Gauntlet Garbled Great Balls of Fire!*
Dear Twilight,
I didn’t say anything about you dropping absolutely everything to go off and supporting Spike in the midst of our rare visit in the midst of a very strained schedule this week. I knew he needed some support for the trials he would endure in the Dragon Lands, and some friends by his side would no doubt bolster his morale. Thus, I absolutely stand by your decision to depart with him, and hope that the next time we meet that the meeting could last longer than five minutes.
However, your strategy to follow him into the Dragon Lands was… odd. Okay, that’s an understatement--it’s downright confusing. Why environmental objects, of all things? Was it really that difficult to figure out a quick transformation spell for dragons?
I ask that mainly because you have a spell-tinkering pupil in your house that managed to modify a centuries-old time spell to work with a magical table that didn’t even exist since a year ago! With this much magical talent under your roof, how hard could it have really been to turn yourselves into dragons?! You could even transform yourself into foliage or a chameleon, which doubles with its own camouflage technique! All this magic would be available at your disposal, but instead you walked off with some of those increasingly ridiculous camouflage sets?!
Oh, right. I forgot to mention that I spent my afternoon with Starlight Glimmer since you’ve departed with Spike (Luna decided to return home for two very important reasons). Very peculiar pupil now that I’ve taken some real time to speak with them. She sort of reminds me of another student that nearly threatened an interdimensional war between worlds, only slightly less insane and significantly more submissive. I still wonder what you said to her that turned her into a prostrating patsy, but maybe it’s better I don’t know.
Anyhow, she’s enlightened me to the fact that you’ve devoted an entire room of your castle to these unusual camouflage pieces! Granted, we had to go through about fifty rooms to find it (your pupil’s horrible with directions), but we found it!
Giant candy canes! Why do you have a set of huge hollow candy canes?! Who are you going to observe on Hearth’s Warming that merits a disguise like this?
Don’t answer that question. The answer will be creepy no matter who you name.
Also, those realistic-looking timberwolf shelters in here were so convincing I blasted them on sight. I realize those would have had great use in the Everfree, so you’re going to need to build new ones.
But by far the most baffling object is the Ursa Major gallstone. Just… why?! Why is that even a thing for you to disguise as? Nopony wants to see that! I didn’t even want to see it or acknowledge its existence until I had to in your disguise room!
And then there’s the suits! You have a buffalo suit, and I guess that’s fine. The Yak suit right next to it is not--I am so fortunate you did not use this, because you most certainly did NOT incorporate authentic yak fur into it!
But that’s not all. There were suits of you and your friends. An entire rack of them, and one of those suits looked suspiciously like me. In fact, on closer inspection it looked exactly like me. I get the feeling a suit for Luna also exists, but I didn’t see it here.
Needless for me to ask, but you have a lot of explaining to do. I don’t want to hear some insanely convenient excuse like they’re a gift from Pinkie or something!
...that’s the excuse you’re going to give me, isn’t it? Look, just tell me it is, and I won’t ask any more questions. It’s not worth me pursuing it further than that.
It really, really isn’t.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Hello, Luna. Please tell me Sunny and Moony haven’t obliterated the kitchen. Again.
Oh, speaking of Moony, there she… is… why are there three of you, Luna? You… you’ve been peering into my nightmares, haven’t you?!
Whoa whoa, don’t close in on me like this! I realize I’ve committed some wrongs against you, but… wait. This isn’t a dream. It’s not a daydream, is it? I see that look in your eyes, that eerie wide smile on the one in the back, and this intoxicatingly sweet and horrific smell… NO! No no NO! You wouldn’t?!
Treason! This is high treason, Luna! You can’t bury me in that much moon cookie dough! It’ll take me a thousand minutes to eat my way out of it! Don’t you da--
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...Ok then... Stay the hell away from Twilight's Creepy disguise room.
*glomp*-thats a lot of moondough and goodnight sweet princess
1000 minutes? Meh, that's not even 17 hours.
7138030
"It would have been 1000 hours, they claimed.
Except I would have had to eat my way through the entire castle, and I would have received over a thousand questions why my castle smelled like a horrific bakery.
They decided that sort of inquiry wasn't worth the risk."
Huh. Now that you mention it, the template polymorph spell from the breezie incident would've been perfect for this... though that would have obligated Twilight to compete, and if she won, that would lead to all kinds of diplomatic complications. To say nothing of what might happen if Rarity won. Heck, she might have doubled in size just from her sensitivity to gemstones. Plus, draconic Rarity would probably do more to distract Spike than support him...
Yeah, probably for the best that Twilight didn't go for the transmutative option.
Oh, and I lost it at the gallstone.
7138019 I believe it is one of those things you avoid like fluttershy's shed.
7138126
That was more or less my thinking here. The Breezy spell could have possibly been used, Twilight and Rarity might have been more useful as ponies disguised as foliage. I also considered with just the one dragon on hoof (Spike), Twilight and Rarity might just transform into baby dragons like him... not sure how terribly useful that would have been, especially with Rarity not having any experience as a biped.
7138347
Or like Celestia said a chameleon, wait those don't go where they went so never mind on that. So Twilight now has a room that is like Fluttershy's shed.
While you're busy berating her for her choice in disguises, you might want to also do so for continuing to forgo any combat training. I mean, she gets into life or death situations at LEAST once a year, and an adolescent dragon really shouldn't be able to threaten an alicorn without being turned inside out, if only to remind dragons why attacking Equestria would be a BAD idea if nothing else...
So if Fluttershy is an otaku, then Twilight is a cosplayer?
I bet this is what Luna did when she visited Sunny and Moony.
Luna: Sunny? Moony? Where are you?
Moony: Here we are, Lulu!
Sunny: Hey, I get to call her that!
Luna: Hey, why do you guys look like that...wait. Were you trying to make something?
Moony: We only wanted to prepare you something to eat after you returned to your castle...
Sunny: ...but we had trouble cooking.
Luna: (sniffs) Hey, is that? (has a mischievous look on her face) Oh, guys? I have a wonderful plan for our sister. Come a little closer, and I'll tell you....
...why do I keep misreading the title as "The Letters from an Irradiated Princess"?
7139567
You're not alone.
also ( 6135199 5995491 )
OBviously the Luna costume is very good too.
7142330
I think I can do that just fine.
They've been introduced since this season five letter as cloned duplicates of Tia and Luna. It, uh... took a little while for their names to come around, but they've basically been no end of trouble for just about anyone that gets into contact with them on account of their... adolescent nature.
They do have their moments, though!
Clearly the disguises are a creepy sex thing. Mystery solved!
Bahahhaaa!
If it's Pinkie's I bet she has a stash much better than that in her basement room. She could probably have been all around the place and we wouldn't have guessed.
7138390 kind of odd she froze like fhaf against garble. Up mean she had s spell to freeze people in their place (castle mania ) , another simple stun laser spell (three a crowd ). But nope the plot demanded she go into helpless Damsile mode
7142330 T.O.M. had a couple of OC moments.
7139169
7140875
Yes, also thinking we know where the Luna suit went.
7138126
But…but…transmogrifying!
On one hand, needless costume design. On the other hand, Twilight basically just launched a successful filibusters operation and now Equestria has a foreign leader pliable to pony interests. Celestia should be happy.