Dear Apple Jack-Be-Nimble,
Color me shocked and in complete disbelief. I can't believe you changed your legal name to counter my name game. It's one of the most insane counters I've ever witnessed in my years as ruler of Equestria.
I both love and hate you for playing the game now. At last, you’ve finally turned the tables by flipping it on me after years of what would have been countless and senseless name violations. It’s begrudgingly commendable, almost worthy of a trophy all by itself.
Although thanks to your wacky retaliation, I can’t exactly give this trophy to you now. After all, there is no ‘Applejack’ this belongs to anymore. Honestly, if you didn’t want the trophy, you didn’t have to go this far to refuse it. Gustave le Grand would have happily accepted it in your stead considering he got second place.
As it stands however, I tip my crown to you, Apple Jack-Be-Quick. On one hoof, getting in on the joke yourself shows such a strong sense of maturity in knowing how to take a joke. On the other hoof, it sours my take on nomenclature as it's no longer a thing only I had done (with one beautiful, bipedal exception), and I'm slightly peeved somepony else is encroaching on my naming turf, especially when it's the victim.
But you know what? That’s okay. I've been playing the name game for years, Apple Jack-Jumped-the-Candlestick. You can certainly flip a table, but I've flipped houses. And you're about to find out how I'm going to flip your house upside-down.
With regard and respect,
Applejack
Oh yes, I went there.
~~~
Dear Granny Smith,
I know this sounds rather sudden — in fact this is completely unannounced — but would you like to be Princess for a day?
And before you ask, yes, this does involve your granddaughter. It’ll be one last hurrah for the road.
So, are you in?
Friends Forever,
Apple Hijacked-Her-Name