Dear Princess Twilight “Yanked My Mane Off To Fix Your Friend’s Mane” Sparkle,
What in the blazing-red phoenix happened to everypony today?
First, I got reports on a bizarre mane-napping scheme that simultaneously struck all the major towns and cities in Equestria, including mine of course. I reached out to try and get a list of who was affected by this. Crystal Empire, Manehatten, Rainbow Falls, Las Pegasus, Ponyville, the works.
I did not expect a letter of apology from you regarding what has to be one of the most baffling decisions you’ve made since turning your doll into an obsession magnet. Twilight “Seriously, What Was Your Thought Process Behind This Stupid Decision” Sparkle, is there truly no lengths you won’t snip off to try and fashion a hairpiece for Rarity that, for some reason, does not involve the copious amounts of purple hair on your person?
I get that hair magic is a bizarrely complicated matter that boggles the mind despite every other major advancement in spell-casting so far. Time travel and giant butterfly wings we can pin down in a scroll or book, yet the mane school of magic needs a damn master’s degree because there’s so many things about it that we still don’t get. Why does it use equivalent exchange? Why are mustaches free only for November? Why can chaos beings completely ignore such arbitrarily specific rules at will?
Actually, maybe the last question answers itself. For the rest of us, mane magic sits on the pillar right next to theoretical physics in sheer complexity. And you decided to try a get-hair-quick scheme because your friend was behaving like a maneiac that had no confidence in her ability to fix her appearance, despite her being a pony that’s best at improvising when one bad break throws her entire plan out the window. Last I heard, she won a fashion show in Manehatten with that strategy. How long did it take her to realize she could do the same thing here?
Presumably way too long, judging from the disastrous results you conjured on her behalf. For the record, I’m extremely disappointed in your judgment today. Luckily, all affected manes and tails will grow back in due time, including my own. I just have one request for you to pass along to your fashionista friend:
You better be ready to pass out a lot of free hats. I can’t risk this being fixed with more mane magic. Inevitably, there will be hell toupees if we try.
Wishing Both of You Had a Clear Head Before Worrying About the Mane Problem,
Princess Celestia
Sunny, what is it? I’m not in a great mood right now.
New look? Well, I guess I can see it for a moment—
Heh, those aren’t horns all over your head. Those are spikes.
No, not the dragon! Like… like the pointy and sharp bracelet you’re wearing. Those are spikes.
I don’t mean they belong to him. I… never mind. Your horn-filled head looks nice. Really makes me wish I had something to work with.
Oh? What does my head look like?
...Okay, for future notice, never call my head a cue ball ever again.
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Yeah, the implications of this episode are... perplexing. And that's putting it lightly.
What I remember is that in Boast Busters (S1) Trixie was able to change Rarity's mane. So, why didn't Rarity just ask Trixie for help?
Still, the idea of mane magic being so complex DOES explain why Rarity had so much trouble with Cadance's mane in Games Ponies Play (If that's the episode they went to the Crystal Empire)
8434545 Changing color and rearranging is not the same as growing new hair.
There's really only one quote I need for this episode:
"You know, in my defense, your poisons all look alike." ~Kronk
8434545
At least they tried to fix it this time? Last time they just said it would be impossible and moved on.
Would have made more sense for it to work but be ugly because they didn't have the right sense of artistry or something? Except that Rarity fixed up her *own* mane using magic in Boast Busters too. Why didn't she just magic back her hair?
Or the remover potion could have interfered maybe? Or... having magical hair for the 'best manes in equestria' issue could be considered cheating and would be humiliating if anypony found out?
Oh Celestia, I lost it at that!
Also, good to see the Celestia that has clearly had enough of Twilight's shit again. I was afraid she was going a little soft.
what no Dear Zecora will you please label your potions letter?
8434565
Finish the quote: "You might want to think about re-labeling some of them" -Kronk, the Emperor's New Groove
Guessing that's a word-to-scroll typo, or Celestia's just being awful.
So, Twilight can give a reptile a mustache, and yet not regrow a mane? How does THAT work?
8434690
"Dear Zecora,
If you have enough time to rhyme out a full set of instructions for two potions, you have enough time to write "shampoo" and "cleanser" on two strips of paper and slap them on your bottles first before anything else happens on the off-chance of clumsiness mixing up your mixed-up brews.
On that note, here's a stack of post-its.
TTYL,
Tia"
8434748
Yeah, Zecora really deserves the blame for this episode's... Conflict? Seriously, two potions are identical in colour in identical test-tubes and she didn't bother to label them?
I seriously wonder whether she was, in fact, basically trolling Rarity for the large part of this episode.
(And it never occurred to anyone to ask Discord (via Fluttershy) really nicely or something...? Put the old pretty-please-for-Fluttershy to get him to behave for it? Really?)
You should be glad that your mane did not get removed, Celestia.
derpicdn.net/img/2017/9/17/1538173/tall.png
Perhaps this was simply Zecora's way of getting back at the group for being ignored for about 4 seasons.
I did wonder why Rarity didn't just take some of her tail to make a wig. Baring that, asking Twilight and Starlight for some of their manes and tails to fashion a wig with.
8435021
I think Rarity's tail was afffected almost as badly as her mane, though asking for some donations from her friends should have worked.
I wondered why she didn't just ask Cranky for the name of his mane supplier. Or get Steven Magnet to return the favour from way back when.
Half way through reading this I realized there was another, much simpler solution.
Poison Joke.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/7/22/941470__safe_rarity_messy+mane_poison+joke_artist-colon-spellboundcanvas_hairity.png
8434836
Quack alchemists are lousy at labeling things; this is a fact of nature.
Didn't you learn anything from The Emperor's New Groove?
8435806
I think it's still irresponsible of her not to have put something on there, Especially since one was a remover potent enough that only a drop or 2 is needed at a time. Going to a bakery.
Also, do you guys think she always knew they each grabbed the wrong vial, or that she put 2 and 2 together when Rarity came in?
8435594
Yes, but this is Poison Joke we're talking about. It's funnier if Rarity uses it, expecting to gain copiuous amounts of hair, only for her to lose all of it.
8436645
Zecora got it to work for Fluttershy when Big Mac couldn't sing for the ponytones. I don't see why i'd work any different here.
Should have just called in Zephyr Breeze to fix this, it's the one thing he's trained at.
8437159
Zephyr Breeze or Babs Seed. Awesome callback, literally their talents, and it would solve it amazingly.
Did anybody else notice the similarity between his maneikin and Rarity's mane in this episode?
8437159
Because the writers went out of their way to ignore every single solution, other than punk gag.
are there
Nergigante: I approve of her style!