Go There and Never Come Back Again, Part 2
Dear Starlight,
First off, I will extend some due congratulations for snatching victory from the jaws of defeat and saving all of us from a sticky, icky, bug battery lifestyle. Your quick thinking and ability to adapt your strategy under pressure served you well for infiltrating the hive, and there’s nothing in the world that can take that away from you.
That being said, that’s all you did. You didn't have any real plan to destroy the throne in absence of magic. As far as I’m aware, what happened was you bet the farm on a hunch and just happened to be incredibly fortunate enough for it to pay out. Thus, most of the credit for saving all of us goes to Thorax and a lot of changelings that had far less loyalty to their queen than I previously thought. Then again, the promise of never needing to eat for a species doomed to eating forever is a very enticing offer.
This isn’t to say you weren’t an instrumental part to their transformation, but only so much credit can be given to what was a gamble to begin with.
Some credit is also due to your other companions as well. Without Discord’s convenient-but-inconvenient teleportation, you wouldn’t have been able to infiltrate the hive so expediently. Although I personally wonder how he was able to divine Fluttershy’s location in a place where outside magic didn’t work, compounded with the fact that he completely missed the giant magical Dark Zone we were in when he’s so sensitive to the flow of magic he can sense alicorn magic shenanigans without blinking a single jaundiced eye.
Has he gone so soft from being whipped by Fluttershy he’s just attuned to wherever she is at all times? He can't know that unless... he has the nasal capacity of a bloodhound? Did he seriously sniff her out to track her down? Whatever the case, he has some explaining to do. And I might need to buy a new shampoo.
Lastly, Trixie was the only one in your party to actually bring supplies. It can safely be said that she facilitated a great deal of your infiltration just for having enough sense to carry some tools of the trade with her.
Of course, nothing prevented you from bringing any tools prior to entering the hive, but I can tell you didn’t plan that far ahead. This isn’t to say that even with preparation everything wouldn’t have gone down the same way in a similar series of events, but it would have improved your starting odds from a snowball’s chance in Tartarus to a snowmare’s chance.
Oh well. You got extremely lucky for being so unprepared, and that’s what matters in the end. Sure, Chrysalis got away (perhaps she greatly wished to avoid having her buggy arse kicked by a peeved baby) and she swore vengeance against you for taking away everything she had built up over the years, but I’m quite certain that’s a revenge situation you’re more than familiar with.
I won’t hold my breath if Chrysalis gets the friendship treatment the next time she shows up. And she will--pests always love to keep cropping up.
Wishing you success on her inevitable reformation,
Princess Celestia
P.S. Keep an eye out for any unreformed changelings. I’ve already caught the group that replaced us in Canterlot, and Cadance ought to be doing the same over in the Empire. We’ll be sending them over to Thorax by the end of the week.
Not that that should be difficult. Again, free meal ticket for a lifetime.
OW! Sunny, I have been hit in the head enough times for a month! I am not a changeling!
Look, I know you're still a bit jumpy since my changeling impersonator locked you in the closet because they couldn't tolerate you for ten whole minutes. But I promise you, we have captured all of them. You can stop hit-checking to see if I'm one of them.
OW! Okay, if you're so determined to find another changeling to smack, then why not start checking all the objects in the castle? They could be one of those too.
...wait wait WAIT don't smash everything! NO, NOT THE CHAINA CABINET--
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7668738 Except Discord wasn't aware of the fact that anything was wrong until Starlight told him. He asks where Twilight and the others are... but that's it.
Nuke everything. It's the only way to be sure.
Celestia, that is NOT what you should be using your ethereal-plane-vision-screens to watch.
What is a chaina cabinet? Or was that an accidental typo?
Poor Tia...
Discord found Fluttershy because he knows the smell of her farts.
Yeah.
7673490 could be worse: she could be annoying the crap outta her without physical violence
(meanwhile, in Luna's room)
Luna: No! Moony! Down! (is being chased by Moony)
Moony: HUG! (flies around, trying to catch up with Luna)
Luna: The changelings are gone! I'm not one of them!
Moony: I know! But still! HUG!
Luna: No! Stop chasing...(crashes into a wall) Ow, my head....
Moony: Oh no! Lu-Lu is hurt! Must hug Lu-Lu! (flies down and hugs Luna very tightly)
Luna: (weakly) Guess you missed me, Moony....
Who are moony and sunny? I only read this for eps I love
Hmm. I hadn't considered the question of how Discord missed the dead magic zone. I suppose the fact that it wasn't completely dead threw him off. After all, magic can still exist there, just not in a form useful to non-changelings.
But yeah, fortune definitely smiled upon Starlight there. Good thing we're still in an optimal timeline, despite the efforts of those who will remain nameless in this sentence. (In all seriousness, good on her, but the amount of effort that had to go into it makes me suspect this was staged even on a Watsonian level.)
You're not exactly one to talk about half-baked plans that rely mostly on chance, miss Sends-my-student-to-save-the-crystal-empire-with-only-a-fraction-of-the-info-she-needed-including-that-bit-about-the-magic-artifact-that-was-pretty-much-the-key-to-everything.
Celestia seems extra irritated this letter, I guess she just doesn't like Starlight. She saves the collective asses of all of Equestria's ruling party (Minus Blue Blood, I guess he was too smart to get captured), and Celestia has the nerve to complain about not having a plan, and it being dumb luck. It's always been dumb luck.
7673873 Welp, considering that Celestia had to get saved by what amounted to the Omega Squad, I think she wanted to first give credit where credit is due, and then point out maybe next time (And let's face it, the world is a stupid place, there will be a next time) she have an actual plan. That's not ungrateful, it's practical. This Celestia is nothing if not practical.
7673712 Moony and Sunny are mirror pool clones that Celestia and Luna use as body doubles.
7674114
She's not really in any position to give advice though, is she? What is this, the third time she's been kidnapped and needed saving, recently?
7674436 You really can't blame her for bad writing. But in canon, I imagine her guards were all infiltrated, then she was taken while she was sleeping. Even the sun needs to set once per day.
I do wish that Trixie's supplies had been addressed in the show, even a sentence or two. When they were discussing needing to destroy the throne, I was expecting Sunlight to ask her about her fireworks. Even a quick response of "Those are illusions, not real fireworks. All sizzle, no spark. Sorry." would have sufficed to address the issue. As it stands, they totally ignored their pyrotechnician when needing to blow something up!
7674436
"You're pointing out a few blemishes in my royal record over a millennium of ruling that are completely unrelated to the lack of planning involved in this latest rescue attempt.
Is that all it takes to invalidate sound advice advocating some sort of plan the next time it happens so victory isn't a chancey affair? Is that honestly too much to ask?"
7674644 I wouldn't call your guards slacking blemishes in your record, Your Highness.
And really I can't blame the guard either, as there was a solid 1000 years of peace time after Luna's incident, and normal guardponies aren't really trained to spot shapeshifters, or to thwart ancient spirits of chaos, or even inexplicable vines that pop out of the ground and drag a princess to the Everfree from hundreds of miles away.
Let's face it, Equestria as it stands has become a dangerous place.
7674794
"Yep, that was about the time I realized that if someone or something wants me captured, distance and/or travel time is not a significant factor they consider in any capacity. That doubles for the return trip if they need it.
Anyway, I really should get around to updating the Royal Guard's field manuals. They've been using a 'How to Guard Your Princess For Dummies' book that hasn't been updated since Twilight was first sent to Ponyville, and it's proven to be quite outdated."
7675475
Well done! You're better at game design than I am, at least in a quick comment about how Equestrians would play jan-ken-pony
Light and laughter,
SongCoyote
7675566 Well, I did go to college to study game design so...
I can't imagine what else you thought would come from a suggestion like that.
Count on Starlight not to forget how lucky she was.
No offense, but I saw the punchline coming from miles away. It's like Celestia intentionally caused that.
Wow u almso heard GladOS voice for a second there just the tone if it hehe
"You somehow managed to win without any palm or favourable odds congratulation "
7674436
"Can you just stamp my fewwudbtlyckidnapped fard and let me go "
" you know we discoursed that pronation long ago " - megamind-
7674813
But what can they really even do, anyway? The diarchy has been successfully assaulted so many times that the Royal Guard must be suffering a massive collective existential crisis by now, if not soon. Their presence is as superfluous as any noble title that is not "Princess", but unlike the nobility, the guard appear to be perceptive enough to have wrapped their minds around that notion and at least begun the merciless slide to its logical conclusion.
Most of the credit goes to Starlight because she pretty much came up with all the plans.
This Celestia cleary showing just how clueless she is.