//------------------------------// // Return Postage on Harmony, Part 2 // Story: Letters from an Irritated Princess // by Tired Old Man //------------------------------// Twilight Sparkle, Once more, I thank you and your friends for saving Equestria from Discord. That frankenstein madman received his comeuppance for messing with my ponies, and thanks to the wonderful power of friendship, he slumbers once more in stone. And thank the gods for that. He's being relocated back to the gardens, more specifically in the restored hedge maze. Why he wasn't placed there sooner to decrease the chances of this event happening in the first place is a question I'll be asking the designers shortly, because this was a major oversight for all of us, myself included. That's right. I, Princess Celestia, accept partial blame for having a sealed chaos spirit statue placed within the vicinity of the most chaotic creatures in the world besides him: children. Luna also accepts blame for cracking the back of his head prior to his release. Speaking of Luna, during the incident, Discord got to her. No wild Nightmare Moon appeared, thankfully, but something far worse stood in her place. She walked into my room wearing a classy business suit, half-rimmed reading glasses, and her once-flowing mane was replaced with a beehive. Gone was her goofy, playful expression and cheerful gait, replaced with a steely stare, firmly planted hooves, and a clipboard hovering in her aura. Serious Luna had arrived. And I hated it. I would rather deal with Luna's dodginess of tasks than Serious Luna's strict adherence to them. Thanks to her, day court managed to become boring in a way I never thought was possible before now. I couldn't even make any witty remarks or thinly veiled sarcasm. This boredom also applied to responding to foreign dignitaries, bathroom breaks, and even lunchtime became as formal as the Gala before you and your friends changed that. Granted, her actions freed up my whole week. She's definitely onto something with this, but I still prefer my sister instead of a mare machine with my sister's appearance. I suspected Discord did something similar to you and your friends. He's never direct with who he considers a real threat, and that's what makes him dangerous. Considering he knew of the Elements and moved them elsewhere, he must have figured out how to nullify the elements through your friends, and through them, you. So how could I possibly remind you of how great friendship is to refocus you on your goals? With your own letters, of course. Because let's be honest, if I wrote you a letter trying to convince you of doing something you didn't want to do, it would fail on principle. The best thing I could do was simply return your letters in the hope that you wouldn't possibly ignore your own words. Extend my apologies to Spike, by the way. I didn't know how many letters it would take to get through your thick skull and snap you out of Discord's trickery, so I sent them all. Send them back at your leisure, just not today. Spike needs a breather, and maybe some antacids. No need for a friendship lesson today; the mere fact you put another great evil to rest is more than satisfactory. I look forward to your next lesson, however. It should be one that won't disappoint me. Love, Princess Celestia Oh, Luna. I'm so happy you're back to normal. Don't worry, nothing happened. You didn't do anything to mess with me. You were just a bit more... serious than usual. Okay, you reamed me for using the wrong fork for my salad at lunchtime, but it's not a big deal! Luna, don't cry, okay? It only happened once. I'll make sure it never happens again.