Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

Pinkie's Feeling Keen Tonight

My faithful student,

I'm not sure whether to interpret this letter as an indoctrination into Pinkism, or you discovered how much of an anomaly Pinkie is. Or both. Pinkism is a rather devout religion in Ponyville, so I'm not surprised in the least that you discovered it.

I am surprised it took this long, though. Really expected this letter to come up far sooner than this. Like, in your first week, actually.

Anyway, beware, my student. Pinkie's the head of the group, obviously, and if you hadn't noticed, she does things that you can't and won't be able to explain.

Things like suddenly appearing on my castle balcony right now. I locked the door, but she's right there. Staring at me with those piercing blue eyes. Waiting.

I will celebrate my birthday soon, Pinkie! GO AWAY! Luna will bake the cake, okay?!

I have no idea if that smile from her just now was a good thing or not, but she left. I think.

Anyway, keep your windows and doors locked at night. She might be okay during the day, but don't go looking for answers involving her. They're not worth it, and you have better things to do with your time.

Like writing good friendship reports that aren't blind belief admissions.

Love,

Princess Celestia

P.S. One more warning. Beware of Pi day. Just... be aware, and have a rag and bucket on hoof.

Luna, don't scare me like that! Pinkie was just here on the balco--

No. Nononono! NO! Pinkie, please! I promise I'll have it soon!

Uh, at the end of this month! M-My birthday is coming up again, so that's perfect! Right?

C-Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!

...that was a close one. I mean, it's just a tiny promise. A small, legally binding promise that spells imminent doom if I break it...

Ponyfeathers.

Comments

[poisonflame616]

Celestia makes a Pinkie Promise

shit meet fan

[ChasingResonance]

That moment when Celestial realizes she has made a huge mistake.

[The dragon hunter]

I locked the door, but she's right there. Staring at me with those piercing blue eyes. Waiting.
I will celebrate my birthday soon, Pinkie! GO AWAY! Luna will bake the cake, okay?!
I have no idea if that smile from her just now was a good thing or not, but she left. I think.

derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/10/6/115395__safe_princess+celestia_artist+needed_scared_cowering_fetal+position_scaredlestia.jpg
That moment when you realize that even Celestia fears the pink demon...

[Seether00]

Hide your kids. Hide your wife. Pinkie's coming up in here.

[Autumnfire]

lol pinkie the bane of everything

[RagnuPony]

Oh snap!

[Mad Maudlin]

5585631

How do Elephants hide in cherry trees?
They paint their balls red.

Whats the fastest thing in the jungle?
A monkey with an armful of cherries.

[Brony Soprano]

Celestia, you should have just said no and died with dignity right there. What have you done?

[meerkat8472]

You know, I just found this, and it's funny and all. But I can't help but imagine Twilight crying after receiving some of these letters.

[Alex Warlorn]

I think it was more Twilight letting go of her "because I can't quantify it, it therefore can't be real." mentality and her "unicorn magic is the only magic" mentality just a little.

[Altered Giratina]

5589719 Delayed her death.

5594164 Easily explains "It's About Time".

[Maxes Altho]

Wait, you skipped "Suited for Success" or whatever that episode is. I started keeping close track of the episode numbers since i started reading MLP:FML, and you skipped the episode before this one.

[Nightmare Wolf]

5588339 Pink Party Pony, the demon champion of Slaanesh.
fc05.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/185/0/a/horror_pinkie_pie_v_2_by_hauo-d6c15zg.png

[DragonMaus]

5611527
Except that, as established in MLP Time Loops, Pinkie scares the stuffing out of Slaanesh.

Pinkie Pie is best eldritch abomination.
No contest.

[Electronic Pony]

I have no idea if that smile from her just now was a good thing or not, but she left. I think.

That's okay, I wasn't planning on sleeping tonight anyway.

[Cobalt Shock]

5611527 vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlpfanart/images/e/e6/Scared_Rainbow_Dash_S1E16.gif/revision/latest?cb=20121027222205 I'm fine... It's not like I need sleep or anything, right?

[aceotaku]

5603285 the one where rarity ahs to ame dresses for all ehr friends right? no that wasn't skipped

[Kage no Brony]

5588393

It's actually "Hide your children, hide your wives, Pinkie's coming to take your lives."

... wait, what?

[DJPurple3]

Celestia's screwed. utterly.
"just a pinkie promise"
oh no you di'int!

[EverfreeSparkle]

I really didn't like the lession in the actual episode. It implies that you should blindly give up and just accept something as fact when you don't understand it. That is how you create 'sheep', not intellectuals.

[keaton-furman-prower]

Dear Princess Celestia:

Don't forget to invite me!

Your excited student, Twilight Sparkle.

[Pinklestia]

5762760

Yeah!

[Sora2455]

5742962
I think what the show writers were going for was that you don't need to understand something to trust it. Before you say 'sheeple', do you know how a mobile phone works? (In the event that you do, wait while I invent a Quantum Entanglement Communicator so my analogy works again)

They weren't saying give up trying to understand it, but that you can still rely on it regardless.

[Sailorleo]

5823611
You'd still have problems with your analogy even then. I may not be an expert, but I do know enough about quantum mechanics to describe how an ansible radio would theoretically work -- namely: it wouldn't. Constructing the device would invoke the observer effect on its own, meaning the particles have already been set and aren't entangled anymore once you finish building it. (Other forms of quantum nonlocality could theoretically be used to build a tachyonic antitelephone...but only under the assumption that you're working within one of the many worlds interpretations of string theory.)

[DualKitsune]

Oh God!!! Someone help!!! I'm still laughing!!!!

[GordonFreebrony]

6433096

With the recent developments in the fields of quantum computing, an ansible radio is actually looking like a much more likely event to occur. (Still gonna take a while if it happens, but.)

[Oubliette]

5615653 Pinkie replaces Slaanesh a lot, to the point where the "Eye of Parties" has traumatized Ciaphas Cain beyond all belief and "Chaos Goddess of Parties" is a phrase dreaded by any looper Pinkie isn't great friends with.