Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

Just Go To Sleep

Dear Twilight,

What kind of friendship report is this?

Twilight, you are friends with a ranch pony that's way too intimate with rope, a cocky weathermare with lofty dreams, an animal caretaker scared of her own shadow--which is also likely scared of her, a fashionista who spends too much time obsessing over gems like the ELEMENT, and an annoying pink anomaly that keeps finding her way into my ro--

Apologies for the cutoff. Thought I heard something. Sounded like a party popper.

Anyway, your friends couldn't possibly be more diverse short of you befriending a zebrican botanist. My question is this: how have you just now learned this lesson? More importantly, didn't you learn this within the first week of your stay after the Nightmare Moon incident?

Now, despite your amazingly delayed reaction to this lesson and your incredible ambiguity of the friends you're referring to--which is smart, actually. You might have saved their lives today--I'm happy you got around to learning this.

Now go to sleep, and don't bother me with a useless report like this again.

Love,

Princess Celestia

Luna, that's NOT funny! Don't scare me like that.

...what do you mean it wasn't you? You're the only one in here besides me!

Well, who else could it--LOCK THE DOORS.

Comments

[user123]

1 more dislike and this story will have 66 likes and 6 dislikes.

[GamerGoddessDin]

Locking the doors won't help if it's Pinkie Pie. That mare's scary...

[SirScribe]

I found this very entertaining

[silvadel]

In one fic, Twilight made up a specific ward just to keep out Pinkie Pie and still wasn't sure it would work.

[The Princess Rarity]

This one was perfect.

[Autumnfire]

ouch my sides...these are dangerously funny....MUST HAVE MORE!

[RagnuPony]

Holy crap! This is pure gold

[Alex Warlorn]

Locked doors won't stop Pinkie Pie.

[kooarbiter]

Anyway, your friends couldn't possibly be more diverse short of you befriending a zebrican botanist.

Is it weird that I thought this was a FO:E reference before I remembered zecora?

[Maxes Altho]

img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20140824235555/freddy-fazbears-pizza/images/8/8d/Tumblr_inline_naa9jrsAjt1rnc6dz.gif
Locking the doors won't help...

[twad]

Locking doors just mean Pinkie will always be with you.

[Kiryu]

5623310

[ZealousChristian24]

Well, who else could it--LOCK THE DOORS.

OH DEAR GOD SHE'S IN THE WALLS!!!

[Unit 26-Fe]

5636488 SHOOT THE WAAAAAAAAALLLSS. *Unloads all 150 auto-cannon rounds into the surrounding walls*

[Pankrazius]

5670267

Why do I have to think about an "Alien II with hundreds of Pinkie Pies instead of aliens"-scene...

Yes. This goes on my Plot-Dump ;) Maybe I'll write it someday.

[keaton-furman-prower]

Dear Pinkie Pie:

Do me a favor and keep annoying the princesses

Your best friend, Twilight.

[EverfreeSparkle]

5565281 Name of fic, please.

[Pinklestia]

FEAR THE PINK MENACE!

[Lycanthromancer]

5564920 11 thumbs-up to your comment and 1 thumb-down.

...for now.

[______1]

fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2010/095/5/b/Abandon_All_Hope_by_Hjoranna.png
img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110805221904/mlp/images/8/8e/Ponyville_town_square_S01E05.png

You'll never get rid of The Pink Menace...
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Let+s+put+a+smile+on+that+face+creepy+pony+is_94721e_4290488.png

OH I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, WRONG PICTURE. Here's the correct one:
fc07.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/316/9/d/pinkie_pie_smile_wallpaper_by_feargm-d5ktefh.jpg
You lost the game.

[FluttershyFan84]

5565039 and this is now why i realize that Pinkie is best SCP-173...

[ColdGoldLazarus]

Now, despite your amazingly delayed reaction to this lesson and your incredible ambiguity of the friends you're referring to--which is smart, actually. You might have saved their lives today--I'm happy you got around to learning this.

your incredible ambiguity of the friends you're referring to--which is smart, actually. You might have saved their lives today

Oh, dear...

[ShadowLDrago]

Now, despite your amazingly delayed reaction to this lesson and your incredible ambiguity of the friends you're referring to--which is smart, actually. You might have saved their lives today--I'm happy you got around to learning this.
Now go to sleep, and don't bother me with a useless report like this again.

I really like this, it shows that Celestia DOES care for Twilight, but she's well aware that sometimes she has to be very blunt with her.

5594095

Pinkie is like the Smooze. Incredibly popular. And virtually unstoppable.

[Cantwriteforshit]

I rather like this snarky, blunt yet caring kind of mentor Celestia's being portrayed as.
It's sort of how I'd imagine Luna being in a mentor role... if she were more mature!

[Boulder]

Locking the doors on that fourth wall breaker won't help. Once that Pink Predator has you targeted, it's game over.

img.desmotivaciones.es/201209/10234artistYoorPorickCupcakespinkamena_diane_piepinkie_pie.jpg
fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/204/5/a/pinkie_vs_predator_by_csimadmax-d41efxj.png

[StarzGecko]

No one can stop... The Pinkie!!!

[PixelMoon]

8143098
Correct!

...

[Asolem2]

Well, who else could it--LOCK THE DOORS.

Oh that's cute... She thinks locked doors will stop the Pink One

[Dashie04]

Ah yes, the overarching storyline of Pinkie constantly breaking into Celestia’s house starts now. Nice.

[Fome]

"You're my exclusive student, so never hesitate to ask for things — but my time is valuable, so don't waste it with unnecessary letters!"

I don't think I like this mare.