Twilight's Time in the Spotlight
Princess Twilight Sparkle,
I'm so happy to see that you received your first grossly unflattering photo. The way you just tore into that Hayburger couldn't have been better short of you holding a hoofful of Hayfries and going whole-hog on that meal like Pinkie Pie would.
However, I do understand that you're a bit upset about that photograph being a source of remarkable defamation, but trust me, it's good for you! So long as it isn't something super-scandalous like sharing a kiss with a foreign dignitary or anything staining your ethics, the results of such minor issues only serve as platforms for you to stand on common ground with others around you. The less deified you appear, the better.
The ability to save face in the worst of times is something you should not overlook, my former student. That said, your actions and reactions to such "bad" publicity will absolutely determine how the public will perceive you, and the worst thing you can do at this point is deny it for something this petty. It's just food--there's no need to sweat anything over eating a burger.
Now, when you're inevitably questioned about this by the tens of hundreds or reporters that will probably swarm your library once they catch wind of another face-stuffing princess, what you should do is accept it with dignity. No "holier than thou" or any sort of vaguely condescending talk, just a good and honest, "Yes, I ate at Hayburgers, and it was good." Something modest without degrading some demographic or being too wordy--be VERY careful with how you dictate it. I don't want the Canterlot Courier going off on a wild tangent again with all princesses eating at Hayburgers and lovin' it. The LAST thing I want is to be associated with a facetious ad campaign again.
I once visited a restaurant that served such horrendous cuisine I called it, "Anything but edible. It's the worst! I would rather eat raw biscuit dough from a time than come here again." Three days later they threw up a poster with my smiling face. "Anything but... the worst! I would... come here again!" Never have I seen one of my quotes so horrendously butchered before then.
Sure, I was thought of as crazy for "generously" describing their food that way, and PR was a nightmare as I struggled to describe exactly what I ate there, literally. It had... a form, a smell, a texture... but it was not of this world, and I mean that in the worst sense possible. Sadly, that doesn't translate well when that was interpreted into "otherworldly and exotic," and the whole ordeal just went on and on for months on end, egged on by those two terrible owners.
I digress. Twilight, just... be careful. If you're not, you'll find yourself caught in a firestorm that no extinguisher can easily put out.
Best regards and well wishes,
Princess Celestia
Gods! Luna, knocking is common courtesy at this hour! What could possibly--
That... wow, that's a big Hayburger. It barely fit through the door frame.
A challenge? Luna, you can't possibly be asking--
Oh ho ho, you really think you can eat more of this burger than I can? Game on, sister! But, uh, did you bring napkins?
Good--we'll need a carpet of them on the floor. I have a feeling this will get really messy.
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... I want a burger that big.
... "Barely fit through the door frame," but we don't know if it came through a single, double or the doors of the balcony.
5951517
Care to share?
Sounds tasty...
5951530
Hell no! I'm hongry as a mufugga.
5951530
"Doesn't matter, ate burger."
(It came through the double doors.)
That is a REALLY big burger. Do alicorns have stomachs that are bigger on the inside or something? I don't see how else they could eat a burger that big in one sitting.
5951517
Aurora, I have something to show you...
pabook.libraries.psu.edu/palitmap/DennysRachaelRay.jpg
I THINK That might be their 125 pound burger, but if not, I have to keep looking.
5951579
All that extra food goes to feeding the fundamental forces of the universe. Like burning balls of gas that are aflame millions of miles away! Or used as fuel to help prevent weirdness in the tides as the moon dances across the sky.
Soon, Twilight will be constantly eating in order to feed the void that threatens to erupt with non-euclidean horrors if the barriers between our dimensions is not maintained with calories!
Is there something you'd like to tell us, Princess?
5951595 I imagined it being bigger.
5951742
The one I actually wanted to find is actually MUCH bigger, but I couldn't find it so went wiht that one.
5951661
This is fun.
5951556
What if you made it
by removing a few letters?
5951541 Don't be greedy. A burger that big, I think you can just afford to share.
5951595
;-; Omi. You up for a burger run? I could totally use one of those, man.
5951661
"I have just one thing to say to you, Scrabble lover.
Well played."
5951841
They are in some town in Pennsylvania, bit too far away for me, even though I wish I could have one.
How about these ones.
bitrebels.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/bigburger1.jpg
thatssoyummy.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/biggest-burger.jpg
Not quite messy enough for the hayburger as shown in the show though.
5951579 Maybe Celestia's stomache is part Tardis.
Huh. Sounds like there's some equine analogue of Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler out there. Yikes.
5952063
yeah, I guess that's true
This was the only pic I was able to find with Twilight Sparkle and a giant hay burger in it.
derpicdn.net/img/2014/3/24/584193/medium.png
Also, I'm glad that Celestia did not go bonkers over Twilight eating a hay burger after looking back over this chapter.
5952354
Well, it must be an alicorn thing.
5954366
You are cruel. You know...
I'VE Lost the Game...
again again...
You too by the way -
5952054
So we waiting for a Dr Whooves story, with the Doctor wandering through the TARDIS just to find a room filled to the brim with Princess Celestias stomach contents.
This... could be fun.
Gross but fun.
Now I'm hungry.
cdn.playbuzz.com/cdn/4aca9418-f2f1-405c-a956-f2c92a440c4f/45d372c4-4926-4b82-833c-573e174329c0.gif
5957252 How do you think Twi will react to the Big Mac? Do you think she's gonna be lovin' it?
mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Gary-Ba-Dum-Tss-Drum-Meme-Reaction-Gif-On-Spongebob-SquarePants.gif
5957197
derpicdn.net/img/2014/2/22/559236/full.gif
Maybe Twi will share?
i180.photobucket.com/albums/x266/K0Z_01/1393099179000.gif~original
Maybe not...
An inter-Princess eating contest?
It. Would. So. Be. On. /) (Not that I expect to win, mind you, but the food would taste good.)
5953222 That's been my headcanon ever since Gabby Gums' cake photo hit the stands...
It shows Twilight's world-class style that she uses a burger to wipe the sauce from her face, before eating it.
8180312
This has to be the best comment I've ever read on this site. Possibly ever.