Bonus: Dear Applejack
Dear Applejack,
How are you doing, Applejack? I should hope you’re doing well. Granny seems to be fine, which is a great sign you’re doing a good job keeping the orchard functioning.
When I visited the orchard last month, I was surprised at how well you maintain the grounds. It had this sense of following a well-practiced routine, one followed for years without fail. And because you didn’t have a single soul tell you a word otherwise regarding your upkeep, what reason would you have to change what already works, Applejack?
That being said, Applejack, if what works for you are patchwork types of repair and methodical execution of these small fixes, far be from me to turn you away from these solutions if they are able to withstand the everlasting test of time or the burdens of day-to-day use. I can personally vouch for your use of duct tape as well--you have no idea how many plant pots I’ve had to repair with that and a jar of resin. Actually, scratch that--I have no idea how many I’ve fixed now. It’s at least over a hundred though. But as much as I accept the power of a roll of sticky tape, it is merely a temporary fix.
After getting a bit of context for your situation, I realize that in a rush your efforts were quite acceptable, if reckless. Applejack, how badly did you want that steam bath to think blatantly ignoring basic safety measures was a smart move? Applejack, you have no idea how close you came to a supervillain origin story doing something like this!
Was it too much to ask them to shut down the boiler for fifteen, twenty minutes? You had an hour! Or were you thinking of the line of ponies clamoring for all the hot towels despite it worsening the problem, yet they still wanted it? Were they truly so dense that they couldn’t let go of a service that didn’t exist until a week ago?
That last one was a rhetorical question, by the way. I hope you don’t answer that honestly, Applejack. But at the very least, I hope you did clarify that your fix was not a permanent job. You knew that going into this, but I’m not sure they know how long your repair is really going to last, and I know you don’t want to be “that mare” to call when things inevitably break down again a few months down the line.
Anyway, Applejack, even though I’m nitpicking your less-than-professional work ethic, that’s not the only reason I’m writing this. I know that you know that for years, I’ve been butchering your name to oblivion. In fact, I can feel your eyes practically rubbing all over the parchment, scanning for all the times I mention your name. You’re looking for a mistake, something to tell you this is just your imagination.
Well, I’m here to tell you that such a worry is fruitless, Applejack. Really now, what would I have to gain from making fun of your name like this? A snicker? A giggle? Full-on hearty guffaws? Definitely not the last one--the other two, however… oh, but like I said, you needn’t worry about such things. It’s a small jest, so don’t let it get to your head.
Take care, Appleshack. And tell Granny I said hello.
Best Regards,
Princess Celestia
~~~
Granny, did you get the two-way journal I sent you a few days ago?
‘Ah did. You’re getting this?’
Clear as day.
‘Is that a pun?’
...Maybe. Anyway, I just sent your granddaughter a letter. Just warning you in advance that she might scream when she gets to the end.
‘...Oh, I can’t wait to read that! You want me to tell you when she starts screaming?’
Mmhmm, and I’ll tell you when I hear it from Canterlot.
Stats
Page generated in 0.065 seconds
Total duration
984 users online
328,750 hits today, 2,561,572 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
That was actually quite menacing, for something so politely worded. Poor Applejack...
There may or may not be a problem here.
Oh, that ending!
As soon as I saw the chapter title, I said, "Oh crap, she remembers her name." It only got more terrifying from there. Then you dropped the hammer. Quite well done indeed.
When I saw the title, I was sure Celestia was going to rip Applejack a new one like she promised to in the last chapter. Then I actually read this chapter and realized that, like a lot of ponies, I had forgotten how gentle and understanding Celestia really is. Thanks for reminding me.
Genius.
I had originally thought she was writing this letter drunk, but I'm not sure which way I'd rather have it
Before I even read this, I have to wonder what's wrong with Celestia--she's getting Applejack's name right! Either she's drunk again, or this is Sunny writing. Or something else. I don't know.
After reading: um, okay then. That's a little odd. I'm not entirely sure what it means... the implication is, of course, that Celestia has been messing up Applejack's name for years intentionally, but the question of why still remains. Is she really just doing this to get a laugh? Seems a little strange to me.
7267701
"I believe I've covered this no less than three times (including this explanation), but it did start out accidental at first. However, Granny's been getting a real kick out of seeing her granddaughter getting so flustered over a simple name, and has told me she'd like to see more every now and then.
We've been having a lot of fun with this since.
...Ooh, I think I hear the screaming now! Excuse me, I have to let Granny know."
And that was the day Apple Bloom woke up to the sight of her big sister fertilizing the living room without a cart or a shovel.
I somehow misread the title as "irradiated princess"
7267718 Sorry!
I'm having a little bit of trouble keeping everything straight from past chapters. I'll need to go back and re-read everything at some point... maybe when I have more time (and fewer plans/projects for my main Minecraft world).
7267740
search the comments for "irradiated".
Celestia spelled Applejack's name correctly?!
IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!!!!!!
Wait.... (reads the last part)
Oh, Celestia, you clever bastard.
7267740
You're not the only one =)
7268894 Fallout Equestria anyone?
Phew ... I finally caught up on reading all these letters. Now if I leave a comment, it won't be 53 weeks late.
There's a difference between repairing something and "making it work."
Making it work is for when time and materials are limited and the job absolutely has to be done now. I've been there and done that.
I've even proven that I'm pretty good at doing that.
...But then you have to go back and do it right.
8182894
"Making it work" is a valid option only in the event of emergencies.
7268800
She didn’t want the balance of the universe to be upset, she likely didn’t want REM singing that song either.