• Published 24th Jan 2015
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Letters from an Irritated Princess - Tired Old Man



Celestia writes some blunt letters to her faithful student and friends.

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There Are No Strings When You Play With Shadows, Part 2

“Well, that trip was a bust.” Luna huffed, carrying a hefty amount of suitcases and bags in her grasp as she and her sister moved through town towards the castle.

“I know, right? Who knew the pegasi scheduled cloudy overcast this week?!” Celestia let out a deep sigh, carrying with her some bags of her own along with a few other bags carrying some souvenirs.

Luna rolled her eyes. “...Well, we could have if we bothered to request the weather schedule for San Prancisco.”

“Too little, too late sister. But at least the chowder was to die for.”

Despite the disappointment, Luna allowed herself a small smile at the silver lining. “Yes, I couldn’t agree more. Anyway, do you think they managed to stay in the tower?”

Celestia shook her head. “Not in the slightest. I’m hoping that perhaps they left Canterlot to go off on some big, new adventure for a new taffy flavor or something ridiculous along those lines.”

“What if they stayed in the castle?”

Celestia pursed her lips and looked downward. “Then I pray they’ve fooled ol’ graybeard long enough that banishment never came to mind.”

As the pair approached the massive set of double doors, Celestia stopped just a few steps short.

“Sister? Is something the matter?”

“...What if they didn’t fool him? What if they are gone, Luna?”

Luna sighed, but put on a warm smile, took a few steps toward Celestia, and promptly put a hoof on her shoulder. “Be strong, sister. We shall cross that bridge when and if we get there, together.”

Celestia nodded quietly, ushered on by her sister as they both stood inches away from the doors. The faint, familiar sound of jingling bells rang through the cracks, and Celestia winced—it left no doubt Starswirl was here.

Or maybe Sunny and Moony found some jingle sticks to fool around with, but Celestia had little room in her mind to entertain such optimism.

As the doors opened, the jingling noise grew louder and faster, seemingly approaching from the hallway on the west side of the throne room. Celestia held her breath as the bells rang in a rhythmic beat in time with hooves marching upon the marble floor. He was coming. Any moment now, that bell-laden wizard hat of his would exit out into the throne room!

Then came the hat she was looking for. Then… another hat worn by Moony? And a third on Sunny?!

Bags held by both princesses unceremoniously collapsed on the floor of the throne room, their thuds drowned out by the sound of what sounded like a Hearth’s Warming rave party.

Aghast, Celestia’s reaction came out in a slow, methodic, carefully selected choice of words. “What… the… bu—“

“Sister! Language!”

Starswirl, leading the trio of ponies, stopped when he noticed Celestia and Luna. He immediately raised a hoof to halt Sunny and Moony, and the bells fell quiet.

“...Starswirl, Sunny, Moony,” Luna greeted as she went down the line of giant hat-wearing ponies.

“Princess Luna, Princess Celestia,” Starswirl responded. “Glad to see you’re both back from your vacation. Did you have a good time?”

Luna shrugged. “‘Twas enjoyable, for what we could get out of it. Right, sister?”

“Yes, we did,” came Celestia’s rushed response before adding, “Also, quick question: What is going on here?!”

“Hm? Oh, this?” Starswirl smirked. “This is a conga line, Princesses! Care to join?”

That… well, that answered her question, but not everything. “...I am so very confused right now. I thought you were… how do I put this… hard-boiled?”

Sunny gasped. “Grandpa Swirly, you’re really part egg?!”

“Grandpa?!” Celestia and Luna exclaimed in unison.

Starswirl let out a hearty, mirthful laugh. “Hahaha… well, I suppose I am an egghead!”

“A-ha! I knew it all along!” She turned toward her sister. “Pay up, Moony!”

Moony grumbled and groaned before fishing a small pile of chocolate coins out of her cloak, hoofing them over to Sunny. “‘No way he’s gonna call himself an egghead,’ I said. ‘He doesn’t even know that word!’”

“Less whining, more chocolate please!” Sunny declared as she cashed in on her sweet winnings.

Starswirl stepped away from the coin-counting conga girls, closer to Celestia and Luna. In a lower, more private tone, he began, “Ahem. As for your question followed by an outburst, I’ve learned to be less judgmental of others over these past few days on behalf of your former student and her protege, and I’ve taken to the name. It’s quite catchy!”

Celestia shook her head in shock. “Okay, fine, but you hated being called that, especially by us.”

Starswirl slightly narrowed his eyes. “Well, that’s because your tone was patronizing.” He looked over his shoulder to Sunny and Moony, his expression changing to one of unrestrained elation. “However, from these two it’s far more endearing and genuine. They’re quite pleasant, much to my surprise!”

“So you were never going to send them away?” Luna asked.

“By the gods, no! I would rather banish you two.”

“Oh… HEY!”

“Hey Grandpa, I’m done counting!” Sunny interrupted, bearing a chocolate-covered grin. “Are we gonna keep our line going?”

“Oh, yes of course!” Starswirl took a small bow. “Sorry princesses, I’d love to stay and catch up, but Grandpa Swirly’s got some congaing to do!”

“Yippee!”

“Hooray,” Moony concurred with much less enthusiasm.

As the trio of jingle-belled ponies marched off toward the west hallway, Celestia and Luna stood in place, still in mild shock over the encounter.

“Luna?”

“Yes, sister?”

“That is not the same Starswirl we knew before.”

“I know. He’s certainly changed while we were gone.”

“Didn’t he used to be more… more…” Celestia trailed off, searching for a certain word.

“Cartoonishly sexist?” Luna offered.

Celestia’s eyes shot open. “What?! No! I was thinking angry, or upset, or easily agitated!”

“Oh. Those too, I suppose.”

Celestia huffed. “Whatever, at least he appears much more pleasant now, and the girls are still here. Let’s go unpack our bags before any more surprises happen.” Picking up her dropped bags and souvenirs, Celestia made her way toward the eastern hallway.

Luna followed right behind, her bags in magical tow. “Agreed. Also, we ought to start preparations for hosting Twilight’s Friendship Festival as well.”

“Ah, that’s right! That’s coming up soon.” Celestia stopped for a moment in thought. “Though, it is her festival to plan. Do we actually need to do anything?”

“For participating in the planning, or for being reasonably helpful in the event something goes wrong?”

“Participating,” Celestia answered without a second thought.

“Then if it’s anything like our festivals, we focus on smiling and waving.”

Celestia nodded. “Sounds like a good plan to me then!”

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