Shining Armor,
So, you came up to me today and asked to wed my darling Cadance. Just strode up to me in day court and proudly professed your love for her in front of an audience. The pregnant silence following your declaration came as you waited for my response, as did the rest of the nobles biting their hooves over the possibly lost prospect of marrying my treasured niece.
Boy, you got some balls that, for the past few years, I thought were missing. Never in my dreams did I foresee such a bold move on your part when I recall her first experience dating you described as talking to a wall with nerdy scribbles written on it. But putting me on the spot right there, something nopony had done for centuries... that took guts. Real guts.
I'll be honest; the only reason I said "no" right then and there was because I needed to confirm it with Cadance to see if it was really true. Although I already knew that--she sent me letters once a week that just would NOT shut up about how much she adores you--I needed to hear it from her lips, in person.
And do you know what she said? She couldn't bear to live another day without you. She genuinely loves you with all her heart, and believes you feel the same. She even foresees living the rest of her days with you in true happiness, peaceful days, and other sappy gobbledygook words of endearment that screamed at me how much she loves you.
Therefore, you have my permission to wed her. Not that you needed it--she's of age, and you could have a done a secret wedding at Cheapy Steeple over in Las Pegasus. But since you decided to be braver than that, oh proud Captain of my guard, I'll even host the wedding here. Oh, but it'll have to happen soon. Within three days, at least.
You've got some invitations to send, so you better get on that, but I'll just leave one last bit of advice:
If you break her heart, you and Brutus are going to have a Sticks and Stones competition. And he will break a bone.
Love,
Princess Celestia
...what is that noise? It sounds like a giant mosquito.
Luna, you hear that too? Good, then it's not just me and--okay, that noise is REALLY bugging me.
Shush, you know I didn't mean that pun. Anyway, get your fly swatter ready, Luna. We're stamping this thing out, because I do NOT want bugs ruining the wedding!
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derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/6/23/17269__safe_queen+chrysalis_wat_fanfic_artist-colon-tggeko_bug+spray.png
Ha!
That's fun because changelings invaded Canterlot during the wedding.
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I never would've imagined...
5760566
i.imgur.com/ypc3f6l.jpg
Oh, heh heh. Nice pun right there, Celestia.
It begins...
I like the part about brutus.
With the RCV, words can (and in fact, did) harm a whole lot. Luna weaponized it effectively.
Makes sense Twi would flip out on Shining (is it canon or fic?.. can't recall) since it had to happen that fast.
BUGS!?! RACIST!!!!!!!
but I love this story.
Umm...a "shotgun wedding" is when a guy knocks up a girl and the family forces him to marry her. ENTIRELY not applicable here.
5761976
"I would do that if it happened, you know. If he refused, Brutus would go right up his--"
HOKAY, Tia, calm down. I'll fix this so it's a secret wedding. Should do the trick.
No bugs? Well then... Uh, Celestia...? I'm sorry...
I'm looking forward to the next letter, since Celestia has to admit she was the dense one in this episode.
Then again, Twilight didn't help her case by barging into the rehearsal and screaming, "She's evil!" instead of taking Celestia aside and calmly presenting her evidence in a rational manner. Given Twilight's history of meltdowns, I kinda get why everyone dismissed her claims.
Well then.. Gonna need some bug bombs cause you already infested with them
@IronSky I'm glad I'm not the only one that thinks that. Kind of like the Unicorn that cried wolf.
5761976
Unless Chryssi replaced Cadence a LONG time before and all those Changelings at the invasion were actually her family coming to prevent any pony from speaking up in the 'speak now or forever hold your piece' bit.
Ah yeah, bugs!
5760624 Tell me about it... Oh, the irony...!
If Chrysalis replaces Cadence right at this point, I'd call hax. Three days of love collection and she overpowers Celestia with that short of a timespan? :O
Either that, or Shiny is really, REALLY lovesick.
6271168 I've read the comics....the amount of sappy, sugary, love those two have is on the level of Pinkie Pie's sugar Bomb Delights.
About those bugs, Celestia....
lord why is there no changeling emote?!
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/728/536/96f.jpg
Should have called in the Fluffmeister.
P.S. Is anyone else having a hard time accepting that Flufflepuff might be a Pinkist?
Hilarious in hindsight.
6754696
Nah....
Fluffle has her own religion.
Her and Pinkie have almost started a couple of religious wars in trying to convert ponies to their different religions.
8825162
A COUPLE?
Okay, I might have started.. let's check the list here...
nine thousand, four hundred, and twelve.
well then.
well then.