Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

It's Hard to Say Anything About Where the Crusaders are...

Dear Twilight,

I just received this hastily written request that reads like three frantic mares fought over possession of the quill trying to get their words on the parchment. Ordinarily I’d wonder who wrote this, but given the amount of times the names Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Apple Bloom appeared, discerning the authors’ identities is hardly a mystery.

My little ponies, do yourself a favor and pull yourselves together. Yes, all three turning up missing after a whole day with nopony having any knowledge of their whereabouts is definitely something to fret over. However, turning the town upside-down, literally in at least three cases of actual house-flipping by ‘a crazed white mare screaming for her lost sister’ (I know the feeling, Rarity), is a bit much for the townsfolk and Mayor Mare to handle.

You have Twilight there with you—let her formulate a calm, orderly plan to scope out the town and the outskirts proper while I send out notices to the neighboring towns and provinces regarding three lost fillies. I’ve already got a squadron of guards sniffing out the Canterlot Commons as I write this reply.

We will find them. If we’re lucky, odds are they’re within the vicinity of an Apple family relative somewhere in Equestria that would happily inform us of their whereabouts via a prompt and efficient letter which would fully dispel thy fears and concerns. The Apple family is the type of family that won’t forget such an important notice regarding one of their kin and her two companions, and would definitely not shirk such responsibility for trivial reasons… probably. Hopefully!

...It’s going to be that, isn’t it?

Well, regardless if it is or not, think positive thoughts about their safety. Thinking about the worst case scenarios doesn’t do any good for anypony, as Twilight and I are quite aware of.

They’ll come home, my little ponies. Safe and sound into your snuggling, slightly-choking forelegs.

Searching with fervor,

Princess Celestia

P.S. If those three haven't paved some untold path of destruction using a giant stone slab or pretending to destroy pigs in shoddy houses, they should be fine. Their destructive tendencies have waned off over the past few years, but it might come back in a glorious manifestation of ill-conceived romantic escapades and/or surprise home relocating or remodeling. Wouldn't that be a kick in the head?

Comments

[MythrilMoth]

You know, it completely escaped my notice that our three favorite free-range fillies never bothered to let anypony know they were taking a little trip...

[Seether00]

8192968

Oh yeah. I hadn't thought about that either.

[dshadow14]

8192968
Same here. I guess seeing as they were stowing away with Big Mac, I kinda forgot to care, he's the oldest Apple sibling after all. I still thought it was an immensely stupid idea, but Applejack surprisingly never crossed my mind, let alone Rarity or Rainbow Dash...

[Hillbe]

Tell that white drama queen to stop binging on Vanilla Oat Swirl ice cream by the pallet load, I so need it for my fudge chocolate supreme cake, Have Spike carefully take that spoon away from her, ( In her horn it's a deadly weapon ) and stuff something else in her mouth I need my Ice cream.

???????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stuff????????????????????????

no way I value my claws.... You've never see her shovel away at full scream a head... She's like an earth mover or bulldozer of ice cream.

[alfonso_rd_33]

8192968
8192975
8193009

I'd say we all tend to forget that, despite already being cutie marked, the CMC are still kids... so it seems purrfectly logical to treat 'em like not so irresponsible adults...

[FanOfMostEverything]

I can only imagine how many sonic booms Dash caused during her search.

8192968
After this, they may not be free-range for a while. I'm not saying cages will be involved—though AJ may call in another favor from Wrangler—but enclosed pastures are highly likely.

[RDDash]

They are hardly lost, if you dint noticed Big Mac took them for a ride to "Our Town" and back

[Tired Old Man]

8193170

True, but who actually knows that? Certainly not anypony in Ponyville, unless I missed a part where they left a post-it on AJ's fridge saying, "Crusaders left with Big Mac on Top Secret Mission, don't tell anyone."

[Lancerlot]

I'd imagine the usual missing-persons search routine would include at least one pegasus messenger/guard visiting each nearby town and informing the authorities there. As often as the CMCs wander off to various dangerous places, they probably have a well-practiced protocol in place.

And now it's time for yet another bad play on the title. Celestia and Luna both have mirror-pool clones, so this could also be "Letters from an imitated princess."

[The Cynical Brony]

8193084 It only took you two years to reply to my comment.

[bot105]

Congrats on 200th chapter!

[Aotrs Commander]

Pssh! What's everypony so worried about? Aren't they older than the Mane Six when they got their marks (and in some cases wandered off on their own...?) I mean, really what kind of trouble or damage could they-wait, sorry, this is the CMC unsupervised, I'll just be taking my starships a few more lightyears thatta way, and MAYBE out of the ensueing blast radius...

[Briarpelt]

Wow, Celestia is rather astute, given the minuscule chances of her guesses just happening to be exactly right.

[Coyotek4]

8193102
Two episodes ago, it was all about how much Sweetie Belle has grown over the years ... and now she's 'just a filly' again.

[Coyotek4]

Wait, the beginning of the letter says "Dear Twilight", but the letter itself refers to Twilight. I assume it should have read "Dear Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash".

EDIT: I re-read the beginning. It's like the first paragraph is addressed to Twilight, and everything else is addressed to the threesome. My head now hurts.

[BlueYoshi]

(After the events of S07E08)

Big Macintosh: We're home, little fil-SWEETIE CELESTIA!
Apple Bloom: What's wrong, Big Mac? You sound so-whoa! What happened to Ponyville?!
Scootaloo: And why are there a whole bunch of houses flipped upside down? Is Discord up to no good again?
Sweetie Belle: Maybe we should ask Rarity, Applejack, and others. Oh, look! They're here! They're running toward us! And they're...not happy?
Rarity: SWEETIE BELLE!
Applejack: APPLE BLOOM!
Rarity & Applejack: YOU'VE GOT SOME EXPLAINING TO DO!
Cutie Mark Crusaders: Uh-oh.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/10/6/443158__safe_apple+bloom_scootaloo_sweetie+belle_hearts+and+hooves+day+%28episode%29_animated_balloon_cutie+mark+crusaders_expressive+bow_hearts+and+ho.gif

[BellChime]

*Read Half The Chapter*
*Only then remembers that the CMC didn't tell anyone where they were going in the episode*

[Iron Comet]

They have there butt tattoos. I think by definition that makes the adults. Very young and immature ones but still adults.

[BellChime]

8193455
In all fairness, respecting a growing adolescent's tastes is one thing, them going missing is quite another.