Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

Just Because You're Top Bolt Doesn't Mean You Left Rock Bottom

Dear Spitfire,

I’m so glad I stopped having to pull your teeth to actually get you to do some work. Wonderbolt recruits always get you more fired up than usual, and this year’s hopefuls sounded greener than ever. Especially that one, what’s the name… Angel Wings? I’ll bet you spent a good third of your day shouting at her.

It probably isn’t good for her heart getting the business from you, but she wished to give it a shot and you let her try. What else is there to say other than to praise her bravery?

Moving on to some of your other successful cadets, I see two particular ponies on this list: Vapor Trail and Sky Stinger. This report mentions them being on close watch due to trust concerns, supposedly due to Vapor assisting Sky’s airborne abilities since their childhood.

Your concerns are very much valid. Keeping a lie going for that long, despite her good intentions, makes me wonder if she’s lied about anything else that whole time. Oblivious to her actions or not, if she’s prone to accidentally telling huge lifelong lies, that doesn’t reflect well on her honesty and integrity. Keep a close eye on her, Spitfire.

And also keep an eye on Sky as well. Odds are he still has some lingering doubt left unresolved, and the last thing I want to hear is losing a promising cadet over a broken friendship that was hastily repaired.

Yes, that means I’m asking you to monitor their friendship in the stead of whoever “fixed” it. Feel free to shout at them if you must.

...Who am I kidding? You’ll shout at them for other things anyway.

Turning you temporarily into a friendship fixer-upper,

Princess Celestia

~~~

Dear Mayor Mare,

In light of recent events that transpired this q, I have a confession to make.

You remember when we first met in your newly elected office over sixty years ago? I brought you a gift--a bag of butterscotch candies, and I told you to have one if you ever felt stressed. It was your first day in office, and we each tried one. You told me it was the best candy you’ve ever had in your life.

I was so elated at that I told you I made those myself. You wanted to know if I could send those to you more often, and I promised I’d send you a brand new bag on your birthday every year.

That was a complete lie. I never made those candies; I bought them from a candy store in Canterlot before I rode the train to Ponyville. I have no idea why I said that, but you just seemed so overjoyed that I guess I just… blurted that out in the moment and didn’t have the heart to correct it at your excitement.

And that is why, for over sixty years, I’ve been one of the most faithful patrons of Mr. Brittle’s Hard Candy Shop. So long as they stayed in business, everything would have been fine.

Then Mr. Brittle himself retired and close the shop at the end of last year, and your birthday is coming up in a few weeks.

My mind is still racing, scrambling to get you those candies someway, somehow. And frankly, at this point I actually would try to make them if I had to.

But if I can’t, I’m sorry for both lying to you about them and not being able to get them to you this year. If you’re mad reading that, that’s fine. I don’t have any reason to get mad at you for something I did wrong.

I hope you can forgive me.

Friends Forever,

Princess Celestia

~~~

Dear Princess Celestia,

I have a confession to make in light of your confession.

I don’t like butterscotch. I never did, yet I lied and said I loved it since you seemed so into the moment of sharing this candy with me, I didn’t think refusing was much of an option!

I’ve been passing it off to my secretary every year you sent me a bag. I apologize for not telling you this sooner, probably sixty or so years sooner.

And now it’s my turn to say that if you want to get mad at me, that’s fine. I really do deserve it for making you worry that much over something I never liked in the first place.

Hopefully Friends Forever,

Mayor Mare

Comments

[Ponygon]

Well today's letter is all sorts of special. Great job, TOM!

[Wigglytuff]

That was actually very heartwarming, despite all the irony.

[FanOfMostEverything]

A surprisingly touching set of letters this time. Though I'm not too concerned about Sky and Vapor. If it's good enough for an enigmatic crystalline tree-castle, it's good enough for me.

[Seether00]

The lesson: It's okay to lie to your friends for years. They'll forgive you because they are lying to you as well.

[MythrilMoth]

Reverse GOTMI compounded with big white lies over six decades! Fun!

[BlueYoshi]

That was pretty heartwarming. It's nice to see that both Celestia and Mayor Mare are forgiving each other for their actions.

[Charcoal Quill]

The latter half of this chapter reminded me so much of "Green Isn't Your Color" that I felt compelled to go back and reread the chapter for that episode just to see what Celestia had to say about Fluttershy and Rarity's situation back then.

Turns out the whole chapter was about Twilight breaking her Pinkie Promise, and neither Fluttershy nor Rarity were mentioned even once. Welp.

[Highlord Langslock]

This chapter makes me wonder if honesty is really the best policy if lies can sustain a friendship for years.

[kooarbiter]

it would have been funnier if both of them sent the letter to each other without coordinating it, so both of them would be surprised at the same time

[Cursed Quill]

transpired this q

pardon?

[Dashie04]

7673947
“Being honest might not get you a lot of friends, but it’ll get you the right ones.”- John Lennon

Don’t lie to your friends, ever. It’s bad enough you lie, but if they find out you basically shoot yourself in the foot.