Dear Princess Twilight,
I came to a conclusion today, as I sit in this bathtub warming up my frozen ribs that the Crystallization process seemed to skip over. Luna's also in the bath. It's a big bath, with so many duckies. You should try it sometime.
Ahem. So , every one of us acted like morons. You, Cadance, Shining, and especially Luna and myself. Why? Because we could have done so much better than what we did. And there's no excuse for why we couldn't. Hindsight’s in overdrive today!
First, I’m not going to place any blame on the biplane baby, despite the fact that she did shatter the Crystal Heart with a resonating wail that most certainly destroyed all of Cadance’s crystalware as well (I’m going to miss those wine glasses she had). Babies will cry and make messes of things, even if said messes happen to threaten an entire empire. But at the same time, they don’t have much of a grasp for things like accountability and collateral damage, especially one that’s recently departed Cadance’s hangar doors. Plus, it’s hard to get mad when she looks just so adorable, even if her wings look like they belong on a griffon. Or an albatross. I’m leaning towards albatross.
Anyway, with the baby matter settled, what could we have done better? Well, for a start, I should have included Rainbow Dash with helping to clear the clouds. Of course, I wouldn’t let her go solo, knowing those clouds were so frigid it would freeze her wings to the point of uselessness, which was definitely what her plan was going to be. Stubborn, hardheaded, and also exactly what we should have supplemented with a warding bubble so she could plow through those clouds like a bowling ball. Or a pinball, depending on whether or not some clouds were more resilient than others.
As crazy as that sounds, I’m certain that just about any idea was better than us blasting clouds with singular laser beams. Rainbow was raring and eager to help, and we delegated her and your friends the duty of migrating townsfolk more stubborn than a mob of rams. And no, I don’t mean the actual mob of rams headed by that whistle-loving Don Knocks and his right-hoof helper, Grandine Griffon. That bunch tends to drive me up the wall for all sorts of ridiculous reasons, but I digress.
As for Cadance, I'd already written to her at length about the apparent lack of knowledge she had shown about the Empire she's presiding over. I would have asked her what exactly she was doing with most of her free time, but I think we could clearly see--and hear--the result as is. Regardless, I requested that she take some time to acquire some knowledge about the Empire whilst being the doting, caring mother she has to be now--if she hasn't learned how to properly multitask before, she will soon enough.
Shining, well… he’ll still be a train wreck. But all new fathers are, and he’s no exception. All things considered, he’d actually done an admirable job organizing the evacuation effort when the ponies gathered for the Crystalling didn’t get the hint--I’m not sure if that’s a testament to your friends being too subtle, or those ponies proving they’re less intelligent than Black Friday shoppers in Manehattan. Whatever the case may be, he proved he has a head screwed on just right. Whether that remains so will come in the next few months for him and Cadance, and I have a sneaking suspicion I’m going to hear all about their problems. And so will you--we’re both aunts, after all. We have to stick together now.
Lastly, I’m sure you know all about your mistake. I shouldn’t have to mention the need to preserve precious history books in a crisis unless it’s absolutely unavoidable, as was the case of Tirek. It’s certainly a great boon that you’d recalled one of the necessary spells to save the Empire, but who knows what other knowledge we have lost as a result of that destructively adorable bundle of joy… and sorrow? Perhaps when you have a child of your own one day (no, Glimmer doesn’t count), you’ll learn just how much babyproofing you’re going to need. If you need help in that department, I can redirect you to Granny Smith and her kin. They know all about that process!
Now, that covers almost everything… except for one thing. When I got home, I found this checklist clearly penned by you detailing some procedure for me to make up with Sunburst. I don’t exactly know if that was meant for me, but I do owe him an apology in regards to his stay at my school. I hope you don’t mind if I take this to heart and write to him. He deserves that much from me.
Love,
Princess Celestia
...Wait, Luna, where’s Sunny and Moony? You don’t think they know about the baby yet, do they?
I didn’t want them to know just yet. They should know, of course, but I had to see just how under control Flurry Heart was before we let them see her, lest they cause some monumentally worse natural disasters.
Well, think about it! What would Sunny do if she was there instead of me when the Crystal Heart shattered? I already know the answer: tape. Then glue. Then tape AND glue! Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed how every potted plant in the castle looks like it barely survived a hurricane, then didn’t survive an earthquake immediately afterward! And don’t even get me started on my ceramic plates!
Then when her efforts inevitably fail and the blizzard hits, she’d probably try to pull the sun in to fix the chilly problem because that’s the same method she used last week to try and melt some super frozen yogurt from the freezer! The sheer amount of sunburn complains from that in addition to the slew of other environmental problems was more than enough to convince me that she shouldn’t see Flurry before we did first and--
Oh, uh, hi Sunny! We were discussing something about you. How… good are you with children?
Okay, now what about a baby? Say, Cadance’s baby? Do you think you can handle--
...Yes, dear sister. I do see the hole in the bathroom wall. And hear her screaming “I LOVE BABIES!” at the top of her lungs.
You think it’ll take fifteen seconds for her to leave a hole in your tower? What do you take her for?!
I think she’ll do it in ten.
Nope, 5.
From the sound of it, Sunburst didn't exactly have an easy time at Celestia's School, and she taught him personally at one point, I'm headcanoning that Starlight and Sunburst around about 10 years older than Twilight, they've just aged well, magic ponies and stuff. As an aside, with all due respect to milesprower06, I honestly prefer these to his Disgruntled verse, because, everyone does feel in character, give or take some irritation or bluntness, you can get invested in the characters beyond "how stupid/evil/done with this can everyone be". Not quite sure how the Royal Sister Clones came about but hey, it's an amusing running gag, and despite being relatively, airheaded, much like their templates, they are good at heart, so would never intentionally do anything harmful to anyone unless they knew said being could take a hit, as such and was ok with it. Man this got away from me, sorry!
Sunny and Moony dealing with Princess Flurry Heart? Oh my. This will not go so well.
And if they realize that Flurry has huge wings, Sunny's probably going to throw her and shout "LET'S FLY TO THE CASTLE!"
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/498/658/3f2.gif
Oh, no. Here we go again.
Although I do agree that Cadence is kind of fluffheaded and Rainbow Dash would have been so much better than laser beams, I thought the cast acted pretty responsibly this time around. They evacuated the city, searched for a repair spell in the library, and eventually wound up consulting somepony they believed to be an important wizard--who was adequately well-read to solve the problem--and altogether conducted themselves with much more foresight and responsibility than we've seen thus far. My biggest complaint was the way that Earth ponies were totally passed over by the Princesses. "Oh yeah, she'll have OP unicorn magic and flight abilities." Nothing about Alicorns being part Earth Pony, nothing! It's Tribalist! What happened to equality between the tribes? Can it exist when even those who are supposed to represent it are so clearly prejudiced?
Sorry for the rant. Maybe I'll blog about this instead of leaving comments.
7072160 Her super-scream was probably the earth pony part of her.
7072179 Yeah, but they might have at least mentioned it!
I'm going to go rant on my blog. Maybe.
Oh...yes
I've missed these.
7072160 My theory is her magic and flying abilities are only advanced do to her parents, Cadence was a pegasus and Shining is a unicorn, so those traits are boosted in their brat. Maybe if Twilight hooks up with an earth pony, her kid would be super strong in body and magic, yet suck at flying.
love this glad to see it back. p.s I hated how Celestia showed ignorance regarding alicorn child birth when her and her sister were born alicorns, they had lessons on things so they should know. (yes I know it was probably a bid to keep the tv y rating, but there is also the problem of new writers who don't bother to watch previous episodes and read the accompanying canon material.)
7072406 Uh... Have YOU seen any kids of Celestia or Luna running around? Judging by what the show gave us, they ascended too. And judging by the lack of any Celestia/Luna- mothered foals, I'd say they have either a case of Celibate Hero, or maybe Immortal Infertility. So yes, Flurry Heart is most likely indeed the first natural-born Alicorn.
My (and other people's) question is why no one thought to cast a city wide shield to keep the weather back. You know, that thing we know both Shining and Cadance, and thus presumably the other three alicorns, are capable of?
The sad fact of the matter is that Celestia doesn't have a very good track record during unexpected crises. Discord, Chrysalis, Tirek, and so forth. If she doesn't know the problem's coming a millennium in advance and she can't brute force it as with the Want-It Need-It spell, she's kind of at a loss. She is an excellent planner given sufficient time, but she's sadly not that good an improviser.
But, yeah, there were definitely better options available. Still, I wouldn't send Sunny to the Empire if the Crystal Heart was anything short of indestructible.
7072834
Well, Shining is the pony most skilled at such shield spells, and, well ... he really was in no condition to do that. Seriously, I would not have trusted him with even the most basic spells seeing how frazzled he was.
And while my wife and I don't have children, I've seen new fathers among my coworkers at the office who foolishly returned to work too early. This episode of FiM was an exaggeration, of course, but ... not by much
Tom Senpai noticed me!
Comment Two
HE'S BACK!
7072240 Hmm, that makes sense. We'll have to see what happens.
7073136 indeed we will.
7072561
If they ascended they'd be fertile like Cadence. I firmly hold to the belief they were either created or avatars.
Also, there's never been a Mary Su- I mean foal alicorn in Equestria. Celestia and Luna clearly predate Equestria, considering that when Equestria was founded Celestia and Luna appeared on their flag as adults.
7072928
Well, ok, that rules out Shining, but that still leaves a minimum of three (if we also presume Cadance is unable for similar reasons) alicorns perfectly capable of doing a city shield, and they would only have had to do it for a few hours, unlike the three or more days Cadance herself did one for when the Empire first came back, and she held it up while under attack by Sombra, so surely Luna or Celestia could hold up against a snowstorm for a little bit.
7072141 You remember "Too Many Pinkie Pies" from way back in season 2? Well lets just say that Celestia and Luna being reminded of the mirror pool decided it was a great idea to make mirror pool clones to take their place for vacation. Let's just say creating life is not a good way to release stress (in the long run... If you know what I mean.)
Sunny and Moony have been around spicing things up ever since. I don't know what this story would even be without them.
P.S: I remember the episode extra well and it's one of my favorite episodes, not because of the episode itself but for the sheer moment of when my clan leader needed to speak to me and I just in a very "Rainbow Dash don't want Tank to hibernate" way told him "Shut up I'm watching Ponies!" Afterwards he was always scared of me whenever I mentioned the P-word.
7074343
Thanks.
7072561
first off alicorns are not normally immortal, long lived yes but not immortal. celestia and luna were both born alicorns taught magic and the royal canterlot voice by other alicorns, alicorns also had a society based in canterlot (don't know what happened perhaps that love poison is involved.) The reason celestia and luna are immortal is because of starswirls sun and moon moving spell that rejuvenates and magically empowers alicorns. this isn't in the shows canon just yet, but it is in the journal of the two sisters by amy keating rogers with help from faust and double checked with meghan mccarthy(sadly mccarthy is hands off this new season and the show has new writers) which is canon.
as for the sisters being celibate I highly doubt it when celestia is Bluebloods great aunt 42 times removed. perhaps the reason the sisters don't know how alicorns are born is lacking in knowledge of the science behind parent child genetic inheritance and so far have only ever had none alicorn children.
7074505
I've read the journal many times and I don't remember it ever mentioning other alicorns besides themselves.
7075538 celestia and luna mention them several times in the book. though none are specifically named.
7075660
Source please?
7076239 ok first page where celestia explains that starswirl approached them because Alicorns are the embodiments of love friendship and harmony and because alicorns embody all three tribes, during the fight with princess platinum where celestia talks about how alicorn society doesn't put much weight on gaining your cutie mark because of their long life spans, when celestia and luna first see starswirl's tower (and no that isn't a euphemism, starswirl crawling to the princesses after he derped up by trying to raise the sun and moon by himself, the first intro to luna where she states she hates writing in the royal canterlot voice the mention of the two alicorn fillies playing in canterlot hills. those are the most i can remember of top my head. did you really read it or did you skim it?
7076280 Amy keating rogers said and i quote
Amy Keating Rogers Summary on Twitter:
According to what we discussed, Celestia and Luna were born as Alicorns.
I haven't watched the premiere so I don't know what folks are all freaked about.
I wasn't a writer on S6. But remember, Equestria was founded and the C&L became the Princesses.
I haven't seen the premiere. But here's the timeline as I see it.
1. ) Equestria is founded with Starswirl & co.
2. ) C&L are asked to be the Princesses of newly-founded Equestria. They've now been Princesses for a LONG time.
3. ) During that long, long, LOOONG time, no natural-born Alicorns were born. C&L didn't have foals...
So it's been a long, long, LOOOOONG time since an Alicorn was born. So long, they didn't think it was possible.
Again, didn't work on it and haven't seen it, so these are just my personal theories.
and sincee she wrote the journal i say her word is law about this.
7076280
No, I've read it quite a few times. I only saw mention of other Alicorns once, and that was when Luna was complaining about being taught the Royal Canterlot Voice by the Alicorns. But if there were other Alicorns when Starswirl and the other ponies came to them for leadership, why didn't they step forward instead of having two relatively young Alicorns take the reigns of an entire nation? Seems a bit irresponsible to me.
7076239 Amy keating roger (The writer of journal of the two sisters explained it as such)
Amy Keating Rogers Summary on Twitter:
According to what we discussed, Celestia and Luna were born as Alicorns.
I haven't watched the premiere so I don't know what folks are all freaked about.
I wasn't a writer on S6. But remember, Equestria was founded and the C&L became the Princesses.
I haven't seen the premiere. But here's the timeline as I see it.
1. ) Equestria is founded with Starswirl & co.
2. ) C&L are asked to be the Princesses of newly-founded Equestria. They've now been Princesses for a LONG time.
3. ) During that long, long, LOOONG time, no natural-born Alicorns were born. C&L didn't have foals...
So it's been a long, long, LOOOOONG time since an Alicorn was born. So long, they didn't think it was possible.
Again, didn't work on it and haven't seen it, so these are just my personal theories.
7076519
Interesting. I don't have twitter so I didn't know any of that.
7076512 I was unaware of this and it clears up my confusion regarding what Tia said though that was one of my theories on why the sisters didn't know. Can I have a link to that answer? As I am not always on twitter.
7076517 yeah that's a plot hole because alicorns existed that perhaps the sisters where the only ones who cared to listen or perhaps they were just the first that was asked I doubt canterlot had trains or roads
7077172 https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kpROAtNup2g/Vvr8nplCRuI/AAAAAAACi4c/fkeUGYbrQHMycYAwAYqs1onB0P7gZe5_Q/s1600/2.PNG
7078123 thanks
I wonder how come the Crystal Heart is just floating with no protection. If it was that easy to break, Sombra could've taken over a long time ago.
7079237
Sombra did take over a long time ago. Roughly a thousand-and-some years ago.
7081227 Ehehe cmon, we're both pink... things. You can have your little smile cult and leave me out of it. It was only a joke, that thing really wouldn't kill you. Besides; you wouldn't want any of my friends to come if I'm dead... right?
7079237 Yeah but he force to protect it as well since the Crystal Heart is what allows the Crystal Empire to survive in such arctic terrain and that it is breakable, it makes sense why King Sombra never destroyed the one thing that could defeat him when he could. If he destroyed the Crystal Heart, then his slaves would perish in the ensuring weather change and leave him alone in the snow.
7082298 That does make sense. Thanks for clearing that up for me.
7072124 Nope. About as long as it takes Saitama to One Punch most monsters.
So why couldn't shining or cadscne puffs up a sheild around the city like last time? Or was she too busy with the baby to do something so taxing
7172708 You DID see the state Shining was in... right? He was a total mess.
I laughed so hard!
Aaaaaaaaand I lost my shit.
And yet again ....
So glad I started binge-reading this one, and kicking myself for not finding it earlier!