Fall Weather Friends
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Fall Weather Friends
Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I was approached by Rainbow Dash and AJ to be the mediator of a competition between them, and I have to say, I am thrilled. They have both realized that I, as a unicorn, can successfully judge which of the two lesser races is greater. So they set up a series of events that will test their strengths in everything but magic. I found something rather interesting in their strength tests. Rainbow won the hoof wrestle, but Applejack won the hoofball punt. So Rainbow's front hooves are considerably stronger than her back hooves.
So, it's pretty obvious what she does in her bed at night.
I know that two weeks ago I was telling you about wrapping up that one day of winter, and apparently, in the last fourteen days, we've gone through Spring and Summer, and I believe I now know why the seasons are so abnormal here. It's because these ponies keep on manually fucking with the ecosystem. Yeah, manually changing the seasons has really fucked mother nature up. It doesn't know what to do anymore. This is exactly why Unicorns need to run everything everywhere. When you leave it to the lesser races, they screw everything up and decide to have a race to shake the leaves off of the trees.
Apparently Applejack was a little sore about Rainbow using her wings in the competition. Imagine that. As an earth pony farmer, she can use her natural strength in the contests, but she gets pissed when Rainbow starts flying around and shit. But as a southern inbred, I guess she just wants to be better than everypony at everything. So she challenged Rainbow to race her in this tree killing spree known as the Running of the Leaves. I had enough of everypony around here being uppity, so I entered the race too. I left Spike with Pinkie to do the announcing. Because, you know, I figured it'd be hilarious. When I came to the starting line, AJ was prepping Rainbow for a bondage session, and they were extremely skeptical about my ability to participate in an athletic event, and Rainbow guessed that I learned how to race from books. Please. Rainbow couldn't figure out how to read if I shoved a rolled newspaper up her ass. She'd probably enjoy it, too. Fucking lesbian.
Throughout the race, there were several instances where I felt Pinkie's commentary to be rather...disturbing. First off, she said that she puts ketchup on her hot dogs to make them nice and slippery. What the fucking hell? Pinkie eats meat? Isn't that a crime or something? She might be gender confused too, because I'm pretty sure I heard her say something about Applejack making HIS move when she and Rainbow were trying to pull ahead of each other. I'm not sure how Spike could take it.
But their honest competition didn't last, and it wasn't too long before they were one-upping each other in an effort to get ahead. The other racers were pretty pathetic, too. I mean, after Applejack or Rainbow would trip, the entire pack would pass them, and then like nothing, they'd run up to the front again. Their cheating got downright laughable, too. Apparently maple syrup has the adhesive properties of superglue, and Applejack didn't have the brains to figure out that maybe the Running of the Leaves didn't involve running up a treeless, rocky mountain, no matter what direction that stupid sign was pointing.
Pinkie and Spike noticed how embarrassingly far behind she was, they gave her an airlift to Rainbow, who was also pathetically behind. I also love how they thought they were trying for first. Did they not see EVERYPONY else at the finish line? I mean, damn, even I took fifth place, and I didn't even fucking try. I probably could have won too if I pushed a little more. And what the hell is this medal made out of, uranium? It's 5th place. Why the hell did I get a medal?
Your athletically challenged former student,
Twilight Sparkle
P.S. Fine, I didn't push at the end. I teleported myself in between 4th and 6th place. Is that what you wanted to hear? Sheesh.
Stats
Page generated in 0.037 seconds
Total duration
925 users online
350,027 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Hahahah. Brilliant as always. So damn funny.
inb4 FIRST
860068 Too late.
You know... why did she get a medal?
Haha, Twilight reading her erotic novels. "I was just getting to the good part!" Great job on this. Sooo funny.
All this letters just make me laugh
This is fucking brilliant
860096 Well it must be because she is the superior race, and by simply being in this lesser challenge, she deserves praise.
You got to do a chapter were Celestia recives these letters and how she reacts.
much better than your last two no offense
well actually ya offense to those last two chapters they sucked compared to the rest
860226 Thank you! Finally, somepony caught that.
860224 I have to be honest. I have NO clue what makes people tick regarding this series. I always end up finishing it up going "maybe they'll like it, maybe they won't."
Winter Wrap Up was a mixed bag. For every piece of negative feedback I got on it here, someone over on dA or FFnet absolutely loved it.
I'm glad you liked this one.
Funny series so far, but shouldn't you put an Alternate Universe tag? This is about as OC as Twilight Sparkle gets.
860265
Fanfiction. All fanon is AU because it's not canon, no matter how close it looks like the original. xD
I loved this chapter, keep it up
Fucking Lesbian
Tara Strong needs to make audio books of these in Twilight's voice.
I think there may be something right with you... er, wrong? Whatever. These are hilarious, please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
Prediction for Ponyville Confidential:
Dear Princess Celestia (aka Cake-Devouring Glutton),
Today I put up a force-field around my house to keep out ninja-reporters. I so wish I was making this up. Apparently, a SCHOOL NEWSPAPER is watching us more closely than the fucking royal guard. Gabby Gums (whom I found out was that trio of demons whose names I refuse to mention), reports every detail that could ever happen in this rathole of a town. I swear, not even babies are safe. I thought gossip columns were supposed to focus on celebrities!
Apparently, the only way to get the little bastards to see you in a positive light is to bribe them. At least, that's what Spike told me. He got them to do a column on how much of a fucking pimp he is. Fucking liars.
I think you should put the "Alternate Universe" tag on this story. Personally, I think Twilight is acting too OOC to not be it.
But it's your opinion.
Apart from that, this is so hilarious!
I'm just enjoying the different perspective these give on the same events. A more cynical view to be sure, but honestly much funnier.
This story is wonderful. Sociopath!Twilight is hugely entertaining. Looking forward to how you do Suited for Success.
I'd be more concerned about why pinkie wants her hot dogs to be nice and slippery lol
just started reading this.........................
I'm now in the hospital being diagnosed for possible insanity due to my hyena like laughter non stop for the past 30 minutes....
And my ribs may be broken...... where do i send the bill?
861634 READY NORMAL PEOPLE???
some stories try, and manage to keep the characters close to canon.
some stories try and fail to do the same.
this story has Twilight go so far out of character, she is about to leave orbit.
AND IT IS GLORIOUS!
861836
"Normal people" in caps? Alright then.
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_krxsmyqjC61qzu9hao1_250.gif
860244 lol just keep pleasing everyone by doing you hopscotch thing (as long as you dont take too long to get to our funny section)
Eh. The humor is way too straightforward and literal for my tastes, I can hardly call it a satire. Cute, but not a gutbuster. 4/5
860294
Technically true, but the tag is for when your purposefully writing your characters in an opposite (or at least fairly different) way than they are portrayed in the show for comedy, eroticism (technically all clopfics that aren't Shining/Cadence, Mr./Mrs. Cake, any other established couple), gore (I don't even need to type them), etc. It can also work for any story in which the Setting is different from canon in any way.
Why the heck did I type all of that.
I love racist Twilight. Keep up the good work.
863261 That would be because Rainbow's voice actress, Ashleigh Ball, is the lead singer in an indie rock band, Hey Ocean.
Why is Twilight insulting Rainbow for being gay when she herself was all ready to have a three-way with Applejack and Rarity?
863905 Mood swings or comedy fic. Pick one. ^_^
I originally started reading this at chapter 1 on fanfiction, and it has been consistently good and hilarious. Basically,
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6os6wSSHv1qjxxmh.gif
863693
Which is pretty much the norm, you rarely see people trying to limit themselves so much to make it sound like they're on the writing staff in comparison to people trying out new ideas, or a new spin on ideas that've been done. :V So most content turns out AU in that sense too, really. S'why I feel it's kind of... redundant, I suppose.
Yes! Now this was funny XD And the front hooves thing with RD
I did NOT see that coming! Oh god this chapter was great! Pfft, tree killing spree, Pinkie eating meat, I'm laughing like I did the first few chapters. 
And hey! Twilight called Fax Machine by his other name!
Is Twilight maybe becoming nicer at a much more excruciatingly slow rate? 
AAAAAALRIGHTYTHEN!!
These 'letters to Celestia' are just as funny and random as the episodes they are based after.
864861
It is redundent most of the time, especially with crossover stories.
868548 I cannot answer that. I am not actually racist, and my version of Twilight is such purely for comedy's sake.
Dear milesprower06,
Today I have re-learned over the course of thirteen disgruntled friendship letters why it is a bad idea to indulge in comedy while suffering from a cold. Laughing and coughing do not mix pleasantly.
Good stuff.
This is for you: media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5fb6t8X4g1qa9f3s.png
You'll get more when the next letter comes out.
860265
Hmm... I have to disagree with this.
While Twilight is OOC (hilariously so), everything that actually happens is canon.
Funniest chapter by far, though I find the absence of referring to Spike as 'fax machine' unsettling.
So... I'll be the first to point out the RvB reference: Twilight musing that her medal might be made of Uranium. 'twas suggested by Sarge that in order to liven up the winter Olympics, all athletes that come below third should receive enriched Uranium medals as punishment.
Snappy!
Best one
860553 Fuck the hell yes.
javascript:smilie('
');
All of my YES!!!
I think it's kind of ironic that she's calling everypony else she thinks is a lesbian with disdain when only a few 'letters' ago she tried to get Rarity, Applejack, and herself to get it on together.