Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Bats!
Dear Vampire Bats,
That's right. You can have the entire orchard, just not her big apple. Because clearly the prize money from one hick contest can sustain the farm for an entire season.
Sincerely,
Big Mac
Dear diary,
Wait a minute, Twilight's spell backfired?
We are all very clearly shocked.
-Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie
Dear Rainbow Dash,
We're sending you to Ciderholics Anonymous. You have a problem.
-Twilight
Dear Applejack,
Are you kidding me? I mean, I know you're a farmer and everything, but you'd hurt a teensy, little, harmful vampire bat? Really? Why you're just a great big meanie! There, I said it!
-Fluttershybat
Dear Diary,
Hmm, this gives me an idea for a new book series. I'll take a reader poll to see who's on Team Applejack, and who's on Team Fluttershy. This will no doubt be as big as my Daring Do biographies novels.
-A.K. Yearling
Dear Royal Dawnguard,
Just west of Ponyville.
The cottage.
You're welcome.
-Applejack
-Fruit bat roundup fruit bat roundup
Let's finish our pest control cheer
Fruit bat roundup fruit bat roundup,
Flutterbat need stakes right here, she needs stakes right here!