My faithful student,
Is this your idea of a joke?
Diamond Dogs do not share, nor do they care. They barely even notice the fleas on their fur. Their clothes are horrid and ragged, and the pockets on them hardly suit holding anything but the largest of gems that don't fall through the holes.
And after reading your report, I am to believe that I can be great friends with them after their leader called my mother "a whorse that even a Minotaur wouldn't love."
Surely you know how huge of a stretch that is after HER little incident. I can't just apologize and offer up some of our treasury after what she did to theirs; they'll insist on all of it, and I won't have our economy crash because of one pony's ridiculously bad timing and worse self-restraint.
But... it can't hurt to try and talk, I suppose. I could have worse things to do with my time.
Like the day court proceedings. Those go phenomenally slow, with me sitting on my throne, listening to petty complaints all day.
"Clouds and rain are the worst thing in Manehatten! They ruin my good spray tan!" "I lost all my money in Las Pegasus to a rigged game! I demand a refund!" "Trixie motions to have wheels removed from all carriages! I even have a signed petition of ten thousand ponies asking for its removal!"
That last one was special. I checked the petition, and it had her name signed on it ten thousand times. It was immaculate, almost like she did it before in school.
Unfortunately, I had to turn her down on the grounds that they can't be all her signature. Even if she thinks she's the most important mare, and therefore it's only her name that matters most. What a great argument to use in front of a princess, right?
Oh, and she also mentioned your name. Do you know her? Because I don't, even though she claimed to go to the same school as you. I can't remember for the life of me anyone like her, though.
Oh well. If she becomes your problem, I'm sure you'll know how to handle it. Who knows, she might be one of these enemies-turned-friends.
Love,
Princess Celestia
P.S. Extend my thanks to Appleback for her present. This dog whistle will come in handy.
Luna, get ready. We're going to visit the dogs again, and have a nice talk.
I know it went bad last time, but I'm certain we'll come to an agreement.
No, I have a better idea than the ball. Bring your trumpet.