accidentally dumps the whole bottle on you*

[JediWaffles]

6087638
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140426021657/mlp/images/archive/d/d7/20141211055151!Rainbow_Dash_covered_in_glitter_EG2.png

[DragonMaus]

The post script just made me think of this: orig08.deviantart.net/0902/f/2013/351/5/0/wet_mane_celestia_by_arvaus-d6ycrix.png

6087638
"accidentally"

[Doctor REDACTED]

Luna : ok * dumps 2 bottles of glitter on her*

[Zubric]

Wonder if that one line abut lcows was a refnece to the one Freinds is magic side cmic with the two sisters.

[Wellwater]

6086223 Nearly everything dies after a day without a head…

[michaelb958]

7294303 Not sure if meant to be funny. If so, relax, it got a chuckle. If not, I meant 'without a scalp to live on'.

[Boulder]

6317666 Only 2 bottles? More like a bucket.

[Navydivea]

6085575