Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

A Rock Solid Friendship Still Needs a Firm Foundation

Dear Mayor Mare,

I’ve heard news of a professor of rockology that moved into the Ponyville-adjacent district. It’s also my understanding her choice of residency happens to be located near the Common Crystal Caverns, recently renamed from the Rare Crystal Caverns. It’s almost hard to believe that after just twenty seconds of proper, professional assessment a name was so promptly overturned.

Then again, the original discoverer lacked the credentials to certify their rarity, but as she was the only one that could locate such gems at the time, who were you to argue otherwise back then?

Now you can! Isn’t having a professional in the correct field of expertise delightful?

Speaking of which, thank you for including Maud’s supplemental notes regarding this week’s damage report. I’m not sure if the concept of Pinkie blowing up a cave to purposely try and trap herself, Maud and Starlight inside an underground tropical paradise, all for the sake of fostering friendship, is a half-baked or disgustingly raw idea. Yet it is so decidedly Twilight to force an issue on a friendship she has reason to believe won’t work out, I’m shocked this issue is even coming up again.

...Did I say Twilight?! Sorry, it was Pinkie’s problem this time, and not Twilight. However, these girls seem to share and know so much about each other nowadays. I wonder if they bother to share their old and new friendship lessons too so as to prevent these sorts of situations from spiraling out of control.

Am I too optimistic in hoping for that, Mayor? Please tell me I’m not.

Anyway, I realize you’re a bit jumpy around anything that sounds like an unplanned explosion these days, but it seems no other underground structures near the town were affected by this incident. Maud indicated in here that she’ll survey the town’s foundation and road infrastructure at your request, so all you need to do is ask and put your mind at ease. In fact, I suggest you do so ASAP before the next ‘unplanned’ explosion comes around.

Knowing Pinkie, she’ll probably blow something else up to force a brunch date or a Ponyville Welcome Party this week. See if you can get somepony to keep an eye on her and make sure she doesn’t do anything else that has her go off the rails again. Make sure they’re discreet, like a pizza delivery mare. She shouldn’t see that one coming.

Best of Luck,

Celestia

Hm? Who’s knocking right now?

Oh thank goodness, it’s Luna. Get in here, quickly!

I wrote about Pinkie again, and you know how she gets when I have words about her incredulous behavior! She’s coming, I can feel it!

Sister, I am not being ridiculous! Pinkie hasn’t struck for a while, but I refuse to let my guard down! She will come for you, for Pinkie, and for me!

...wait NO—

~~~

Dear Pinkie Pie,

I sincerely apologize for blasting you through half the castle walls and through a brand-new tunnel that goes completely through the mountain. Had I known in advance that you actually wanted to talk instead of be the creepy psychopath that’s haunted me over the past couple of years, I wouldn’t have given the kind of knee-jerk reaction I did. Next time, send a memo or something before you try a surprise talk.

Regarding your overreaction, I get it. You regressed again, and given the situation you found yourself in, it was wholly predictable. You tried way too hard, lost any sense of logic and reason, became your own worst enemy, wrecked yourself before you checked yourself (that’s how it goes, right?), yadda yadda.

Pinkie, by now you must realize that you should be better than this. How and why you sunk to Twilight’s level of coordinating friendship with smile charts and compatibility statistics, I will never be able to fully fathom. Yet I am happy you learned this lesson all the same, and even more thankful we’ve come to an agreement that ceases to turn the rest of my long-lived life into a jumpscare horror film.

You are permitted to do that only on Nightmare Night, however. I shall remember your fury-laced eyes as I tried taking that off the bargaining table. I’m surprised the full-body cast didn’t shatter into an unrecognizable mess of gauze and plaster. It did have a few cracks in it though—points for effort!

Rest peacefully, Pinkie. When you fully recover and get out of that cast, there will be a huge cake waiting for you, personally made by me.

If a slice is missing when it arrives, you don’t need to be a detective to sort out the culprit, hm?

Comments

[alfonso_rd_33]

So I wasn't the only one noticing Pinkie's meteo descent into the dreaded Twinsanity...?

[FanOfMostEverything]

The good news: Twilight and Pinkie did compare friendship notes.

The bad news: They learned all the wrong lessons from them. We should probably be grateful that Twilight isn't building a secret book cave full of dossiers on all of her friends' reading habits.

[KnightMysterio]

Revenge of the Tia! HAHAHAHA!!

[Coyotek4]

... Yet I am happy you learned this lesson all the same, and even more thankful we’ve come to an agreement that ceases to turn the rest of my long-lived life into a jumpscare horror film.

Five Nights at Pinkie's, anyone?

[RDDash]

okay I am waiting for next episode, honestly I am trying to decide which episode was the worst one this one where Pinkie was acting like a cunt she is, or the next one where Fluttershy is dealing with 3 ponies whom writers make look like they are incompetent morons

[zalla661]

I like how Celestia just trashed talked Rarity like it was nothing. Poor Rarity is gonna question her lifes choices now I'm sure.

[BlueYoshi]

Then again, the original discoverer lacked the credentials to certify their rarity, but as she was the only one that could locate such gems at the time, who were you to argue otherwise back then?

I see what you did there. Rarity was totally not happy after she found out that all of them gems she were using for her dresses were common gems.

derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/4/29/1424535__safe_screencap_pinkie+pie_rarity_spike_rock+solid+friendship_spoiler-colon-s07e04_animated_comforting_cropped_crying_discovery+family+logo_flo.gif

I wonder what she'll do in order to find new gems for her dresses now?

[AyanamiRei]

To be fair to Rarity, the reason why they were considered rare, was probably due to the fact that few people have the talent and knowledge that Maud has.

Though I AM curious as to what Rarity will do with this horrifying new knowledge...

Also I DO hope that this means that we will see more Maud in the future! <3

[Boulder]

Somepony get an engineer, Pinkie's safety valve was stuck shut this episode again!
And Tia didn't inquire from Maud where to get BSFF slippers from? Because Cady won't tell her Aunt.
pre15.deviantart.net/fc14/th/pre/f/2015/293/c/2/they_re_called_cravings_by_ncmares-d9dqvh1.png

[Alexey]

8133322 Of course I am not, I have no idea why you'd think so. Because Spike accidentally sent me my dossier.

[Cursed Quill]

incredulous behavior!

incredulous still doesn't really fit…