My faithful student,
Is this your idea of a joke?
Diamond Dogs do not share, nor do they care. They barely even notice the fleas on their fur. Their clothes are horrid and ragged, and the pockets on them hardly suit holding anything but the largest of gems that don't fall through the holes.
And after reading your report, I am to believe that I can be great friends with them after their leader called my mother "a whorse that even a Minotaur wouldn't love."
Surely you know how huge of a stretch that is after HER little incident. I can't just apologize and offer up some of our treasury after what she did to theirs; they'll insist on all of it, and I won't have our economy crash because of one pony's ridiculously bad timing and worse self-restraint.
But... it can't hurt to try and talk, I suppose. I could have worse things to do with my time.
Like the day court proceedings. Those go phenomenally slow, with me sitting on my throne, listening to petty complaints all day.
"Clouds and rain are the worst thing in Manehatten! They ruin my good spray tan!" "I lost all my money in Las Pegasus to a rigged game! I demand a refund!" "Trixie motions to have wheels removed from all carriages! I even have a signed petition of ten thousand ponies asking for its removal!"
That last one was special. I checked the petition, and it had her name signed on it ten thousand times. It was immaculate, almost like she did it before in school.
Unfortunately, I had to turn her down on the grounds that they can't be all her signature. Even if she thinks she's the most important mare, and therefore it's only her name that matters most. What a great argument to use in front of a princess, right?
Oh, and she also mentioned your name. Do you know her? Because I don't, even though she claimed to go to the same school as you. I can't remember for the life of me anyone like her, though.
Oh well. If she becomes your problem, I'm sure you'll know how to handle it. Who knows, she might be one of these enemies-turned-friends.
Love,
Princess Celestia
P.S. Extend my thanks to Appleback for her present. This dog whistle will come in handy.
Luna, get ready. We're going to visit the dogs again, and have a nice talk.
I know it went bad last time, but I'm certain we'll come to an agreement.
No, I have a better idea than the ball. Bring your trumpet.
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Appleback? Seriously, Tia...
Oh, that dog whistle is going to work so well.
Hahaha!
5611273
I almost expect Celestia to crack a joke about Applesmacking that Appleback at some point.
She (doesn't) feel their pain.
and there goes my sides, I just got them back damn it
5611295 At this point? I would not be surprised.
Bahaha dos whistle will do well!
As in my head canon D-Dogs are basically MLP version of dwarfs with problems in pronouncing Equestrian, treating them like something between an animal and a caveman isn't my favorite thing.
Besides that, nice chapter and awesome story.
I like how Celestia does not remember Applejack's real name and calls her based on what she thinks on top of her head. It's a great running gag IMO.
5611527 derpicdn.net/img/2013/12/6/491243/large.png
KILL HER WITH FIRE!
Having Diamond Dogs as 'always chaotic evil' IMHO feels TOO out of place in the pony verse.
Does Celestia EVEN KNOW that Twilight is talking about the ponies and buffalo?!
And you think she'd react more to Pinkie Pie proving to not be perfect and infallible and actually making the situation worse or at least give her some bitter satisfaction.
Okay I know I said this before but...
RARITY! HAS! NOTHING! TO! APOLOGIZE! FOR! THEY! FOALNAPPED! HER! YOU! STUPID! PRINCESS!
There! Got that off my chest.
5612352
But theoretically, Rarity could have been in their territory. And kidnapping what amounted to a faceless nobody who happens to be good at finding gems is not the same order of magnitude as the amount of plunder the Diamond Dogs surrendered (or the shame of them surrendering it in the first place). Yes, she's the element of Generosity, but so far that hasn't amounted to much within the series in terms of fame/importance. It's not like the Diamond Dogs knew or cared about that.
Even if she doesn't deserve all this anger from Celestia, the fact is that she SHOULD be on the receiving end. Politics aren't logical, or if they are it follows a logic of assuaging pride, economy, and reputation. It doesn't matter that Rarity is unaware of the implications of her actions. The actions happened, and they had very real political results that severely disrupted diplomatic relations and economic dealings. The Diamond Dogs would be well within their rights to demand extreme punishment for Rarity under these circumstances, especially since their overarching government had nothing to do with the dogs that kidnapped her. And, once again, if she was that close to their territory (seeing as the tunnels were incredibly near) then she would have been trespassing and they had the sovereign right to imprison her and/or sentence her to hard labor.
5612319
"So let me get this straight. From this letter, not only am I supposed to know what event caused her to learn the lesson, but also where she was and who she was with at the time.
What, was I supposed to sniff the paper and get faint whiffs of apple pie? Taste the dirt flecks on it and discover trace amounts of clay and hard earth? Do I look like an unorthodox genius detective to you?
Barring that, the report from Appaloosa was similarly vague, stating that the buffalo stampede was caused by a singing pink pony in showmare clothes, but the conflict resolved itself thanks to a bunch of pies.
Their new treaty is now called the Running of the Bulls. How original.
Gods, reports like this are why I'm thankful Mayor Mare gives me names of ponies in hers."
~Celestia
5612872 I see what you're saying but I disagree. There is nothing in that episode that even remotely suggests that Rarity was in violation of their territory. In fact, the others ran to that area in the time it took for Spike to get his breath back. Thus suggesting it was not very far from Ponyville. I'm certain that is soveriegn Equestrian territory and as such, the Dogs kipnapped an Equestrian citizen with no legal grounds to do so. Yes, Rarity did end up taking a lot from them (as compensation), but if the Diamond Dog Government were to ask nicely I reckon Rarity would give some of it back. Also, if these Dogs aren't doing what their government said to do, e.g. they're acting on their own, then why would it matter to that government that these Dogs were embarrassed/humiliated? I get that diplomace and politics aren't always logical, but I think Celestia should be using this as leverage. A 'your citizens are kidnapping my citizens, and you dare to refuse us some onyx!?' kind of approach.
I love this series, and my favorite part of it is definitely the half conversation we hear between Celestia and Luna. I'm sorta waiting for Celestia to argue with Luna about whether or not she is overweight. "No Luna, I don't care what you say! I weigh more than any other pony because compared to me ever other pony is a midget!"
5612934
I figured it was logical, that an OCD nut like Twilight Sparkle, would have included MORE than just her Friendship Report, and would have also included a detailed summary of events to inform her princess of the brief war that happened on their borders.
5613009 I can't help but to interject upon happily taking MLP socioeconomical, political, and cultural canon world-building a little too seriously again
"Territory" could be a broader term for the DDs. I don't see why an expanded civilization for the DDS couldn't incorporate both terran (that is, above ground) and subterranean distinctions for the term "territory".
Perhaps Rarity was trespassing by extracting gems from subterranean territory?
Am I missing something here? Is the point behind these letters to make Celestia so unlikable that it makes the reader want to quit reading? Because it's really close to working. For all the funny and heart-warming moments (usually with Luna) that I see in this story, it's moments like the one I quoted above that both ruin most of the enjoyment I've got out of it, and make me want to drop it. In fact, I've just realized that the letter part of the chapter is usually the weakest part.
I know I'm probably being too harsh, but why are parts like the one I quoted necessary? They're wrong on so many levels that it's just ridiculous, they make the character seem utterly idiotic and unlikable, and they add nothing to the story.
5628654 celestia isn't mad about ehr gettign idnapped.she's just upset that rarity took adavantage of her kidnappers to get all their gems while celestia was negotiating with the dog leaders. she's upset cause this has lead to problems dealing with the leaders of the dogs. She is not blaming her for getting kidnapped, just venting frustration.
also, according to thsi storya t elast, diamond dogs are not very nice creatures tog et along with anyway.
5612872 5613009
It's called Diamond Ridge, and the Diamond Dogs have clearly been living there for many years, judging by their tunnels. It seems pretty clear to me this area is considered the property of the Diamond Dog tribe. Just like the buffalo, Equestria has clearly grown around indigenous tribes, one of which is the Diamond Dogs. Their focus may be underground, but from all those holes they clearly consider their claim to the mineral rights to go up the surface. Rarity says at the beginning she has been digging there for years, I believe that's called "claim-jumping."
Of course, that doesn't excuse them kidnapping her for a few hours, nor is it clear the Diamond Dogs were planning to free her once they had gotten a certain quota of gems, these aren't nice dogs. Still, all those piles of gems she confiscated, along with all the other gems in her boutique (which she presumably swiped from their land), really makes you think.
5612307 I agree, which is why I like the addition of a different, more civilized tribe in the comics. That tribe calls themselves a kingdom, it wouldn't surprise me if those were the dogs Celestia was negotiating with, and the Diamond Ridge tribe was some sort of vassal state that was going to supply the onyx.
5612124
hey, that's my google plus profile picture!
They could use Fluttershy to tame the dogs.
5794041
True.
But our ways more fun. *Picks up baseball bat*
5612307
More like Chaotic Stupid.
That's right your highness! Blame Rarity for being foal-napped and your negotiations going sour.
I'm sure that's in no way completely unjustified.
Little known fact, in the airless environment of the Moon, Luna invented freeform trumpet jazz, however it wasnt until her return that she realised she was just pressing the buttons without actually playing