Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

Princess Celestia Has Dyed, Part 3

Journal Entry, dated… eh, it’s Tuesday and I’m still pink. I guess that makes it Pink Tuesday.

So, I learned exactly why I’ve been seeing far too many things as pink. Somepony stuck pink-tinted contacts on my eyes last night.

Ordinarily, this would have been a difficult thing to accomplish. But ever since Sunny and Moony thought it’d be funny to drop bowls of their leftover moon dust frosting on my head, I’ve been sleeping with my eyes open to ward off their sweet sneak attacks. Although I will say that their frosting was horrifyingly delectable. It’s like eating a monster made out of cotton candy!

Unfortunately, my solution to their deviant behavior left my eyes vulnerable to sabotage as I slept. I don’t know if they figured it out on their own, but I do know that whoever knew I was doing it to ward them off had the chance to plant the contacts.

And, frankly, that narrows down my list significantly to those that I’ve told about this nighttime solution, whom I’ve sworn to secrecy to keep it away from Sunny and Moony’s anxious, listening ears. And while I’d love to believe this excludes the Pink One, that’s a laughable notion.

Of course she knows. She always knows.

But all the same, I’ll speak with the first pony I’ve truly told of this particular habit. I realize today’s been incredibly busy, what with her taking on a few of my duties as I spent most of my afternoon trying (and failing) to scrub off this horrid pink color off of my coat. I could tolerate this kind of color for my hair—heck, a third of my mane and tail still keeps said natural color—but turning my whole body this color makes me feel… doll-like. Plasticky. I don’t like this one bit.

...What if I shave it off? Yes, I can regrow my coat, can’t I? Light bleaching, a touch of magic mojo, a loofah and a pumice stone aren’t cutting it, so why not actually cut it?

No, Tia! Stop thinking so drastically. Just get Luna to help. She’ll help, she’s a good sister. A great sister that may or may not have done this to me, but will surely be there in my time of need.

...Right? I mean, sure, she knows when I’m sleeping, certainly has free access to my room and has a very good motive for taking me down, but she’ll help me out with trying to fix this, won’t she?

NO wait! What if… what IF she decides to shave my hair? And what if I agree to that in desperation?! She’ll have me right where she wants me, and once it’s gone and cut there’s nothing I can do but wait for it to grow back! I can’t even risk magical hair extension—I tried that with my mane, and ponies clear over in Rainbow Falls asked me why a tri-color rainbow shot across the sky! Just imagine if I tried that on my body…

No, I dare not consider the results. The fluffy, puffy results. And I can’t get Luna’s help if she’ll just sabotage my recovery efforts further and—ah, she’s here at the door!

Uh, everything’s fine in here Luna! Still pink, but I’m working on it!

I don’t need your help! You’ll cut all of my coat hair! ALL OF IT!

Yes, you will! And I won’t allow it! NEVER!

Comments

[A British Gentleman]

Poor Celestia. She will figure it out eventually, and then retribution shall be terrible, and it shall be swift

[ShadowLDrago]

...What if I shave it off? Yes, I can regrow my coat, can’t I? Light bleaching, a touch of magic mojo, a loofah and a pumice stone aren’t cutting it, so why not actually cut it?

Why not? It'd grow back and you could probably hide it with like an illusion charm or something.

[BlueYoshi]

So Sunny has been taking over Celestia's duties, eh? I wonder how it was like? Hmm....

(After the long session)
Sunny: Ugh, that was horrible.
Moony: What is it, sister? Please don't tell me it was that....
Sunny: Yes, it was. The daily court session.
Moony: Seriously, when will we find that troublemaker who dyed Celestia? (gasp) Don't tell me. It could've been us!
Sunny: What?
Moony: We could be sleepwalking! We could be doing things that are out of our control! We need to do something it about it! Now!
Sunny: So what's your plan?
Moony: We need to make sure that we are not sleepwalking and that we are not doing horrible things to Celestia! Quick! Get my moon dust!

[Streakofscarlet]

As much as we all love Luna and the others' antics towards Celestia, I'm really starting to feel sorry for her.

Well, not starting to, but that's not the point.

Wait, why is she talking about shaving her coat? Can't she just take out the contact lenses?

[clubbzz]

Yeah, kind of had a feeling it was colored contact lenses.

[Briarpelt]

[MythrilMoth]

No, I dare not consider the results. The fluffy, puffy results.

And now I want to see Celestia as a fluffy pony.

[Vindicar]

>marked 'on hiatus'
>still updates more often than most fics 'in progress'

[FanOfMostEverything]

7403795
I think there was dye in addition to the contacts. That or Celestia forgot to take them out in her increasing paranoia.

[Ultimate Bromaeda]

7403668 If she could do that, why not just use an illusion to hide the pink?

[Zubric]

7404130 no burn it with fire it's not cute

[Kage no Brony]

7534836

You're right, it's not cute. It's a'daww'able!

[Somber Star]

I'm confused. If Celestia is aware at this point that her problems are caused by tinted contact lenses (which she should have noticed much sooner, btw, because everything would have been pinkish), then why is she still trying to do things with her coat? Contact lenses are really easy to remove, especially if you have telekinesis, and even taking that aside not removing them would mean everything she looked at would still be pinkish no matter what she did.

[Dashie04]

8254524
Because the solution in her bubble bath still turned her pink.