Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

MMMystery on the Friendship Express

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

MMMystery On The Friendship Express

Dear Princess Celestia,

So Mr. and Mrs. Diabetes have prepared this really extravagant cake for Equestria's National Desert Competition. The Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness. I hear they have a new device to aid in judging the dishes this year; it actually measures how fast your arteries clog!

And don't most competitions have you bake the dish AT the competition? Well, since we're not doing that, let's bake it then move it! Oh, and don't put it on a level, sturdy cart. Nope, put it on a wobbling horse, tie it to ropes and have two Pegasi hold it up, have a protective shield around it, and last but not least, a trampoline behind it.

So let's see. If it were to tip off of Big Mac, it would fall inside the shield, most likely knocking both Pegasi into it, and then, if it falls backwards it would bounce off the trampoline and hit the ground, shattering the shield and sending cake everywhere. Fucking genius.

So rather than making the desserts there, we're taking the prepared dessert to the competition. Separately, right? Away from all the competition? Nope! We're all going on a train, but first we have to tear the side off because we have to get this damn thing into the car. At least everypony else's was small enough to fit in the door.

So I tried to listen to Pinkie describe the cake sitting before us, but I only got as far as “rich, creamy goodness”, which of course cause the medication to wear off, and I started thinking about sex again. Oh by the moon I'd like some rich creamy goodness inside me right about now.

No, I'm not talking about the cake.

So when our competition shows up with their entries, what happens? That's right Pinkie, flaunt your most-likely prize-winning entry in front of everyone and then attempt to stay up all night without any help from stimulants or a damn cup of coffee. Hell, use your drugs, we know you brought them. They're stored in the cake, aren't they?

So after Pinkie began guarding the cake, Dash rather easily lured her away, and because she only sees in two dimensions, didn't see that Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity had taken a bite of the cake. I really had to resist using one of the supports as a dildo.

But I really would love to see the world through Pinkie's eyes for just 10 minutes. According to her, we had a silent film villain, secret agent, and ninja on the train with us.

So in short, Fluttershy, Rainbow, and Rarity are all weak-willed future fatasses. Applejack can play innocent all she wants, but she was the FIRST to reach for the cake before we even left.

With the MMMM ruined, do the bakers now revel in their much-increased chances of winning? Oh hell no. One short dark tunnel later, and they all gobbled up another dessert. So now that everypony's dishes have been destroyed, we basically made this whole damn trip for nothing. Until Pinkie decided to combine the remnants of all three dishes, and enter it into the contest. She waited until you got a slice, and then ate the rest all at once. Blue ribbon and all. Good thing too, because I was afraid we were all going to argue over who got the ribbon on the way home.

But seriously, how is Pinkie not pissing high fructose corn syrup?

Your healthy-eating former student,
Twilight Sparkle

Comments

[Bangomango]

Has this been fic updating day or something? Immortal Game just finished an hour ago, and now this is here.

Ha, Twilie voiced my thoughts exactly as I watched the episode

"Fluttershy, Rainbow, and Rarity are all weak-willed future fatasses."

[Shamus_Aran]

So I tried to listen to Pinkie describe the cake sitting before us, but I only got as far as “rich, creamy goodness”, which of course cause the medication to wear off, and I started thinking about sex again.

For Pete's sake, just let her bang someone already. This is getting serious.

[Sharky]

Yay i love this story so much and to have pinkie vision would be awesome

[Kaidan]

Rich creamy goodness
Eeyup
. . .

[ultra1437]

Oh man, that's a gem.

[Tatsurou]

Been a while since the last chapter. Good job. ANy chance this fic will catch up with the series?
Just fidding. Take your time.

[MoldyShishkabob]

One of these days, her horniness is gonna continue to stockpile to the point that she would likely rape all of Ponyville.

First would be poor, poor Fax Machine.

[cloudranger]

Hey, I just imagined something terrifying. This Twilight as ALICORN Twilight. I trust you to use this to the best of your ability.

[Swashbucklist]

"cause the" < "caused my"

Say Twilight, how would you know she isn't pissing high-fructose corn syrup? Get Fax Machine on that.

[Marching Thunder]

No comment about the epic hat and pipe she got? For shame.

[Themaskedferret]

2044835Well hat's not so good unless you want a gag and the pipe's prolly too thin for a sex aid....

[swiftstriker21]

So. Goddamn. Hilarious!

[Marching Thunder]

2044861 They still look damn cool.

[Stratocaster]

Oh man this is HILARIOUS! I wish I could have thought of this. I love Twilight's thoughts so much; it kind of reminds me of Freeman's Mind.

So reading more of this later on!

[Biker_Dash]

But seriously, how is Pinkie not pissing high fructose corn syrup?

i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc55/Sakura2811dev/Gifs%20and%20Tumblr%20pictures/SIRIUSLY.gif

[GAPDashie]

The first "dessert" needs an "s."
And Twilight needs a good buck. Seriously.

[Aurora Dimmet]

Aww... I was -sure- Twilight was gonna want to use the chocolate mousse moose as a sextoy.

[keaton-furman-prower]

Dear Twilight Sparkle:

Your thoughts amuse me, as does the image of Pinkie Pie pissing syrup

Your cake-adoring former teacher, Princess Celestia.

P.S.: Remind me to banish Pinkie to the moon for eating all my cake

[xXSilverLiningXx]

Dear Twilight Sparkle,
I hearby give you legal consent to kill the pink b**** known as Pinkamina Diane Pie, on the grounds that she stole my f***ing cake. No other murders shall be granted to you, so spend this one wisely.
Still your mentor,
Princess Celestia of Equestria
PS send me a sample of those drugs. They may contain a prmanant cure to diabetes.

[Pinkamena777]

Dear twilight

can i have sex with you

by someone with a tophat

[Iryelb]

i.imgur.com/7CW32.gif

[The Abyss]

2044751

I know, right?

[Willow Arqueiro]

Macntosh would gladly fill her with something rich and creamy inside her, and have no qualms..

[infinite scratch]

Someone get this mare laid now! Lol

[Willow Arqueiro]

Oh shit, where the fuck did the rarity come from.
Ignore her, she wasn't supposed to be in my comment.

[averagejoey2000]

Let's have a Twilight's no longer repressed party!
What? She totally needs to get laid.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Well, Pinkie excretes confetti from every pore, so how do we know that her kidneys don't produce HFCS?

Also, you're short an "M" on the episode title.

[milesprower06]

2045347 Not according to the FiM Wiki.

[FanOfMostEverything]

2045411
Huh. Well okay, then.

[Diamond Sparkle]

[MarcusFirehaven]

2044777 The image of Twilight huping town hall as several ponies look at her as if she was nuts (which she probablt is, humping a building and such) made me laugh to tears.

[JimboTex]

2044777
2044786

*Psst*

That's the first thing she's gonna do as an alicorn - rape everypony! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Spitfire_rape.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Discord.png

[MrNumbers]

Can anypony say "Twilestia"?

And I don't mean the ship.

[terrycloth]

2044772 Magic Duel, where she spends a lot of 'quality time' with Zecora?

[ThatPinkPony]

Mr. And Mrs. Diabetes!
XDDD
And I always thought she pissed Confetti. Like every other pour in her body.

[Rozen Knight]

Twilight heres rich creamy goodness! *hands over coolwhip* Oh and i herd Pinkie pie has a food fetish! ENJOY THE INFO!

[TheButcher]

2045411 Did Twilight taste test it?

[Blue_Paladin42]

2044751
Not until the season three finale.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

So Twilight has been taking medication huh?

[Misplaced Modifier]

But seriously, how is Pinkie not pissing high fructose corn syrup?

That's a question we can never answer, but will always want to know.

-Minty

[Valikdu]

2046831
...Better grab everything I can!

[Namara]

This.

[Princess Cadence]

2044751
I volunteer.

[Dr Bob]

2044777
There's a fic that's about something pretty similar.
Hell, there's probably one for everypony.

[Bad_Seed_72]

Yet another awesome chapter!

[SuperPinkBrony12]

2048408 Speaking of which if this fic ever gets up to "Keep Calm and Flutter On" I can't wait to see how furious she really was at the though of Discord being set free again.

[Larger Seagull]

Mr. Prower, you're mission is to complete the Season 2 letters before the Season 3 finale airs.
Are you up to the challenge

Wow, Pinkie is no longer called a druggie by Twilight
She's mellowing (don't know if that's good or bad)

But seriously, how is Pinkie not pissing high fructose corn syrup?

She's Pinkie Pie; nuff said

[milesprower06]

2048678 I'm never going to set deadlines for the sake of setting deadlines. They'll be done when they'll be done.

[Samurai_Shippo]

god these are nuts

[milesprower06]

2049451 Why thank you.