Captain Spitfire,
You're amazingly brazen. Do you know that? Flat-out attempting to steal Rainbow Dash from her team to replace Soarin after an injury? It's so forward with deceitful tact that I almost thought this report from the judges on your behavior was a joke.
It was not.
You know that the event was judged, right? The judges actively go around the grounds inspecting the competing teams--seeing their exercise routines, monitoring their meals, things personal trainers would normally do in consideration of this physical event. They're not all doe-eyed idiots--er, except for one, who's an actual doe. And even she could clearly see your behavior.
They still let you participate once Soarin came back from medical, but this behavior was so egregious on your behalf they felt the need to let me know that my head Captain of the Wonderbolts' actions are lacking in subtlety. It was probably as bad as my sister with her megaphone calmly addressing the nobles as to why one night came two, TWO minutes late.
"DON'T YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN NITPICK MY NIGHTTIME?!"
"NO!" They shouted back.
Nobles: can't live with them, wish I could live without them.
I digress. Spitfire, what you've done today is something I cannot ignore. Even if you took away something from Rainbow Dash's loyalty today, I can't just let you go with a slap on the hoof and walk off without drilling a lesson into your head on proper attitude towards fellow students/competitors.
So, you'll attend a noble etiquette class that Luna's teaching tomorrow evening, where she will cover all sorts of helpful topics like basic pony decency to other creatures, proper times to flaunt your wealth (hint: never, because you always look like an arsehole), and a baking class. You know, because sharing baked goods puts smiles on everypony's faces.
Well, I don't know about Luna's baking giving smiles, but the idea is there. Anyway, there is no worming your way out of this. If you're not there, Luna will get you in class via express delivery by a pair of ivory white talons.
And judging from the screams I heard, you don't want those.
Sincerely,
Princess Celestia
Hm? Sure, Luna. I can spare a bit of time trying out one of your lessons.
You're starting it with a pop quiz?! But I didn't even study! I don't even know what it's on!
Fine. Question 1: If you find a baby in an unattended carriage sucking a lollipop, you...
A. Take the candy and tell the baby it's unhealthy, then take a puff from your pipe/cigarette.
B. Berate the parent when they return for being negligent while the baby's crying, for added parental guilt.
C. Throw money at it, because that solves all of life's problems.
D. File a formal complaint to Celestia asking for unattended babies to be held accountable for public disturbances when they cry.
E. All of the above.
Page generated in 0.097 seconds
Total duration
1,113 users online
2,237,473 hits today, 2,604,810 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
B? I'm going to go with B.
Also, I love the idea that Celestia considers both Spitfire and Dash her students.
By that question at the end, I get the idea that the test is unpassable and Luna just wants to shout at the nobles some more.
i believe the morally correct answer is .B.
... Luna, I think you may have accidentally failed to put a correct answer in the multiple choice list...
F. Because it's not my freaking kid and I don't need to police the world so I can tell everyone else how to run their freaking lives.
Will the attendants be taste-testers?
Also, for all the people saying "B", the premise says: "If you find a baby in an unattended carriage sucking a lollipop".
The baby is not crying.
Therefore, it's safe to assume that those who have chosen the second option have implicitely made the baby cry just so they could berate the parents.
The correct answer is F. Mind your own goddamn business.
I'm going to go with D. because I don't like children.
What is wrong with all you people obviously the correct answer is C.
E, definitely E.
Fun fact: The question I put at the end of this chapter is based slightly on me finding an unattended baby sitting in a car in our store parking lot.
The car was in the shade, the windows were cracked, and the mother said she was only going in the store for a few minutes to grab a corn dog to eat. That few turned into twenty minutes of leaving her baby crying and alone in the car.
We called the police first before we could find her, and she got issued a citation. It was also around that time I learned of a rather startling truth from my coworkers:
This was the second time she left her kid in the car at our store.
People, man. Sometimes... I just don't get how they think. IF they think at all.
5912980 Sounds similar to where I work. You don't happen to work in a grocery store deli, do you?
Glad Celestia managed to talk to Spitfire about this; something was definitely wrong with Spitfire's actions in that episode.
Also, I think the correct answer is:
Z. Find someone to do the task for you.
5913003
Nah, I do courtesy service. We do have a deli department in the store though, and one of the guys there recognized her. Don't remember their name at this time.
By the by, this event happened yesterday, if you're looking for more parallels.
Yeah, you are the leader of the Wonderbolts Spit pony, you are supposed to set an example.
5912980 I've seen similar... just with dogs, though.
The correct answer is of course, F, consume the baby whole.
E
Oh my. Luna's baking class.
Considering the amount of tears involved in her recipes...
5912939
The only way to win is not to play.
5913387
Agh! You made me think on it again... Darnit. Three months! Three months of not loosing!
...again
F. Nobles are all assholes that need to pull those sticks out their asses and show some kindness once in awhile.
5913291
fuck off nicole.
Much like certain games of war, the only way to win at that last question is not to play.
Wise indeed will be the noble who figures out it's just a sorting test for what kind of plot-hole your noble title has transformed you into.
Well since Luna made the test, and we know she's old school, the answer is clearly A. Everypony smoked back then.
5913665
Love and Tolerate.
5913712
no, fuck you and fuck your marker.
The answer is technically C, for the nobility. They can pay someone to watch the child and someone else to find a guard to reprimand the bad parent.
I'm gonna go with G. Push the stroller down a hill to see if a super hero saves it then try to get an autograph.
Don't mind me, i'm in a mood.....
The answer is 42.
Call the cops or find security or something. so.... EG3
φ: Take the baby; you need a snack
5913779 I didn't mean that kinda love. Sorry I am currently in a committed relationship.
5912939 and that good sir is the correct answer. It was a trick question.
Protip: If you waste the Princesses' time because you have nothing better to do, they will find something for you to do, and you won't like it.
Also, I'm assuming that all the nobles like to think of themselves as politicians. If that's the case, the correct answer is always C with the addendum, "Don't increase taxes on my cronies to do it."
5913665 The hell is Nicole?
5917043
play dead space 2, then come back to me.
E, because I want to read a letter from Celestia to said noble wherein she rips him a new one for wasting her time and picking on babies.
5918044 Why, thank you!
5918719 Those sporks can do some damage though. My friend Jake once had a guy stab him with one and cut his shoulder open tot he collar bone. It's all about angles and how the force is applied.
It'd be interesting to see what Celestia deals with at court on a daily basis... this silly nobles.
5913466 Dammit...
5919179
Yes, the most dangerous people in the world are the geeks. Despite being, in most cases, the weakest physically, they generally have an impressive grasp of applied physics; there is literally nothing upon this earth that could not become fatal in the hands of a geek, proper equipment notwithstanding.
And these are the kindhearted wallflowers who get shoved around, either because they don't realize the power they hold, or because they're too nice to make your head asplode. All I have to say? Beware the nice ones.
B, that's my plan
5914213
Wrong question.
5913466 And now, a week and three days later, you lost the game again
-Sanity is overrated
This is Luna's reaction to when she found the letter Celly wrote/saw the chapter title on this site.
Hmmm... I think I'm gonna go with E
]---[ "You know, because sharing baked goods puts smiles on everypony's faces." It was with these words that Celestias secret brainwashing and subtle indoctrination into the Pinkist Cult first became apparent. All too soon she would fall from her throne into the masses of Pink. ]---[
The Rise and Fall of Princess Celestia by Empress Pinkie Pie.
5916116 So the quiz is over? Darn, I was going to go with Q: "If the baby is not crying or showing other signs of a need for attention, calmly wait by the buggy until its parent comes out and then compliment them on what a beautiful/exceptional child they have, and calmly leave, each party continuing to go about their day in whatever manner they see fit."
The unexpected unlisted is always best in these cases. Messes with the examiner's/your fellow student's head quite nicely...