• Published 24th Jan 2015
  • 20,391 Views, 5,762 Comments

Letters from an Irritated Princess - Tired Old Man



Celestia writes some blunt letters to her faithful student and friends.

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Bonus: Spur of the Moment Spurred Me To Action, Part 3

Dear Maud,

When I told you you should write a heartfelt apology to Rarity, I suggested a few things you could try to really make it look heartfelt. Things like giving her legitimately rare gems, offering to give her pointers on how she can locate and find them herself. Maybe even give her a heart-shaped rock that can fit in her pocket called Timothy. Ultimately, however you chose to express your feelings in a way that really screamed "you", it would likely work for Rarity. Chiseling out your apology on ten stone slabs the size of house walls definitely shows effort, though I didn't mean your apology should have some literal weight to it.

How you chose to display this message was equally as important. While it certainly wasn't elegant, it got the job done. Arranging all of those slabs to be seen by her during her typical daily routine was no small feat of creativity, again literally. By the third she began actively looking for the next one like it was a Sorry Slab Scavenger Hunt.You had your sister help with nailing down her routine, I bet. Clever girl.

Of course, no one predicted one was going to topple over and nearly crush Rarity as she ran away from it. She could have run off to the side, but we all know stupid movement is what generates the best drama.It led into you breaking that last Sorry Slab with a killer foot dive though. I'm not complaining about that, and neither should Rarity.

Thus, you took this problem into your own hooves and resolved it like a true… what’s the term? BAMM? BARF? I don’t recall how it went; I’ll need to ask Luna what it is again later. But you’re whatever it stands for, if you know what that is. I hope you do.

Just be sure to mind your words around others. Facts are a cruel and merciless mistress to those that indulge in fantasies.

Wishing you luck with a repaired friendship,

Princess Celestia

...Sunny, what is this you brought me? It looks like a sketch of… our kitchen?

What do you mean, “That’s a blueprint?” For what? We already have a kitchen!

...A sanctuary. A kitchen. Pet. Sanctuary. You could do that, or you could stop making kitchen pets! Your choice.

You know what? Fine, please get it started! That way I can get this Saint Bernard Barstool off of my bed and into a proper environment! And if you’re going to consult an expert, please pick one that’s good with animals and kitchen remodeling!

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