Super Duper Party Pooper Scooper
Princess Twilight,
We need to talk about things. I didn't bring this up at the party because it wasn't the right time to ask, not while Prince Rutherford was having a good time.
But what in the world made you think you could successfully duplicate all of the customs of a country that had closed its borders for hundreds of moons WITHOUT having anything come from the home country? Worse, what even led you to believe that was a good idea in the first place? Because your friends tried doing something similar for you, and you thought you could try it on them, despite the lack of proper resources?
Twilight, one cannot simply tweak a friendship lesson to work for foreigners. It doesn't work that way, and accommodating to their customs is NOT how to welcome them to our home by making it feel like their home. If they wanted things to feel like their home, they wouldn't have come here. Their borders would still be closed. The fact that you insulted their culture by constantly disappointing them with replications nearly leading to an act of WAR speaks volumes of how close this came to complete disaster. And that doesn't even include the extensive damage report Mayor Mare filed with me regarding how many things were destroyed because of those Yaks.
You are extremely fortunate Pinkie had thrown together a party truly showing what Equestria is and how it feels like to be there, with fun, games, and only some occasional destruction. It's saved me a lot of trouble, and for once, I am in Pinkie's debt that this didn't escalate further than it did. She will absolutely collect on that one day, and I won't be prepared for it. I have a bad feeling about that.
Anyway, please remember: the visitors respect the home culture, not the other way around. Your research wasn't fruitless--just heavily misplaced because you actually weren't going there yourself. I'm sure it'll be of great help to you when and if you visit their settlement, so take solace in that preparation potentially still having use.
But should war actually be a real thing against the Yaks one day--given their general attitude, I still believe it could be on the table--I think I have the perfect solution. Just load up some catapults with mud and fire it at them, and watch as they destroy themselves over their appearance not looking "perfect" anymore. That seems to be their trigger.
One last thing. Prince Rutherford also acted rather brutish despite your earnest attempts at giving him his culture, so he'll be getting a response from me as well. It won't cause war--I'll make sure it doesn't.
Love,
Princess Celestia
Oh, hello Luna. Finally put your clone in the timeout pen for drawing constellation doodles all over your bathroom?
Oh, mine's taking a trip to the Crystal Empire. She wanted to see the sights and such, so I let her go. She'll also be asking Cadance a small question as to why she passed the buck on the responsibility of properly greeting the Yaks into Equestria.
Well, I can't have Twilight do everything for foreign relations just because she's the Princess of Friendship! We're picking up on our slack, and Cadance herself told us she was looking for more to do, so why didn't she do it? That's what the other me will find out soon.
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Hmm. I'm not cool with the idea of Celestia jumping down Twilight's throat for things going south with the yaks. Honestly, the yaks were 100% at fault for their shit attitude.
6148635
"Twilight should have known from the absolute outset that what she was doing was straight-up the wrong way to do things, but she was too busy reading a book to notice that fault.
Also, I'm not done. Rutherford is getting his own letter addressing his attitude and overreactions toward Twilight's well-intended, but completely misguided offerings. They'll get theirs."
I do find it oddly contradictory that Celestia is blaming Twilight for messing up due to the lack of knowledge about the Yaks, even though that's exactly why she couldn't have known how to handle the situation. Mistakes were bound to happen and Celestia just seems to be pointlessly rubbing it in.
Technically, pinkie succeeded in her quest. That sled she rode back through Equestria? 100% authentic yak-made sled. It should still be right next to her bed. Also, in the Beatles bit, she took the place of John, right?
6148657 Dear Princess Celestia,
Just an idea, but it probably wouldn't be a good idea to introduce Yaks to their plains cousins, the Bisons. I have a feeling it wouldn't end well.
Zernoc
Yes I know the show called them buffalo, but, given they were analogous to the Native American tribes of the Great Plains, the proper term would be bison. North America doesn't have any native buffalo species. They are bison. A close relative to the buffalo, but not actually buffalo. EDIT: Bison are not close relatives to buffalo at all. Sorry.
6148684
"She studied everything about the Yaks she could prior to their arrival, and decided the best way to introduce them to our country was to present them snapshots of THEIR country. In OUR country. That should have rung a few alarm bells.
Regardless if we didn't have any good ideas on how to go about this, it doesn't dismiss the fact that this was still a bad idea. It was so bad, in fact, that despite catastrophic failure on the first attempt, Twilight CONTINUED with the bad idea in the hopes that it would still work later. Instead, it led to a war declaration that almost became a reality."
(Also, the precise moment they should have known what they were doing was wrong is when they tried presenting Yakyakistan animals. That was just a total and complete lie, and they knew it.)
Dear Aunt Luna,
Your older sister is behaving strangely here in the Crystal Empire. She is staring and examining the various building structures in the Empire. She even tried to TASTE one of the buildings for heaven's sake! It's like she hasn't seen the crystals before! I tried to tell the citizens to stay calm, relax, and that auntie is just a bit out of sorts, but I'm not sure how long I'll last with Celestia acting this strange. If possible, can you please send me help? I'm very sorry for asking you this, but I don't think me and Shining alone will be able to handle this situation ourselves; we've never been in this type of situation before.
Love,
Princess Cadance
6148685
No. I think Pinkie was the Ringo of the group, because, you know, they're both drummers.
Please don't tell me the princes letter will be yakety yak, don't talk back!
Something about this sentence doesn't feel right... maybe I'm missing something, but I think that the last part of it is repeating the first. I would suggest cutting out "by making it feel like theirs". If it is supposed to be like that, and I'm misunderstanding, please explain it to me!
That's a great point about Cadance. First she palms off managing the big conference to Spike for the day while Twilight is sleeping, then she palms off the Yaks on Twilight even though they are closest to her? Candybutt is getting lazy.
Luna has a clone?!...I want a clone
6149517
The way that sentence is meant to be interpreted is, "our home shouldn't feel like their home."
It's a tad ironic that I cut out the word "home" at the end of the line to avoid word repetition, and then this ends up getting interpreted as line repetition anyway. Anyway, in light of clarification, I put the word back in, repetition be damned.
You've got a point there, the Crystal Empire is right there on the border, why didn't Cadence welcome the Yaks?
Cadance seems to be dropping the ball this season.
6149121 yea, but I'm talking about during the Sgt.Pepper stretch of their career, they had those bright neon-y uniforms. Blue, yellow, green, and PINK.
you'll notice the other members' coats were the other corresponding colors. So out of John, Paul, George, and Ringo, which one wore the pink uniform?
6150896 Pinkie was depicted as the drummer, so I must assume she was Ringo. Thus I figure it was Ringo in the pink getup
Edit: and looking at pictures it's definitely Ringo in the pink.
I feel like this is perhaps a bit unfair to Twilight, as (to my knowledge) she hasn't received any training in foreign diplomacy whatsoever. The Grand Equestria Pony Summit went well when Twilight was running things, true, but a large majority of the dignitaries were ponies. I can't help but feel that Celestia feels that Twilight's mistake is obvious, while forgetting that she's had several hundred years of experience doing this sort of thing on her own.
P.S. I'm also surprised Pinkie was let anywhere near the yaks after the Appleoosa debacle.
6150330 Ok, thanks for clarifying!
6151449 thanks man.
Dat title... LIES!
I do find it a bit concerning that the show writers had the prince of Yak-Yakistan declare war... I mean, what if they'd been from Yakraq, or Yaksrael? That would be really offensive.
Finally! Somebody whose willing to write about the glaring errors that Twilight made.
I mean, the Yaks were definitely not that hospitable but they did try to warn Twi that they wanted things from their home land to be perfect, and i cannot believe Twilight was dumb enough to think she could pull that off. Let alone continuously TRY.
This is something I've tried to point out elsewhere, but it bears repeating - as the incident with Spike's piano shows, it wasn't imperfection that set them off, despite their phrasing; it was perceived deception and lack of authenticity.
6151449
I found a note that stated Pinkie was portrayed as Ringo because he was the heart of the group.
9541335
Ringo's drumming is the heart of any Beatles' songs.