Spike At Your Service
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Spike At Your Service
Dear Applejack,
Let's get one fucking thing straight. Spike is MY slave. If you want a dragon slave, then I suggest you grow your own horn out of that damn hat and hatch an egg yourself. Maybe you can get your lover to do another Sonic Rainboom to help you with that too. I am also dumbfounded that you let him move about your farm, the walking disaster that he is. But I hope you got a good idea of why I'm always frustrated with him, and also got first-hand experience of his stupidity. I mean, here was a fire-breathing dragon, running from animated piles of wood. Yeah. I can't believe you bought that dragon code bullshit. The only reason I didn't realize he left was because I was caught up in that magnificent 12-part erotic novel series Celestia sent me for the weekend.
So you always go into the Everfree Forest investigating runaway balloons? Or are you just going in there to intimidate Zecora? You could've given him a swift bucking and sent him flying off your farm if he wasn't getting the message. You see, that's why your honest southern politeness won't get you anywhere in life. And who the fuck puts eggs up on a shelf that is twice as high as anypony in the household?
I do derive joy from the fact that all these mishaps were happening elsewhere, and not in the library. Only Spike could go to wash a single plate, flood the kitchen with soap suds, and come out with a piece of the plumbing.
So after helping Rainbow re-enact the 9/11 Pegasus attack on Manehattan, we got together to come up with a plan to get Spike out of your service. I don't see why we didn't just tell him about the Pony Code, which overrides the Dragon Code, and puts him back into my servitude. Nah, we had to get a really cheap puppet, some wooden buckets, and Rainbow's really good roaring. Spike didn't buy it though, due to the lack of breath. So, of course, the Everfree Forest's glorious irony endangers all our lives. The trio of Timber Wolves tracked you and Spike back to the farm. You saved his life once again, but then they formed up Timbertron.
So they saved the day by doing to the Timbertron what happens to me every time I try blowing a stallion. But since he saved your life, you two called it even, and now he's back helping me because I am completely incapable of turning on a light.
Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle
Dear milesprower06,
However did you come up with that ingeniously woven intricate plot line?
-Rarity
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Dang, that was fast!
Oh god, why!?
Wait, who secretly replaced Rarity with Pinkie Pie? Wrong *twitch* pony *twitch* breaking 4th wall *twitch*.
You missed gnarfling the garthok. I am disappoint.
fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/364/9/3/garthok_by_steelresolve-d5poox2.jpg?2
Celestia sent Twilight a 12-part erotic novel series? How uncharacteristically nice of her.
More great work!
You seem to be updating this really fast. I don't know if that's normal or what, but I assume someone is eager to get to the season finale, yes?
But holy crap, the speed does not affect the quality.
someone is motivated
I know it makes me a terrible person, but.... I lol'd.
heh, Timbertron will fuck your shit up (unless you gots a pebble)- seriously, how realistic is that?
Sweet Celestia... would it kill you to give my sides a break? That egg line was priceless.
2155037 I made the joke, what does that make me?
Silly Twilight... you've never blown a stallion...
I'm afraid your power-writing is affecting the quality a fair amount. I didn't even crack a smile at this one. And the Rarity letter made no sense whatsoever.
2155043 I think that makes you the punched line.
Yeah now you know why i dont make jokes.
Absolutly halious!
2155043
nerdnirvana.org/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/yo-dawg-at-first-i-was-like.jpg
I'm allowed to laugh because I'm Australian.
If a Metallica reference were made in this fic, that would make my day.
2155069 Sup, dawg?
2155058 Power writing has got nothing to do with it. Back in Seasons 1 and 2, I spent days on letters that wound up being duds.
Everypony else seems to be enjoying it, and that's a 4th wall break by Rarity, if it's not completely obvious, which it is.
And once you've done that just recite the following incantation:
Oh wait... Wrong Dragon Slave...
2155001
She was just doing it to increase Twilight's sexual frustration levels.
2154998
2155001
They were Twilight fanfics.
For Irony.
2155043
About the same as iloveporatlz0r I would imagine, as he has the Axe Building Kick version on his home page.
2155165
Not to mention that gif of Derpy bringing down the towers with her iron plot.
Dear Rarity,
He stole your rear end and anal-yzed it for tips...
Oh snap.
Zytharros.
2155100 But to what end? Just for the sake of Rarity breaking the fourth wall? I dunno, this one just didn't do it for me. Might have something to do with how I hated the fuck out of this episode.
Honestly, I'm surprised you didn't mention the fact that despite AJ's strength, she was trapped by a rock that Spike moved with a bloody STICK
It was Rarity breaking the 4th wall, using a line from that episode. It's a story. It's THIS story. It doesn't have to make sense.
Holy crap, if Rarity got a hold on the internet, that means everypony does. :o
2155043
The same as the rest of us, apparently...
Am I the only one that thinks Rarity is trolling the author?
I'm so happy, chapters just keep coming (he he cumming) out.
cdn.derpiboo.ru/thumbs/1100/500/2013/02/11/05_49_41_119_239868__UNOPT__safe_animated_scootaloo_happy_sleepless_in_ponyville_clubhouse_51188671a4c72d52fe0003f1.gif.gif
Nearly done with S3... Then a hiatus til S4 unless you want to get crazy and write letters between seasons anyways lol
Gunna miss this series during the downtime
images.nonexiste.net/popular/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/50-Priceless-Images-From-4Chan.png
What does it make me, that I noticed the implication that Twilight swallows?
What is this fic doing to me?
2155001
Nice? It was astoundingly cruel!
2155254
That's because Spike has hands and tool use.
Sort of like how you can take even a body builder down if you kick him in the back of the knee, AJ was caught from a mechanical, not just a weight, point of view.
2155558>>2155151 Maybe, but you'd think that Twilight could also take her sage advice to lock herself in her room for a whole weekend (or more, depending on how long it takes for her to get through that stuff) and get off on her own. Apparently, no one's ever introduced her to toys. Either that or they've gone out of their way to keep that information from her.
2155158 Or that.
I'll admit that this chapter was a bit of a miss for me...mostly because I'm pretty sure most of the humor missed me completely.
2155597
true, but only one of her back legs was trapped, couldn't she have just kicked it with the other one?
What Twilight doesn't know is that, although the Pony Code trumps the Dragon Code, the Huge, Gigantic, Terrifying, Enormous, Teeth-Gnashing, Sharp Scale-Having, Horn-Wearing, Smoke-Snoring, Could-Eat-a-Pony-In-One-Bite, Totally-All-Grown-Up Dragon Code trumps the Pony Code.
2155488 Whoever made that should feel asmamed... oh wait it's from 4chan never mind
1) Does Twilight contently have pms and if she has pms then why dosn't she go into heat? Or is she in heat all the time, honestly Twilights biological systems are a mystery to me.
2) 2155391
Why did you post a picture of a chicken?
Rarity breaking the 4th wall what blasphemy is this?
I have awaited this episode.
Spike tore up Rarity's plumbing and left it dripping on the kitchen floor. Rainbow Dash watched through the window and was inspired to change her afternoon plans. Rather then ask Applejack for a roll in the hay as she had originally intended she decided to ask Spike for something to pound herself into instead. Rainbow Dash had thought Spike might tire quickly but on seeing the massive rock hard shaft he erected for her she was the one becoming intimidated. Her pride however wouldn't allow her to back down from a challenge especially since her friends had gathered to watch the spectacle and so with some effort managed to take Spike's monument nearly to the base.She ended up sore and exhausted and to the awe of the mares gathered around him he was more then willing and able to keep going. After he decimates RD he leaps and floors AJ against her will, but by the time he's done working on her from behind, she really likes it. At least up until he jammed it in her mouth and pumped her full. Just be thankful Pinkie didn't get to have her way with Spike it involved fishnets. And she wanted to wear the mustache. In the end Rarity teaches AJ how to fake it, but she ends up learning as all the girls did that they never needed to fake anything for Spike!
2155001
Celestia is hoping to give Twilight ideas for her dreams. After all, Twilight's dreams are the key to the Princesses breaking into the hardcore porn industry.
2155043 That was the one thing that you should've not written. 9/11 is not something to poke fun at. Other than that this was a good chapter. I can't wait to see what kind of jokes you're going to crack in "Keep Calm and Flutter On".
2156352 Don't complain. IT HAPPENEND! WOOPTIE BUCKING DOO!!
The problem with your reaction is that it is EXACTLY what those terrorists wanted. SCREW THOSE TERRORISTS AND LIVE LIFE!
2155979
Hang around Pinkie long enough and you
get one hell of a contact highlearn a few of her secrets.2156373 I'm saying that it's wrong to poke fun of the events. Need I remind you that hundrends of innocent people lost their lives that day? Do you ever see anyone poke fun of the Holocaust or The Challenger Explosion, no because those are things that you just don't make fun of. Anyone who does clearly has a poor sense of humor.
Ha, ha! Timbertron. Nice.