Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

What Kind of Family Reunion Only Serves Apples?

Dear Applesnack,

Your lesson learned is one of the most thought-out things I've read that I don't need context to appreciate, much to my shock and utter awe.

Family is a big thing. It's so huge, its importance trumps the size of my castle, for without family, we will always find a hole in our life that's just missing, empty and devoid of the love and happiness relatives have for each other, even if actual relations are tolerable at best. I'm happy you discovered the importance of that, especially since your family's sown so much seed across the land I wonder why it hasn't been renamed Applantis by now.

Also, some congratulations are in order. Your barn is officially the record holder for the building rebuilt the most in the entirety of Equestria.

Two hundred times it's fallen, and thanks to your family reunion, it beat the previous record held by Mayor Shaker's manor in Quakestown. Although in fairness to him, he's been rebuilding that thing in the hopes of it not falling apart in the yearly earthquakes that strike the town. Two hundred manors later, he finally got it right, while everypony else decided to be more reasonably sane and NOT build their home close to the fault line.

On the plus side, his design now makes homes in precarious locations much more feasible. That's the capability of a stubborn fool for you--sometimes they pull through with a stroke of genius through naught but sheer persistence, and it benefits those crazy enough to plant their home on the side of a mountai--

I'll need to ask for those designs later, and I think I'll pass them along to you if you feel you're just done with raising barns one day. Until then, I get the sneaking suspicion this record will just reach astronomical highs for you and your family, and will no doubt be passed on through your many, many generations of fruit-named youth.

Don't forget to tell Granny about this, either. She's seen that thing fall so often I get a kick out of my day when she sends me a letter telling me just exactly how the barn fell again, so I know she'll think on it.

Keep in touch,

Princess Celestia

What? Luna, I was joking about renaming the land Applantis.

Well, yes, technically it CAN be renamed that, but that needs to go through the proper channels first. I can't just go off and call the land Solaris like you can't with Mooningham. This needs petitions and campaigns to get enough ponies onboard with it. That won't happen overnight.

Plus, it gets rid of a name half-heartedly agreed to by the leaders of three races after a cold spell in the name of equality! Surely that means something to the ponies here, right?

Right?

Comments

[OminousBrony]

Oh Poor Foolish Celestia. Believing her ponies care about such things. I guess her long years of life still haven't crushed her hope and optimism... I wonder how much longer it will last.

[Aguion12 - GotA]

Mooninghan...

[Seether00]

Dear Princess Celestia,

Do you use deodorant? And if so, what brand?

[forgottengrimiore]

Princess luna can you send me the recipe for your moon cookies

[JediWaffles]

I wonder why it isn't renamed Applantis by now.

either removing renamed or replacing isn't with hasn't been makes more sense.

Two hundred and times it's fallen

extra and or missing word.

As for the end, I hope.

[Tired Old Man]

5802822

"I use a special blend hoof-crafted to smell of peaches, vanilla, and dragon musk. Just a drop of the last one though; it gives the impression that I can hold my own against dragons, and that I am not one to be screwed with.

But then there was the one time where they doubled the drops, and everyone got the wrong impression that day. Needless to say, I filed a complaint to Fabulosity and Finch.

Personally."

[Tired Old Man]

5802879

Oop, didn't catch those. Thanks for spotting them!

[Hurgusburgus]

Dear Applesnack

derpicdn.net/img/2013/10/27/457675/large.jpeg

You called?

[Meep the Changeling]

Perhaps you could remane it instead of rename? I suggest Bay-balon. Or perhaps Messapah-neigh-meia.

[Masterofgames]

Dear Princess Celestia,

What was the last time you had more than one personal student at a time? Also, does Princess Luna have anyone for a personal student?

[BlueYoshi]

Applejack's barn fell 200 times over the past thousand years? Geez, they're gonna need to build it with some sort of indestructible material or something in the future.

[RedvsBlue327]

5802789 It will probably take until their own version of the international information network is created, where the most common and mundane of nobody thoughts are recorded, including, but not limited to, "Our country should totally get renamed. Maybe Sodaland."

[Skarsnik]

If I was Celestia I will be worried about a family that has the money for rebuilding their farm so often x)

[howard035]

Dear Princess Celestia,
I'd be real careful with those petitions. The Apples are a very numerous family, and they have a lot of influence across Equestria. If you're lucky, your country will be renamed Applelantis. If not, well remember who named "Ponyville?" I hope you enjoy ruling over "Pony-country."

[Jphyper]

So they can afford to rebuild their barn two hundred times, but they have difficulty affording their grandmother's hip operation? Dang, and I thought our healthcare system was screwed...

[RandomBlank]

5802874
I'm afraid you'll have a difficulty obtaining the ingredients.
They are baked from moon dust, moon rocks, and Luna's tears. And despite that, surprisingly tasty.

[Rhulain]

5803775

Just WHY do you think they can't afford it? They have to spend so much on repairs

[user123]

5804595
But her hip is more important.
Or ask celestia or Luna...they deserve money from the crown...

[user123]

Hmm, equality, why does that sound familiar? *end sarcastic comment*

[Pinklestia]

Yeah, no wonder they thought Pinkie pie was related to them.

[Lady GryphonInia]

Celestia still cannot get Applejack's name right ROFL

[Waterpicker]

5802961 Yea there have to be a point where the highly expensive durable metal is an investment and not an expense.

[The Cynical Brony]

5806613 He called people who dislike the episode for valid reasons idiots simply because they didn't like it.

Also I DID see your review... I am unimpressed

Sorry to hear. Mind explaining why?

[Xuncu]

You can hear the awkward blinks after the mountainside and name bit.

[WorldWalker128]

5807210
Haven't played it recently, but yeah. Newgrounds was the most popular site back in middle school and I'm 26 now, so I've known about it for quite some time.

[ssokolow]

Although in fairness to him, he's been rebuilding that thing in the hopes of it not falling apart in the yearly earthquakes that strike the town. Two hundred manors later, he finally got it right, while everypony else decided to be more reasonably sane and NOT build their home close to the fault line.

[LeopardCay]

Applesnack

noblepig.com/images/2013/09/Chunky-Apple-Snack-Cake-chunky-apples.jpg

Mmmmm... Snacks.

[Oubliette]

5803988 Obviously. In RWBY, Adam survives all of the first season on the moon.
media.tumblr.com/d5066b98dea913756b6f98d5ebe2aaf9/tumblr_inline_mut5prgjrK1rltz3k.png
See?

[DarkSpark]

Applesnack

Star Paladin SteelHooves?

[Moonlight Tome]

7192114
2 ways I can react:
1. Closer, Celestia, but that's your current recipient's coltfriend.
2.

[Ruthpern81]

So, what is with Celestia mispronouncing Applejack's name? I think i missed something?