Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
The Last Roundup
Dear Princess Celestia,
I would like to talk about a handicapped filly here in Ponyville. Her name is Derpy, and she's one of Ponyville's mailmares. She performs her job well enough, I have never had any of my non-royal mail delivered late. But there's just something...different about her.
I first noticed her along with everypony else at my welcome party. Her eyes were just a bit...off. She didn't say anything to me that night, not that I stayed downstairs for very long. After that, I saw her around and about, and didn't really have any direct interaction until she dropped a flowerpot, bale of hay, anvil, and piano on my head during my time of spying on Pinkie. I think that's when she was fired from the moving company and got a job delivering the mail. At least she's found something she's good at now.
But now, Rainbow's told me of a situation that happened this morning, and I just have a hard time believing it. In this town full of hicks and rednecks, I can't believe that Derpy was responsible for ALL the damage to town hall. Furthermore, on a day like that, how did Derpy get a hold of a storm cloud? It was a beautiful day out. Also, I'm surprised at the destructive capabilities of her ass. What's with the cutie mark, anyway? I admittedly do not understand the significance of the bubbles. Did she swallow laundry detergent? That...would actually explain a lot.
So this pony really hasn't done anything to deserve what I hear is coming. I've heard talks about getting together a pool fund to pay for corrective surgery on her eyes and vocal chords. How fucking insensitive can you get? That would change who she is, and above all, why? How do her eyes and voice affect anyone in the town?
What these stupid fucking degenerates are doing is essentially teaching their fillies that ponies who don't look or sound normal should hide these features or correct them. After all, why should we have to accept these ponies for who they are?
Oh, and Applejack went to some rodeo and didn't even win a single event. Kinda pathetic, if you ask me.
Your perfectly normal former student,
Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Celestia,
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Your loyal kumquat,
Pinkie 'Pickle Barrel' Pie