Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

Eclipsing Lunacy

Twilight Sparkle,

Please tell me this report is an elaborate joke that claims that my sister had trouble making friends because of her intimidation and appearance. You're even telling me that only now did the town of Ponyville learn not to be intimidated by outward appearances and extend friendship.

Twilight, you already learned this after the debacle involving Zecora, who couldn't make friends thanks to Pinkie's smear campaign and blatant fear mongering. "Don't judge a book by its cover," remember? And my sister mentioned the exact same thing happening to her, again coming from that pink demon. Pinkie might have called it a joke, but I know her far better than that. And after tonight, so does Luna. Do not trust Pinkie.

Ahem. Luna's visit to Ponyville went about as well as I expected. While she's familiar with most of the ponies in Canterlot right now, Ponyville is another society entirely. Most of the nobles here didn't mind her booming voice all that much; they've heard mine enough to be conditioned to that, which let her integrate rather easily.

But an unannounced visit on Nightmare Night of all nights? I warned her that would be horrendous timing to try and introduce herself to Ponyville or any other town, but I was shot down. "It's our holiday, sister! Why shouldn't we be allowed to celebrate it?"

She had a point, but I still had my concerns, and when she came back sorrowful and having learned a lesson you learned ages ago, those concerns were confirmed.

I know I told you that you only needed to send friendship reports if you learned something, but I didn't expect a need to clarify that what you learned should be something NEW, and especially not if it's a lesson my sister learned. Why? Because she came home and told me directly. I wouldn't have minded a letter from her either since she was out of town.

Perhaps it was a bad idea to have me send those letters back when you still demonstrate your memory's as forgetful as janitor Jenkins. He mistook a closet as Luna's bedroom again, and I even gave him a map specifically so he wouldn't get lost. He lost the map in the closet. Somehow. I can't even find it.

Please do not have his spotty memory, and please remember when you already learned something so it's not a waste of time for both of us. And if somepony else learns it, have them write it. I don't care if it's a group letter from the whole town. Stop being the middlemare; do not speak for them, and let them speak for themselves, please.

Love,

Princess Celestia

Luna, what is it? Did the maids ruin your room again?

Look, I know you like the feel of moon dust underhoof, but that time's long since passed. I'm getting complaints from the maids that your room's difficult to breathe in.

Luna, no. The dust is seeping out of your room and into the hallway. At this rate it'll reach the guest rooms nearby, and in the greater interest of keeping this place sanitary and breathable, I insist you clean your room.

Do it. Do. It!

...you know what? You're right, I can't make you. So I'll clean it instead. And I'm VERY thorough, sister. I won't miss a spot, so if you're hiding somethi--

I thought as much, Luna. Happy cleaning.

Comments

[Aurora Dimmet]

Celestia for best motherly big sister.

[RazDelacroix]

Ooooooooooh, the "I will do the cleaning then" threat. That threat has sent many a colt into a sudden and panic spree of cleaning.

[Maxes Altho]

If you've played Portal 2, you already know the applications, and dangers, of moon dust

[Mooncalf]

Aesop amnesia is a terrible affliction. Coming up next, Spike learns that he too is a valued and respected member of the team, again.

[Canary In The Coal Mine]

Most of the nobles here didn't mind her booming voice all that much; they've heard mine enough to be conditioned to that, which let her integrate rather easily.

New head-canon accepted. Celestia is kindly to her student, but does not suffer foolish nobles lightly.

[garfan]

this isn't really aesop amnesia in my opinion. They were judging Zecora only on appearence, they were judging Luna on appearence, station and at least somewhat on behavior. For those unfamiliar with her Princess Luna showed up while displaying at least some signs of anger.

[BlueYoshi]

Hmm, Celestia's back to being "You serious, Twilight?" mode again.

I would like to see how she would react to Rarity and Sweetie Belle's letter in the next chapter.

[RazDelacroix]

5651146
Huh. Then you might be lucky. Personally, my mother has pulled pretty much Celestia's exact words on me numerous times when I got lazy and didn't want to clean my own room. Every time she said she would do it, FWOOSH! Off I go to save my room from the deconstruction that would happen if my mother did the job.

Unfinished artistic projects? They would have looked as but trash to her.

Lego sets in the making? She'd probably dump them into an all-purpose Lego tub that would have been raided by my brothers.

That one thing my mother would probably hound me over if she ever knew it existed?

Yeah, the threat of having a room cleaned for you is something a lot of boys would have been deeply distraught over.

[Fireflower]

5651022

I didn't use the word "why"...

[WorldWalker128]

...you know what? You're right, I can't make you. So I'll clean it instead. And I'm VERY thorough, sister. I won't miss a spot, so if you're hiding somethi--

I thought as much, Luna. Happy cleaning.

I wonder who she's hiding pictures of...

[Geiger]

I'm trying to figure if the whole Luna's Bedroom = Closet gag was a veiled reference.

[DarkPinkie]

5650847 Except those without anything to hide like me, where as I would just shrug and let her do it. Granted I would do the dishes and other minor chores for days afterwards... I just hated to clean my room for some reason.

[Etriax]

There are only two kinds of people on earth: those with things to hide, and liars.

[user123]

5654599I am the latter, and not the former.

Huh, Moondust...

[howard035]

I was about to ask where Luna was getting the moondust from, but then I remembered: Isn't all of Mount Canter made of moon rocks?

[Xuncu]

Woona: Oh Mother above! She must NEVER find the Twilestia clop fics that I wrote! "Ah, OK, I'll clean my room...."

[Zilverfoss]

5653663
I got a Narnia vibe from it

[Pinklestia]

5685440

Okaay.

[Baileyjrob]

5655054 Or are you simply doing the act of the latter about not being a former?

[GoldenCyclone4]

5650849 Let's just hope no one gives her lemons...

[Bojack H]

Noo Luna, moon dust is pure cancer!

[Boulder]

5685440 Nah, it's all those Playfilly magazines she's hiding in the back of her closet.

[Paxwing]

7447198 Of course, many of those Playfilly issues mention certain things about Twilight and Celestia...

[Titanicgaming360]

5685440
I tried reading one of those earlier today. I have a stomach of steel.
That stuff is goddamn thermite.
I lit it.
Fuck.