Equestria is for Everyone, Boys and Girls
Sunset Shimmer,
I write this to you in the hopes that it has been delivered through the portal safely to your location, wherever that may be. If this ends up in someone else's hoov--ahem, hands, whoever you might be, do me a favor and find a high school girl with the hair and complexion that reminds you of grilled cheese and tomato soup. Her name is right there up top. Find her, give this to her, and don't read a word of the rest of this. I mean it.
Now then, Sunset. Your actions were quite unforgivable. Stealing an Element of Harmony, one of the few things that help maintain balance in this world, is the equivalent of stealing Pinkie's pet Gummy. I'm not joking. That sort of happened once, and she table-flipped the town looking for him thinking he was taken. Turns out he wasn’t stolen--just buried in her hair again.
Anyway, I’m glad to know that my student succeeded where I had failed, for while I'd taught you much about magic and the importance of humility and respectful behavior in the face of multiple nobles, I did not teach you the value of friendship. Instead I taught you of the proper ways to be a princess, and what was the result of that? A costly mistake, and one I still regret to this day. This resolution my student and you have found is a small consolation prize, but truly, I wish we could pick up where we left off someday under better, more controlled circumstances. It is doubtful, but possible. We shall see where the road takes us.
Also, I owe you an apology. Your previous belongings here in Equestria kind of got buried underneath piles and piles of miscellaneous paperwork related to my day court proceedings. I intended on keeping those things safe and sound in the case of your eventual return into what would have been a welcoming embrace, but life has a funny way of suddenly occupying my time with sheer and utter nonsense. You know that.
I dug them out, but they smelled a bit musty, and looked quite dusty. But worst of all, some of those things were fragile, and crushed under the weight of the paper. Your diorama detailing the functions of the Ponyville dam and why its destruction would spell doom for the town, something I planned on showing Mayor three years ago but never got around to, is now completely destroyed. Now I have a scare-tactic post-disaster diorama to show her which... actually might be a better idea for ensuring the dam operates at peak condition.
Okay, bad example. There’s… uh… OH! The snow globe I bought when we visited the Frostpeaks has a big crack at the top of the mountain inside the globe. This might be salvageable if you don't put it somewhere where it'll fall a good distance. This peak would put an eye out, and it very well could. Be careful with this if you want it back.
Your art and sketches are fine, much to my relief, as is Mr. Snuggle Wuggle. He's been missing your 'huggles', which kind of looked like chokeholds to me, but you loooved this doll, and I guess he was fine with it. I'd be more than happy to give him back as soon as you want him--he's been giving me the stink eye for a long time, and it's quite unnerving.
When or if you return, be it through some sort of correspondence or your physical self, know that you are welcome, and what's left of your stuff is waiting here for you. I still hope we can remain friends.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
And to whoever read this to the end that wasn’t Sunset, I don’t know who you are, but I promise you this: you will have a nightmare tonight the likes of which you’ve never seen. I personally can’t make that happen…
But I know somepony who can.
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Bring it on.
5833012
Thanks! I've been trying very hard to make this entertaining while still keeping the canon Tia everyone knows. It's been a hard balance at a few points in this series, but I'm happy you're enjoying it!
Ha!
Whoops. I'm not sorry.
But Celestia can send you to the MOON if she wants. Where you'll die from lack of oxygen, water, and food.
Hammerspace hair anyone?
5835921
Well done, dear sir, well done.
But... I have one concern now. As I read this letter and I am unfortunately not being Sunset Shimmer, will Luna haunt me this night?
Aaaanyway. Don't believe in this cursed-letter-nonsense... *going to prepare the heavy dreamcatchers*
I probably imagine it, but i get the feeling Celly try to be calm but there's some nervous "mom" vibe going on. I almost expected Celly to say something along the lines of "and don't forget your scarf when its cold outside".
Oh Luna...hello. No, this is pretty normal for my dreams. Yeah, the crash into a tree did kind of hurt, but the decapitation via windshield was relatively painless.
No, I'm sure I'll be fine in a minute or two. I might even have a good dream for once where my body doesn't disgust me to the point of suicide.
Oh come on, cheer up. It's not like you caused the accident; I drove off the road intentionally.
Ah, here we go...still male. Damn. Hey, could you do me a favor and pass me the knife to your left? No, the dull one...
Huh. Sunset was intentionally trained as a regent, in preparation for a possible ascension. That makes perfect sense. Very clever. I was half-expecting a letter from Principal Celestia for this one, but this worked quite well.
Ooh! Goodie! I love nightmares!
LATER THAT NIGHT:
Oh, come on Luna! We didn't even get to the good part yet! Don't be such a baby!
Now I eagerly await the Rainbow Rocks response. Heh, alliteration.
I really liked how Tia slowly started to sound more like a mother talking to her daughter then she did a teacher talking to her student as this letter went on. It's really touching to see how much she still cares for Sunset after everything that's happened between them.
I think this one is my favorite letter so far, and I have to thank you for this line
because now I have the image in my head of a little Sunset hugging a teddy bear after nodding off during a magic leson with Tia, which is the most adorable thing I could possible imagine.
5835921
Congrats on being featured! I love this story. You totally deserved this!
Dear Princess Celestia,
Why do all of your students go bat$h!t nuts?
Twilight - OCD
Sunset Shimmer - megalomaniac
Starlight Glimmer, come on, she's got to be one of your ex-students - imposed communism
Yours truly,
Dapper Guy
P.S. Can I come drinking with you sometime?
Now I want to see an art of Pinkie table-flipping Ponyville, nay, all of Equestria, just for the shits and giggles
5837030 Well, yeah. This is the internet. This is the place where people go to create whatever sick twisted things they would get judged for IRL.
Here, have a weirdness.
So if anyone does have nightmares the night after reading this we could confirm Luna's and Sunbutt's existences.
Honest, Twi leaving a pony strangled in another world seems like a jerkass move to me, hence why I don’t' think Equestria Girls and the sequel are canon.
5835978
The typical nightmare scenarios? My mind just treats them as entertainment. Blame far too many years (starting at a very early age) of weird horror and scifi.
if Luna can really psychoanalyze me, she'll realize its the opposite scenarios (awesome happy stuff) my mind and body treat as nightmarish. Which will shock me awake. Probably not what she's looking for.
Presumably, the princesses would want to torture me, and the worst dreams are tedium. Playing that video game doing nothing but mook fights the entire night, for example.
5837747 The entire G3 series on infinite loop then?
5835949 What? It's canon (or cannon
)! I thought everpony knew that....
5837431 Hmmm... Challenge Accepted!
5837431
Problem is, Tia might not have written this...
however, does she read it?
5837542
Sunset wasn't stranded. That'd mean she was abandoned by Twi. She's basically serving penance, and learning the magic of friendship while doing so. Probably woulda come got her at the next natural portal-cycle if she wanted to come home still.
5837053
That's not weirdness, SexualLobster is a genius. D:
5835921
takes us.*
5838164
Is still exile. Who made Twilight Sparkle, Jury, judge and executioner? Who made her the law? Sunset should have been brought to Equestria to face trial. I think Sunset would have been prefer to be a unicorn in jail than a magicless being on Earth. Plus a lot of things could happen in two years and a half.
Twilight Sparkle did not really think things trough, what is Sunset did not have a magic diary or had left it back in Equestria?
5838185
She's a princess. She is, by definition, all of that. So... the whole 'Poor Sunset' spiel doesn't really work? Twilight saved her soul and her life. If the Princess of Friendship wants to have her subject continue her self-imposed exile (she escaped through the mirror on her own), and study friendship while doing so, it is entirely at her hooves to make that decision. Hell, the other members of the Crown likely would have done the same.
The portal would have always opened up again sometime later, and as I said, she would have been welcome back if she didn't want to stay, no doubt. Also skips the need for a court trial, because that would -certainly- land her in prison for her crimes, where now she's already served punishment for those crimes due to Twilight, and I imagine can no longer be legally held accountable for them.
5838198
We don't know how many duties Twi had taken by then, while technically she had the authority, the law still dictated that Sunset Shimmer should have to stand trial in Equestria. Twilight Sparkle just decided to exile her without trial. That's an abuse of authority one would not think the Embodiment of the magic of friendship would do.
Plus is not like all of Twi ideas are great, want me to give you a list?
5838221
I have a feeling you're just here to bash on Twilight and defend Sunset (who doesn't need defending), due to rejecting perfectly plausible logic in favor of "We don't know", which means if we're going that route we truly will never know and there's not a point to this any further. In which case, you are hereby free to continue pointlessly complaining. I had thought you were just confused on the issue and stepped in to assist, but that probably wasn't the case.
My body is ready
5838164 A very weird genius. I absolutely love his videos!
5838433
My wife and I love quoting them at each other and wait for new ones to be posted eagerly. The odd looks in mixed company is worth the powerful inside joke.
I love the closing lines of this installment. I can honestly imagine Celestia saying those words.
5837747 When you've had to deal with suicidal thoughts since the age of twelve, they kind of lose their impact. Oh, another vision of crashing my car intentionally. I survived doing it accidentally with no seatbelt, so there's no guarantee that intentional will do more than wreck a car...
There's a portion of the population, less than 1%, of which roughly 20% commit suicide before the age of twenty. Leelah Alcorn was one of us.
It's not easy being transgender. It's not a choice either. When just existing as a male makes you want to take a knife and make a shish kebab out of your built-in meat and potatoes to stop the testosterone and erections that just feel undefinably and fundamentally wrong...
Transmen have it just as bad what with the unstoppable bleeding and the curves they don't want, but 'women' are allowed to get away with wearing men's clothing without a second glance while a 'man' wearing a skirt gets mocked at least and risks sexual assault or murder on a daily basis if they can't pass.
Ummmm Celestia? You do realize that you not only have no way of knowing if someone else read the letter but also that both Luna's and your magic can't reach into technicolor world and doesn't even work in technicolor world.
So in a nutshell:
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/913/758/a12.jpg
5839193 It's not even mine.
College humor flamewar:
5835900
Heh, you didn't step up to the challenge eh Luna. No nightmares last night. Too afraid I will latch onto your dreamstream and follow you back to Equestria?
5835909
This happened with my Dad.
This dude stole another guys van and sold it to my dad as his own. When the police came, they return the van to the man and my dad was reimbursed his money. No problems.
5835909
Although she did enslave the town. That's gonna be tough to fight.
5837875
Phew. Yeah, that'd probably do it.
As regards to the Hair Hammer Space, one story I read recently mentioned her stuffing a chainsaw back into her hair (for comedic effect). I like to imagine that scene with the chainsaw still audibly started and her hair bouncing in time.
cdn.womensunitedonline.com/fabulousfoods.com/articles/1296588692_grilled-cheese-and-tomato-soup.jpg
Seems about right..
Challenge accepted. I haven't had a nightmare in almost two decades.
Also, I like to think that Pinkie, being the eldritch abomination that she is, table-flipped the entire town in one piece.
Doh! ... I read it to the end. Well shoot, tonight's going to suck.
5835944 Except that Luna managed to make cookies and cake out of nothing but moon rocks, moon dust, and her own tears. As well as managed to create a new distilled liquor, Moonshine
5899855 Eeyup.
Oops.
Bring it on. I haven't had a nightmare in months, come at me bro.
5836323 If you get an invite, see if you can get a plus one, kay? Also....pretty sure the reason Starlight went nuts beacause she wasn't chosen. You know, the whole everyone is equal thing, sounds like a lot of salt to me.
6113237 That's because the Pink accepts you as one of her disciples.
5841525 Title and author, please.
5839476 Who said it was Luna? The Endless Pink is far stronger outside of Equestria. She's probably taking her time to make you sweat.
Wait, if Celestia is going to have Luna give me the worst nightmare of my life for reading this... and considering some of my nightmares, that would be something.......
I pledge my soul to Pinkie Pie! Protect me in my hour of need, Pink Master!
6568460
That would make more sense if she wasn't more powerful than pretty much anypony. With that in mind, her obsession with equality might be induced by the fear of the isolation brought by her greatness. Pyrrha had the same fear in RWBY, although she handled it much better.