Letters from an Irritated Princess

by Tired Old Man

One Can Learn a Health of Information in Three Days if They Try

Dear Twilight,

Firstly, some congratulations are in order. Your concern for Fluttershy’s well-being was as firm as it could have been short of restraining her or otherwise confining her in the treehouse for bedrest. Granted, she still pressed onward and put herself in a three-day coma despite your intimate knowledge on the subject of over exhaustion that I’m certain you shared with her at some point during the journey. Though even if you didn’t, I doubt she was in much of a mindset to listen to such advice anyway.

Now, while you’ve done what you could in terms of keeping Fluttershy safe from herself, what I can’t help but wonder is what happened during those three days that you and this Cattail fellow completely and utterly failed to acquire any honey. You’ve bested the dreadful bugbear that is Honey Boo Berry; how could a hive of zap-happy bees provide a challenge for you?

Appeasement clearly failed, but you know that wasn’t the only avenue to try, right? What about smoke? What about teleporting the bees or the hive away from the bees, or grabbing the honey with a simple levitation cloud? Why was the kind route the only supposed avenue you’d taken when it turned out the solution was to steal the honey through deception?

That is not the only baffling decision I’m gathering from this report you submitted. The urgency of finding this cure was heavily detailed in here by Fluttershy, yet bizarrely there is very little in the way of urgency coming from your account of events. This disease was, without question, a terminal illness prior to the rediscovery of a long-forgotten cure. I appreciate the levelheadedness you carried to a certain extent, yet it stands in stark contrast to Fluttershy giving everything she had and more as somewhat unfeeling on your part. I know deep down that’s not the case, but I would be lying if your bluntly factual recollection didn’t appear cold in the slightest.

I thought of a few ways to state my advice, but I suppose this is the best way to word it: put in more effort in thinking outside the box. Not necessarily to Fluttershy’s extremes in cross-referencing old tomes and finding an obscure connection leading to a clue to find a national treasure, but enough to not feel like a third wheel on a bicycle. You’re an alicorn; you can afford the acuity to consider more disguises that should have included the wide variety of masks that lined the inner walls of Meadowbrook's home. You could even maybe, maybe try some more aggressive magic to match some shockingly agitated bees.

Wow, that kind of sounds like a Glimmer strategy to solving a problem, doesn’t it? Her gratuitous use of magic to solve problems does have a good application here or there.

Anyway, I need to wrap this up. I woke up this morning with orange dots all over my coat with glued-on leaves and twigs.

No, I don’t think I’m infected, though I’m not fond of becoming a Celestreea… or maybe Treelestia? Whichever has a nicer ring to it.

Sincerely Hoping You Develop a Bit More Empathy,

Princess Celestia

Alright, time to go tell Sunny and Moony that this “fake health scare” prank of theirs has gone too far!

...Why are my legs stuck to the floor? Worse, why can’t I move them?!

Oh no, don’t tell me that bucket that spilled on Luna and me was…

SUPERGLUUUU—

…

~~~

Dear Zecora,

Need shampoo and cleanser. Also moonshine. Long day, very stiff. Want to loosen up two ways.

Please use labels. Do not want to drink shampoo.

Thanks,

Tia

Comments

[SWEETOLEBOB18]

When watching this episode, my first thought was "So, this is what Flutttershy is like when she's 'on the rag' " (Do folks still say this?) My second thought was "Meadowbrook just vanished? I bet she didn't. I bet she's actually that plant in a jar that they showed."

[Tatsurou]

Tia's letter to Zecora was the selling point here.

"Do not want to drink shampoo." XD

[FanOfMostEverything]

Yeah, three days and no dice does not speak highly of Twilight's creative thinking. I suppose she didn't want to harm the bees too much out of concern for the long term. Who knows how many hives of flashbees are out there, and if anything else acts as a cure?

[WanderingPony]

>No, I don’t think I’m infected, though I’m not fond of becoming a Celestreea… or maybe Treelestia? Whichever has a nicer ring to it.

I dunno, I think alicorns would make pretty trees.

pre00.deviantart.net/ea2e/th/pre/i/2013/330/8/9/tree_of_harmony_by_serenawyr-d6vqrbq.png

[Tired Old Man]

8450673
I figured that was a possible reason, but at the same time Zecora was dying from this decidedly deciduous disease. So would Fluttershy, and later Doc Horse plus any he might have infected back in Ponyville if a cure wasn’t delivered in time. Heck, Twilight wasn’t even sure if Fluttershy was going to wake up after she fainted.

Twilight was in a hard spot then, and I wouldn’t envy the decisions she had to make if Fluttershy hadn’t woken up when she did.

[Bast]

8450601
No i don't think so, she knew the cure for the disease and it was said she went to tour the rest of the world to help other ponies and discover new stuff.

[Hillbe]

Fluttershy. You missed your calling.
To be a Doctor?
No dearest Fluttershy...
We always thought you wanted to be a tree...
Oh Buck!

beats farting bubbles like Pinkie did.

[BlueYoshi]

Nice callback to the previous episode.

[Aotrs Commander]

8450772

Yeah, my local ponythread is having something of a debate on Twilight. About half of us (me included) are echoing what Celestia said. Twilight just did not seem to be exhibiting the requiste concern that Zecora (and later, when it was revealed how HIGLY contagious it was) plus Fluttershy and the others were going to die a really rather horribly death.

Let alone the fact that, apparently, she did not attempt to get any kind of medical help for Fluttershy for the three days she was unconscious. (And, now that I type that... I realise that's pretty fracking serious, three days. That's "if no-one was around to hydrate you, you die of thirst" serious.)

Twilight did NOT come across well to me this episode, I don't think she's ever felt that badly presented to me as this episode.

Which is a shame, since beyond the bugbear (aha) or that issue, this was otherwise a good episode, with some nice high stakes for a change.

[Cursed Quill]

8450601

my first thought was "So, this is what Flutttershy is like when she's 'on the rag' " (Do folks still say this?)

Not in polite company, certainly.

[Flash Notion]

8450765

new headcanon accepted.

[AyanamiRei]

RIGHT?? I was wondering how the FUCK Twilight was NOT able to get past all those bees! Like seriously Twilight, you can TELEPORT, FLY, AND LEVITATE!!

[itsune9tl]

Dear Zecora,

Need shampoo and cleanser. Also moonshine. Long day, very stiff. Want to loosen up two ways.

Please use labels. Do not want to drink shampoo.

Thanks,

Tia

Mind you, drinking the Shampoo would certainly Loosen one up, but not in the way she intended.