How to Play: Yak-Attack
Prince Rusty Fur,
Firstly, my apologies that I did not enunciate your name perfectly, but at least it nailed your fur color. Secondly, while I've already told my student about the errors she had committed during your stay, she is not the only one at fault here.
When you came to Equestria to see our great lands, I'm sure you fully expected to see the wonders we had to offer, which includes our cuisine, landmarks, fashion, the works. It would have been a grand tour, and given your train ride from the Crystal Empire to Ponyville, you know this to be true just from the sights you've already seen.
So when Twilight presented to you some of your country's cuisine in her castle, you had knowledge of the fact that the borders were closed for hundreds of moons, including a full embargo on all trade goods between Yakyakistan and 'Equestia'--that's a lovely typo in this embargo document, by the way--along with every other country you could correctly name. Nothing short of some illegal smuggling would allow us to have anything from your country present in our lands, and obviously anything left over from the last set of trades months ago had long been expired--except for textiles, but those wound up being used quickly this year after a certain incident involving two of our towns. That's none of your business, however.
But do you see where I'm going with this? This means that you knew that anything 'from' Yakyakistan was a bold-faced lie offered to you on the silveriest of silver platters, and that they were instead done in the style of Yakyakistan. A forgivable mistake at least, but hardly a damning error worthy of destructive fury, especially of one that knew they were fake.
It's either that, or you were stupid enough to believe we had received anything from Yakyakistan prior to your visit in the middle of an embargo. Although, if we did, it certainly wasn't in anything Twilight presented to you.
Regardless, the fact that you should have known they were likely fake meant that your reactions to these "affronts" to your country were blown so out of proportion that I almost forgot what caused them in the first place. The Mayor whipped up an extra-long damage report, courtesy of you and your escorts, that details your razing path through town. It even has "psychological scarring of little critters" as something worth billing, and after seeing the remains of some of your actions in person, I have no doubt that is valid.
And, well, this is a fair warning, but King Worcestershire will know about your imperfect actions today. He will know because I've instructed the mailmare to give this letter to you exactly two minutes after your father gets his, so that when you finish, you'll look into his grizzled eyes and wish you hadn't done what you did while he wasn't there.
As for the bill, I also told your father I would handle it, so long as he handles you. I'm more than certain he'll take up that offer since I enclosed an invoice listing off a bigger damage rackup than most college ponies can accrue in a week of hard partying.
I hope your bedroom door is perfectly built to withstand Yaks, Prince Rutherford. I do look forward to your father's reply once the deed is done.
Best wishes,
Princess Celestia
Luna, why the wide-eyed stare? Is that a letter from Cadance?
What do you mean, "I'm eating their house?" I told her that none of the buildings there are made out of rock candy!
Yes, I get why the Yaks thought it was edible too, but that problem is not a priority now! I need to--wait, I can't go. That's too confusing. You need to go and get her.
Wha--NO, sending a clone is what started this mess! YOU need to go out there, and I can watch over yours while you're gone.
Oh, trust me, I'm totally prepared. I've taken the precaution of studying a distraction spell just in case. Makes a red dot that's irresistible to catch.
NO, I won't use it on you. Maybe. Now that there's two of you, I have a 50/50 shot of getting it right, so... no hard feelings if I use it on you?
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Dear Luna, I have made a slight miscalculation. I need your help immediately. Get back here. Now. The spell backfired and affected me now I am only able to resist the red dot for a few minutes. MINE!
Laser pointer spell FTW!
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Yakkity-yak, don't talk back!
Hahahah I knew this one would be about the destrution. These are awesome! Keep doing them please!
Letter have typos. Letter not perfect, YAKS SMASH!
Some international incidents cut both ways. Sure, when you've cut yourself off from the rest of the world for who knows how long, you aren't exactly going to have the savviest diplomatic corps in the world, but there's a long gap between "rusty" and "rampaging."
I think there's some other pony you need to apologize to for butchering her name over and over again...
No, you did not spell it right.
Yes, it's "J" for "Jack"
Look, I don't care if that's a boy's name! Just get it right, Please...?
Those red dots sure are fun to catch, aren't they, Luna? Heh heh heh.
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Actually clones would work. They could beat up the clone to vent their frustrations at Equestria then, after they've calmed down, Luna swoops in and secures an agreement between the two nations
6156515
HOW DARE YOU
When I said please...
JK