Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Bats!
Dear Vampire Bats,
That's right. You can have the entire orchard, just not her big apple. Because clearly the prize money from one hick contest can sustain the farm for an entire season.
Sincerely,
Big Mac
Dear diary,
Wait a minute, Twilight's spell backfired?
We are all very clearly shocked.
-Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie
Dear Rainbow Dash,
We're sending you to Ciderholics Anonymous. You have a problem.
-Twilight
Dear Applejack,
Are you kidding me? I mean, I know you're a farmer and everything, but you'd hurt a teensy, little, harmful vampire bat? Really? Why you're just a great big meanie! There, I said it!
-Fluttershybat
Dear Diary,
Hmm, this gives me an idea for a new book series. I'll take a reader poll to see who's on Team Applejack, and who's on Team Fluttershy. This will no doubt be as big as my Daring Do biographies novels.
-A.K. Yearling
Dear Royal Dawnguard,
Just west of Ponyville.
The cottage.
You're welcome.
-Applejack
-Fruit bat roundup fruit bat roundup
Let's finish our pest control cheer
Fruit bat roundup fruit bat roundup,
Flutterbat need stakes right here, she needs stakes right here!
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run flutterbat run
To sum up the end of the episode in a nutshell...Suddenly Fanfiction!
I knew I shouldn't have made that left turn at Appleloosa.
The Dawnguard thanks you for your cooperation in our effort to keep Equestria safe from the Vampire fruit bat Menace.
STOP THE BATS STOP THE BATS MAKE THEM GO AND NOT COME BACK
Also, that makes me want to go play the Dawnguard DLC so that I get the reference completely.
3694574 There is nowhere she can run where she'll be safe. She'll be hunted down, courtesy of Applejack and the Apple Family.
YAYYYYYYYYYYYY
Fruit bat roundup.
I know what I'll be huming for the rest of the day.
This episode makes the fandom go batshit!
3694662
stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/2237293/knee-slapping-o.gif
3694580
It's too late. She's already infiltrated their ranks of vampire slayers!
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/045/b/4/fluttershy_the_vampony_slayer_by_scruffytoto-d39kedr.jpg
3694708 So she pulled a Serana?
3694745 ... Wait are we talking about ponies? Oh no this is Dawnguard Fruit bat Extermination services. You want the Van Hellsing organization next door.
For one who has not lived even a single lifetime, you're a wise mare, Van Sparkle.
If those fangs don't come into play at some point in the future, I am going to be disappointed.
Then again, the way they keep throwing these things in at the end of episodes, I wouldn't be at all surprised if all of them will play a part in the Season Finale when they open the box.
My reaction to this episode could be summed up in five points.
1. Twilight failing to deal with animals! Who (ahem) would (ahem) have (ahem) ever (ahem) guessed (ahem)?
2. How in Tartarus is it that skilled unicorns can create holographic projection images and change animal genetics to change their diet while earth ponies can change the genetic makeup of plants to make them enormous and yet no one is able to develop some sort of environmentally friendly pesticide?
3. Is it even remotely believable that Big MacIntosh has missed both beginnings of Applebuck Season that we've seen? I'm willing to bet that he decided to sleep in during the time with a certain purple Earth pony.
4. How is it that unicorn magic can produce light signals, yet whenever there's an emergency, no one ever seems to be able to access outside help? (No one can argue that only powerful unicorns can do it because we clearly see Rarity using the ability)
5. (Serious this time) Why is this episode not as exciting as it could have been. Granted the song and animation was nice, but really. You would think that such a concept as interesting as vamponies would have a better payoff.
So apparently Princess Twilight Sparkle forgot that she can use telekinesis to grab things in midair. Which would have been very useful in grabbing hold of a temporarily-crazed half-bat friend rather than making the farmpony sacrifice her current prize produce.
Dear Applejack,
So there were vampire-fruit bats in our orchard? I knew that already and I would have told you before I left.
But to see you go through all that trouble is what you get for walking in on me and Ms. Cheerilee that one night.
You know what I'm talking about.
Sincerely,
Big Macintosh
So, does Fluttershy gets to have bat form mode for some reason. I kinda doubt that, thought it would be surprising to see this show up in later episodes.
This is what happens when you let Discord out of his statue.
It was a mis-stake.
3694982
They did. Unfortunately, she turned out a bit too environment-friendly. And now she even joined the other side. Back to the drawing board.
3694580 Next day
THE FOAL FREE PRESS
DAWNGUARD TROOPS FOUND SLAUGHTERED
Early this morning the bodies of eleven ponies and one griffon was found just at the edge of the Everfree forest around what looked like a camp site, these bodies were soon discovered to be members of the so-called vampire slaying group Dawnguard, the group has been implemented in several murders of innocents across and outside of Equestra, as well as being rumored to house were-beasts and trolls, as for the bodies that were found it has been concluded by officials that they were all killed in a random animal attack, markings on there bodies strangely seemed to indicate Bears, Manticores, and the dreaded Killer Rabbit were part of this attack, we asked Fluttershy local animal expert and owner of the only known Killer Rabbit in the area named "Angel" what her thought's on the attack was, and she was quoted saying "It's very likely that the smell of any meat products the griffon might of had attracted the predators to them", when asked about the Killer Rabbit Fluttershy denied any involvement Angel might of had in the attack stating that he had been with her the whole night, it can be assumed that the lack of any type of inn in Ponyville as well as the Dawnguard's members incompetence is what lead to this tragedy. (fixed the Angle typo)
-Everyone who watched the episode.
3694850 Yeah I only hope that they are not going to find keys in two last episodes of season finale or some other extremely rushed stuff.
3694850
Almost positive that the dramatic zoom is going to be the season joke. We've got the shadow, the book, Scootaloo's butt, the comic, and now Fluttershy's tooth.
3695304 Once again we were just a pest control company, We were in over our heads. It was only supposed to be fruit bats.
3695009 You forget that Applejack is but a lowly earth pony and the freakishly large apple was clearly the work of magic and not hard work and effort. Twilight needed to teach her not only a lesson in not cheating to win a contest, but that the Unicorn / Alicorn overlords will not tolerate magic for the benefit of the lower races' pride.
I lost it at the Dawnguard part.
3695569 To Dawnguard
...Oops
From Applejack
------------------
To Applejack
We have checked out your claim of Vamponie's in your town and have found no evidence to support your claim and other then the recent animal attack have found nothing suspicious going on in town other then a Vampire fruit bat and a regular fruit bat infestation in your orchard's, we are hunters of dangerous supernatural beings not a pest control company, if you need help with getting rid of pests in your orchard's then we suggest calling on the Dawnguard pest control company next door, on that note we would like to warn against going into the nearby forest as we have some evidence to believe that there is some sort of powerful dark sprit hiding with in it.
From the Van Hellsing organization
3695304 *Angel gets up the next morning, as he walks past the other animals in Fluttershy's cottage* "Mornig Angle"... "Morning Angle"... "Morning Angle"...
3695009 Twilight may be powerful but she can only do one spell at a time, she couldn't hold Fluttershy and cure her at the same time, hence the distraction.
3694982 On point 4, I think Rarity is fairly powerful, she's no Twilight, but she can levitate many things at once. She's clearly above average for a unicorn.
3696401 I didn't even notice i did that
3696646 No, merely coincidence.
I have not seen, nor intentionally reference Mentally Advanced.
3696401
Boast Busters anyone? I'm pretty sure she was multi-casting three or four spells at the same time.
3696531 Hehe, well it gave me a great opportunity to reference Hot Fuzz.
3696675 I don't think so, that was just a sequence of spells. There was the wind spell, then a whole heap of levitation, that was about it really. Super powerful levitation yes, but that's about it.
3695035 Dear Big Mac,
Don't think you can just threaten me like. I've walked in on much worse, and YOU know what I'M talking about.
Fyi I saw you sneak an apple fritter during the last reunion, so fairs fair.
But if you really think you've got me in a pickle, by all means feel free to come down to the orchard tonight. We'll see who gets the last laugh.
Sincerely,
Applejack
Why would the Dawnguard be interested in Fluttershy? She's clearly far more suited for a position in the Night Guard.
3697237 Missed the reference.
3697355 It most certainly was a miss-stake.
... Wow, that was a bad pun.
3697355
Not missed, ignored.
3696914
Dear Applejack,
Believe me, I want so much to take you up on that challenge of yours.
But I'm afraid I've already got an appointment for tonight. Ms. Cheerilee needs me to "help grade some tests."
Why don't you go and have a nice date with your coltfriend? Oh that's right, you don't have one.
Sincerely,
Big Macintosh
3697355 I GOT IT MILES!
3695650 that sounds really racist
3698538
that's the joke
letters twilight is racists
3697426 Applejack told the Dawnguard where the vampire fluttershy was so they can kill her. In Skyrim the Dawnguard kills vampires.
Skyrim reference FTW
That "twilight" reference was offset by the Skyrim reference.
~Skeeter The Lurker
While I hate Twilight (the book and movie[with their sequels] not the Pony) with a passion, I vote Team Flutterbat
Dear Vigilants of Celestus,
I suspect that the Apple Family are Daedra worshipers.
The earth pony known as Applejack has grown an unnaturally large apple in her orchard.
This is impossible without the direct interference of a Daedric Lord.
-Sincerely, A Concerned citizen.