Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

The Real Royal Problem is Not in This Castle

Dear Starlight Glimmer,

Let me get one thing straight right off the bat. The unicorn that broke time somehow can’t fix a spell with an arbitrary 24-hour time limit? Preposterous! I’m sure even Luna and I could have figured out a way to fix the spell were it not for the fact that we were busy running a tight schedule and either needed a speedy solution, or we spend the time doing the other’s work.

Since you were quick on the draw on the not-so-speedy solution for a problem I suspect you could have fixed in less than ten minutes (your progress in magic and friendship seems to suggest you have a knack for efficiency), I’d call you phenomenally lazy in that regard. And also forward, since you forgot to ask before you cast the spell.

Consent, Starlight Glimmer. You really need to learn that word going forward, because you have a serious problem with that.

Now, was it the right call in the end? Yes, though that’s no excuse for your terrible execution of it. But I will admit that getting a taste of what my sister deals with every night isn’t easy. She monitors the entirety of Equestria, and I only handled two nightmares that took up the whole evening! Luna had a great laugh at my inefficiency, though I had my laugh after reading the afternoon paper.

We probably still have issues to work out in that department, though I wish to discuss one particular image of your nightmare: Daybreaker.

Starlight, what in your mind makes you think I would turn into a snarky, holier-than-thou witch of a pony that talks down to others like she knows everything? When would I ever mimic such a ludicrous vision like that? Although I would look like this to anypony that viewed me through a jaded lens, I’m better than that. So are you.

Keep growing, Starlight. And for the love of the gods, ASK before you do anything rash like a loose-cannon friendship policemare.

Regards,

Princess Celestia

P.S. Seriously, Daybreaker is the name you came up with?? I mean sure, it’s your dream and all, but it wouldn’t kill you come up with a name that’s a little less like what an adolescent would think is dark, cool and edgy.

~~~

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

Remember when we had that conversation back when you were busy imagining all sorts of worst-case scenarios happening to Starlight Glimmer? Remember how I told you that if you still had that kind of worry, maybe consider some letter correspondence for progress reports?

Today, instead of you trying to reach out to Glimmer through a normal means of communication, you went off and cast a Big Brother spell. At first I thought it odd how unusually hyperactive you were as soon as our little tiff got closure, but upon helping with cleaning the guest room, I noticed a very peculiar ballet dancer music box thrown in a drawer like an annoying alarm clock.

Then it hit me. You couldn’t even let her solve a problem alone without barely an hour of supervision from you, even on a problem related to Luna and myself. We’re supposedly ponies that are so good at being a perfect image in your mind, you forgot how many flubs and slip-ups we’ve made over the course of our rule and still continue to make today, Twilight. The sooner you rid yourself of this silly fantasy of yours, the sooner you'll get over the disillusion.

Meanwhile, Starlight Glimmer had a very rough start, but there is no doubt she put us back on the right track to avoid disaster. She did not need you to add your two bits to the situation and heighten her fears to where they had me fighting some wacky, tacky version of myself last night. I did not need to deal with that nonsense at all, and I’d bet one of my fifteen crowns I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t stuck your nose in business that wasn’t yours to deal with in the first place.

In conclusion, have some faith your recently-graduated student isn’t going to destroy everything she touches and leave her alone. As far as I can tell, she’s plenty capable of doing what she can to resolve problems without your help, and barring that she’s absolutely capable of steering ponies toward the path of resolution and reconciliation. If you really need to look for an example of that, guess who’s available to volunteer their personal experience.

Hoping You Don’t Stalk Your Student Beyond Today,

Princess Celestia

Hello, Luna. Something on your mind?

Yes, I’ve been thinking about that nightmare too. It’s quite difficult to remove the image of facing ourselves like that, especially given our unique situation.

I’m not too worried though. They’re still quite pure. Sometimes spastic and typically a much less horrifying nightmare, but pure nonetheless.

Sister, you of all ponies should know I’m prepared for the worst. But I have a good feeling that with them, the worst will never come.

...Say, did we have a fourth mountain? Right there, the one that’s...moving right in front of the castle.

No, you’re not going crazy. That’s a lot of dishes, Luna.

SUNNY, for five minutes I’m pretending you’re NOT on the summit of dish mountain. I am pretending that all of these Dishets you found are lingering figments of my sleep-deprived imagination!

Luna, pinching will not help me right n—OW!

Comments

[ShadowLDrago]

I will admit, Daybreaker doesn't have as much punch to it as Nightmare Moon. It sounds like the name of someone who'd managed to break Celestia's back or something.

[Pentarctagon]

Yes, consent is something that Starlight desperately needs to figure out. That bit was the only part I disliked about the episode.

[clubbzz]

I agree that the whole nightmare part was fulled by Twilights actions. And while it was nice to see the neurotic Twilight of old, Celestia is right, she needs to get over this quickly.

And as for "Daybreaker", while there are plenty of better choices, most of them have been used in fanfictions over the years, so Hasbro studios was limited in what they could choose.

[Coyotek4]

8226018

And as for "Daybreaker", while there are plenty of better choices, most of them have been used in fanfictions over the years, so Hasbro studios was limited in what they could choose.

My thoughts exactly.

I don't know the Fic this name came from (I read it on TVTropes), but I'm particular to the name 'Corona Sun'. Seems to strike a good balance.

(Also ... "Escape from Dish Mountain", anyone?)

[Crack-Fic Casey]

You know what, I'm taking a stand. I think Daybreaker is a terrific name, and I'll stand by it, especially when I have names like Midnight Sparkle to look down as demonstrably worse.

[Veryveryfluttershy]

8226018

And as for "Daybreaker", while there are plenty of better choices, most of them have been used in fanfictions over the years, so Hasbro studios was limited in what they could choose.

Solar Flare ftw.

[Coin Drop]

Spike already told Twilight she needed to give Starlight some space. Nice to see she took her assistants advice to heart.

Starlight, what in your mind makes you think I would turn into a snarky, holier-than-thou witch of a pony that talks down to others like she knows everything?

From listening to Luna.

[dshadow14]

Daybreaker is better than what the Enterplay cards called Evil Celestia: "Nightmare Star". That doesn't even sound daytime related.

[clubbzz]

8226049

8226034
Both are good names, both are taken by fanfictions. Shame too.

[FoxMcCloud7921]

Wait so...if that entire scene was based on a nightmare, then neither Daybreaker nor her name are officially Canon?

[Dragonzero]

You know what? I thought Twilight was freaking because she did not want to fight Celestia and Luna. If they were to brake out in a fight with magic. of course I picture that fight like it was something from Dragon Ball.

[MythrilMoth]

have some faith your recently-graduated student isn’t going to destroy everything she touches

....we ARE talking about Starlight Glimmer here, right?

[BlueYoshi]

I really loved "A Royal Problem." We get to see what the princesses do in their daily lives although the roles have been swapped. I am kind of wondering how the Cutie Map chose Starlight to confront the issue between the royal sisters, though. In my opinion, I think the Map chooses which pony(s) has/have the best abilities to deal with a specific issue. It seems that the Map chose Starlight instead of Twilight or the rest of the mane six, because:

-She has the ability to confront a problem directly despite the risks associated with it. Twilight's reaction to Starlight's plan confirms that she doesn't have the guts to do so. I dunno about the rest of the mane six, but I don't think they would do the same thing Starlight would have done.
-She has the ability to remove or switch ponies' cutie marks.

One thing that does bug me is about how Luna calls Daybreaker by her name when she has never seen her before. I would like to see someone write a little fanfic about that.

[alfonso_rd_33]

8226416
That seems to imply that Daybreaker Might as well not come from the Brain of Starlight Glimmer on Twilight Sparklerine, but from our derp beloved sunbutted princess... and luna might have offered assistance beyond the scenes on several of the Dorkbreaker episodes Sunbuttlestia had...

[FanOfMostEverything]

I remain convinced that Starlight made up that twenty-four hour time limit to force the princesses to go along with her plan.

I did not need to deal with that nonsense at all, and I’d bet one of my fifteen crowns I wouldn’t have if you hadn’t stuck your nose in business that wasn’t yours to deal with in the first place.

On the other hand, if she hadn't wound up Starlight, that nightmare might have never happened, and Celestia might not have gotten a proper taste of how hard it is to manage pony psyches. Kind of a trade-off there.

And I do love Celestia's blithe moment of complete self-unawareness. It's always nice when new canon dovetails with an existing story, and this is a sterling example.

[DualKitsune]

Starlight, what in your mind makes you think I would turn into a snarky, holier-than-thou witch of a pony that talks down to others like she knows everything?

I don't know maybe she read a letter or something.

[Tired Old Man]

8226540

On the other hand, if she hadn't wound up Starlight, that nightmare might have never happened, and Celestia might not have gotten a proper taste of how hard it is to manage pony psyches. Kind of a trade-off there.

I wouldn't necessarily say that. Celestia would have spent more time dealing with Luna's psyche instead, and that dream was all kinds of messed up in its own right.

Also maybe Tia would have gotten more advance notice on owing a bunch of students a field trip. That would be nice.

[zackepic22]

8226625

Was it nearly as messed up as her previous, self-inflicted nightmares, though...?

[Boulder]

SNERK, these felt like this...
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTj5YBoskUf0lIrPBkyW8zNA3_W41-cgoXFxjHUwIb010Hk9aBx2w

[Zubric]

8225974
Of some laser weapon on a fallout game

[StormyVenture]

Hoping You Don’t Stalk Your Student Beyond Today

That sounds like a lesson Celestia needs to learn.

8226018

I find it difficult to believe that if a bunch of fanfiction writers came up with something Hasbro couldn't come up with the same thing or a similar one independently and use it. Given that any fanfic using canon settings and characters is likely a derivative work in legal contexts, I don't see what presents them from borrowing anyway. Besides they have the money and lawyers to fight frivolous suits and random fanfic writers don't have the resources to pick a fight even if they had a leg to stand on.