Captain Spitfire,
The Wonderbolts are a group known for being wise and tactful in their snap decisions for taking down some of the most unstable weather patterns in Equestrian history. It's a job that requires thinking in the heat of the moment, minds unmuddled by supposition and no reliance on blind judgment. Such is the legacy of the name Wonderbolt: to quickly pull off miracles in ways no others could do in a short amount of time.
So when I heard about the incident involving your disappearance, I expected it to be a brisk investigation, with no stone left unturned, no drawer unopened, and no curtains unchecked.
What I did not expect was a left-field accusation from Wind Rider against Rainbow Dash to go unopposed by any of the other Wonderbolts, then insisting she prove herself innocent of a crime she supposedly committed. Since when have we taken an inquisitorial approach for a military official's questionable disappearance?
Furthermore, if all of them suspected Rainbow Dash of the crime, why did they give her free access to the crime scene without an approved escort? And no, Rarity doesn't count, as she was a friend investigating on behalf of Rainbow Dash. Didn't they have any speck of common sense in thinking that Rainbow and Rarity might resort to means of lower integrity to prove her innocence? Not that I believe that would ever happen, but for a group that's prepared to tackle nearly every possibility, this is an amazing oversight left unacknowledged.
But maybe they were too focused on what they were going to do for the show later on, or perhaps far too occupied looking around the castle for you, and somehow couldn't spare a single pair of eyes themselves for fear of forgetting their flying routines, or coming up with new ones to make up for one less flying Wonderbolt. Then in that case, they should have alerted a guard to the situation. A situation, mind you, that I only found out about when I smelled some of Cinnamon Chai's baking prowess gracing my hallways, and a few guards that stunk of that decadent cake.
Incidentally, those secret cake-munching guards also got a stern lecture regarding the fact that they seem to have forgotten about the resting lounge I had set aside for them--the resting lounge they ate the cake in--and how I'd asked them to never overwork themselves. Tired guards are sloppy guards, but to insist I've never given them that sort of slack? Well, if they thought I'd cracked the whip before now, they know otherwise as of today.
But enough about my guard discipline--they are not the only ones to trigger my ire. Spitfire, pass this onto your Wonderbolts. What I ask of you is something small, easy to maintain. It shouldn't require too much thought, because it should be obvious from the get-go. Please, for all that is good and sacred, exercise some common sense before I exercise mine and discharge the lot of you. Don't worry, the Wonderbolt name won't go away--you've enlisted more than enough reserves for me to finally have the option of committing a full team replacement by now.
However, I do appreciate the Wonderbolts doing at least one smart thing today and stripping Wind Rider of his status. Good fortune has smiled upon us, because Rarity's investigation alone did not prove beyond a shadow of a doubt he had done it. She did prove that somepony else could have had the opportunity to plant the note, but that's all. The stained scarf implicating Rider could have been written off as a coincidence in that he "bumped" into the real culprit carrying the cake, and were it not for Rarity's persistence and his prompt confession, I have no doubt some attorney with half a brain would easily make that defense for him on a later court date.
But more importantly, that means I get to add his name to the invitation blacklist! For a good reason, too--that abysmal cologne of his is so pungent, other ponies wondered why I smelled like a stallion trying too hard to get a date. I was even using my other hoof to greet ponies, and they still smelled it on me. That's downright obnoxious to wear a scent so powerful it spreads to other ponies on contact--dogs have more respect for the trees they mark.
Anyway, keep up the good work, and ONLY the good work, Spitfire, or else Rainbow Dash might take your place. For good.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Right, where were we? Ah yes, I think Colonel Mustang killed Miss Pennywise in the Alchemy Chamber with a wicked tome!
Of course I know he's not a unicorn! He beat down the poor old stallion with the book, Luna Two! The book screamed and everything!
Look, I know it's dubious, but that's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Can anyone prove me wrong?
...well, fine. I guess I was wrong then. Thanks, Tia Two. And wipe that silly grin off your face!
You know, the only one who accused RD of doing it was Wind Rider (for obvious reasons). The other two Wonderbolts merely pointed out that things that lined up that made it reasonable that she was most likely candidate.
No one said she was guilty, Soarin' merely told her if she could find the culprit before the show she can fly with them. He also warned her that if she did send the letter then she would have to suffer the consequences. No different than telling someone "If the investigation proves that you did it, you're guilty".
LATER
later is fine
pre04.deviantart.net/dd7c/th/pre/i/2015/236/c/7/spikey_0000_by_hillbe-d971wsp.jpg
Spike thee Dragon as Garden Spade.....
Just fire them all.
After the show's airing, if you wouldn't mind. Not everyone is willing or able to watch the leaked episode before it's official release (I fall into the former category myself), so in the interest of avoiding spoilers, I would request holding it until then.
Otherwise, at least note it in the chapter immediately previous that is what the next chapter will be so that those whi have not seen it by that point know to not read that chapter until the appropriate juncture.
6448043 That's why I dont understand all the fan anger towards the Wonderbolts about this episode. They handled it better than most RL sports/military organizations would. It's basically standard practice that a person accused of misconduct is suspended until a full inquiry is done.
The only thing I can fault the Wonderbolts over is the lack of escort, which this chapter is the only time Ive seen it mentioned by anyone. Even that can be explained that they were all busy making sure their stunt routine was polished enough for the performance. RD was their only backup on the scene, so all the others would've had to fly together to make sure the routine was perfected.
Probably this.
I say later just to have confirmed proof that it actually is a leaked episode. Anyway, I actually have only seen the hundredth episode this season, so reading this stuff is especially fun for me.
6448091
"Which is why I pointed out that if they were to keep themselves that occupied with the performance, they should have informed a guard of the situation so this could be handled in a professional manner.
And I did not explicitly state Rainbow Dash was guilty, only that she was suspected of commiting the crime. I also found fault with them all jumping on the 'she did it!' bandwagon, and none but Rarity leaping to her defense. Loyalty is such a hard thing to come by these days with them."
6448091 there's a lot of people acting like Dash was accused of committing a crime that could put her in jail, instead of accused of personal misconduct that could get her tossed from a team
6448153 RD was the only one with a noticeable motive and opportunity. Any crime/misconduct investigation would've had her as the prime suspect, and any military/organization would've benched a prime suspect until they were cleared of fault.
As for loyalty, they were loyal to Spitfire and Wind Rider. As Wind Rider is one of their oldest and most respected living members, they would naturally side with him when he points out RD as the most likely culprit(even if RD saved them in the past). They're already angry that their captain was duped in such a dishonorable way, it's no wonder they quickly turn on an obvious suspect that a proven, legendary member points out.
Later, if you don't mind. I have no intention of watching things out of order and ruining a future Saturday by watching the episode early, so at least post a warning before that chapter if nothing else.
Out of curiosity, is the "abysmal cologne" bit a reference to the fact that the one who voiced Wind Rider is the person who gave his voice to Leisure Suit Larry?
We know Rainbow Dash would never do such a thing.....
(Fall Weather Friends), I mean, she wouldn't do something like that now (Tanks for the Memories). on second thought its lucky that the wonderbolt didn't call in the guards.
At least they're not getting the royal guards in yet. (plus it didn't rainbow she would do ANYTHING for that race and she dream about it for years.) and for the record it was only (Three one being Windrider) soarin was being reasonable plus there was the fact they didn't have time for a formal investigation since RD only has until the start of the performance to prove her innocence (or rather prove someone else's guilt).
Please post it after the normal airing!
Definitely wait until the official airing.
As for this week's episode, yeah, a few corners had to be cut to fit a mystery plot into the episode, especially with the opener reserved for exposition. That leads to some strained common sense when looked at nondiegetically. Really, Celestia's being quite nice here.
What's the leaked episode?
6448076 Once wrote an idea -not a fic, just a post in a group's forum thread- of Blueblood being the paperwork regulator and so forth for the guard... and him doing just that on the basis of the Wonderbolts' sheer incompetence, repeated as it is, and how such incompetence could risk ponies' lives. Didn't outright fire them from any guard duty. He had them reassigned to train under Shining Armor... with hopes his, in my head-canon anyway, brother-in-law would whip or beat these idiots into shape. He IS the captain of the guard after all.
You know, this shows that Celestia would make a terrible investigator. not only does she seem to ignore the fact that the only one who accused RD of doing it was Wind Rider and two others (And that only cause certain stuff makes lined up in that ep. (Not to mention that rainbow dug her grave with 'i would do anything' Which combine with rainbow past action like say the accidental destruction for the rainbow factory in a ill-advise attempt to stop hibernation. (You don't have to be a detective to see she a prime suspect alone for past actions.)
Soarin (Spitfire second in command) was not only realize that there a chance rainbow is innocent and doesn't call the guards and even gives time to proves her proves innocence (When you consider they have NO TIME for proper investigation.) so tries to find Spitfire instead. heck as second-in-command he could have easily kicked Rainbow Dash out of the Wonderbolts right then and there, especially with the others so sure of her guilt. Instead, he gave Rainbow Dash a chance to prove her innocence.
and as Eonmaster pointed out and i quote
quite frankly it be odder still if they didn't.
I think this is the reason why fans see Luna as the general of the two during the olden days. And the worst insult that celestia treats the letter as if the whole thing was a jailing punishment when in truth it was just a misconduct. quite frankly i be surprise if spitfire doesn't write and tell Celestia what for.
In response to the notes, I would suggest that you wait until after the episode has been officially released.
Also, I'm glad that you mentioned about the scene where Wind Rider kissed Celestia's hoof.
I think you should wait until the episode's released. Great chapter!
6448203
"True, but they failed at that basic thing, didn't they? As I said, they lacked the common sense to even follow standard protocol in a situation like this.
Also, loyalty to Spitfire is something of a toss-up after the stunt she pulled at Rainbow Falls. Even if Soarin was quite forgiving of that incident, that doesn't make her the most reliable pony around these days.
However, I meant loyalty more in terms of betraying it in that they immediately suspected one of their own based on a single inside-job accusation before even considering the possibility that someone that wasn't a Wonderbolt wanted Spitfire gone. Like Rarity, hypothetically speaking.
However, ironically enough, that happens to be the case for one ex-Wonderbolt now."
Also, for the ones that thought Celestia was accusing the whole group of accusing Rainbow instead of just Wind Rider, that was a legit flub in information. That's been corrected. Thanks, folks!
Release it after it actually comes out so those who haven't seen the leak can avoid spoilers.
6448577
I believe it was called "Scare-Master" or something; can't believe there had been a leak recently.
6449124
okay i know this was in respone to EonMaster but i have to say something. A) It's quite possible that the Wonderbolts want to keep this entire thing internal what with the possibility if Rainbow Dash is guilty, then the scandal WOULDN'T be good for the bolt's rep, and it's doubtful would go BECAUSE of that and again as may pointed (myself included) they decided to let RD and rarity clear the former name (I like to think its a mix of being equestria savor and them still owing RD one for saving there lifes.)
2) whether they were loyal to spitfire, or not you can't exactly be a bitch toa worrying mother who she thought had a disease with one cure, a cure mind you that only grows in one place and is almost completely during said season. i mean like me telling said i poison luna with alicorn disease with one cure on the other side of the globe when in truth she fine and playing video games
3) as for Rainbow falls, let me point possible alternative explaination. Though it most certainly did look like Spitfire was the bad guy, one way of looking at it was that she, Fleetfoot, and possibly Soarin' deliberately put themselves in that role to test Dash character, in which case she (again!) passed with flying colors. I mean think about it, don't you find it just a LITTLE odd that instead of getting mad or even upset at being called out, Spitfire and Fleetfoot are all smiles, as if they were happy that RD reach that conclusion, perhaps?
Celestia, you've gotta clean house with those Wonderbolts. Wind Rider was one of the most respected 'bolts of all time, how many of the current crop did he mentor? And your current captain, the one who betrayed her 2nd in command to try and gain an edge in a time trial she was going to qualify for anyway? Not to mention the fact that Spitfire is the same mare who was grooming a reckless sociopath as her top recruit and Lightning Dust would probably be a Wonderbolt today if not for a group of civilians flying into restricted airspace. You got a whole bunch of rotten apples there, not a few.
Also, you're not fooling anyone about Wind Rider, we saw you digging his moves! I think half the ponies at that event thought Wind Rider would be promoted to "personal guard" by the end of the night.
A fan of FMA are you?
6449448
"1) Frankly, it doesn't matter whether Rainbow or Wind Rider was found to be the culprit--the scandal and their 'preserved' reputation wouldn't be preserved for long because both of them were highly honored, the former being a world savior many times over and a hopeful Wonderbolt protege, and the latter formerly being one of the most respected Wonderbolts and holding an astounding flight record. This news would still have reached me and the rest of the media, even if they had succeeded in keeping this internal, since somepony would be stripped of their title eventually, and somepony would be there to ask questions why. But unsurprisingly, they didn't keep it secret for long. In fact, the only way they could keep anything secret from me is through meticulous paperwork, like the fact they didn't have the Wonderbolt Reserves set up until recently.
2) I am not mad at Spitfire for anything regarding this incident. Pegacitis is a very serious condition, and one that must be treated with utmost of haste, so the fact that she left quickly without asking too many questions is quite reasonable.
However, the fact that the Wonderbolts behaved as they did in her absence has me questioning whether or not the current Wonderbolt team is really worth keeping as they are. What they've done in the past heroically is quite commendable, but when they act outside of that heroism, I'm met with nothing but shameless deceit and disappointment. So I issued her a warning; now that the Reserves are fully up and running, she could be replaced at the drop of a writing quill. While I had barely tolerated their shenanigans prior to the formation of the Reserves, now there's only so much crap I can stomach from them before I have to start purging it.
And if I'm honest, I really do want to purge and get it over with.
3) So, let me get this straight.
You are asking me to believe that Spitfire, Fleetfoot and Soarin (or at least the first two) conspired to test Rainbow Dash's loyalty prior to the upcoming Equestria Games, and did so by purposefully capitalizing on Soarin's flight injury, with or without his knowledge and/or consent. And that they did this showing a remarkable degree of intelligence in their actions, instead of playing off getting caught in the act and trying to save face after making a blatant grab for an advantage in a competition.
I appreciate the amount of effort you put into this theory. I really do, and I'd love to entertain a fantasy where they actually were that smart. Taking it a step further, I'd adore living in a world where all the seemingly ridiculous actions everyone takes can be rationally explained with superior intellect and respectable ulterior motives. The world would just run itself, and I wouldn't complain about anything, because everyone has the flawless reasoning to back their actions. I wouldn't even have to write any railing letters in such a world, right?
But that world does not exist, and they are not that smart. They. Are. Not."
6449813 First of all i added POSSIBLY soarin (It was just a theory) as well as possibly keeping it to themselves (Again only a theory).
well tecnically the one who did it was a retired one this time. (And For the record, minus Wind Rider, and including Soarin', there are 7 Wonderbolts present and if subtract soarin and the two who were hostile that leave four who while they were suspicious they never flat-out said Rainbow was the guilty party and they didn't have time to play nice when somepony had caused their leader to go missing.)
You called?
vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/fma/images/0/0d/Roy_Mustang.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20100617003934
Also, he's a "spitfire" too....
I'll see myself out...
A genderbent Pennywise; given the actor, that makes a certain amount of sense; creepy and unusual, but still...
As to the tome, where is Ash when you need him?
Is Celestia still answering reader mail?
Dear Princess Celestia,
Suddenly your guards are more colorful.
You were secretly making them all in the mirror pool, before, weren't you?
Hay, they're playing Cluedo!!!
I rather like this one. :3
These names are as unoriginal as the clones' names in the alternate intro to Pokemon: The First Movie: Mewtwo Strikes Back.
6516059
What would you prefer, doubled letters within the name like Luuke Skywalker from the no-longer-canon EU novels?