Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Marks and Recreation

Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.

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Dear CMC,

Apologies about Rumble. I was getting tired of teaching Trixie, so I decided to teach somepony else. The problem was that I may have accidentally taught him my old philosophies by mistake. Again. I'm sorry.

Your friend,
Starlight Glimmer

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Dear Zecora,

Could we spend time together again brewing potions?

Sincerely,
Apple Bloom

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Dear Apple Bloom,

Sure. I don't see why not.
It has been a while since you were last taught.
We can brew many potions of all kinds.
Plus, it allows me to have more screen time.

Your brewing teacher,
Zecora

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Dear Diary,

Do colts try to hit on you by ruining all your own hard work trying to help other ponies?

I'll never understand boys...

-Scootaloo

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Dear Rumble,

Trust me when I say that staying a blank flank isn't such a bright idea. Next thing you know, you're being dressed in dumb outfits by your older sibling. Even diapers. Bucking diapers!

Your friend,
Sweetie Belle

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Dear Diamond Tiara,

We know that you're no longer a bully and all, but could you start insulting Rumble about his blank flank? That might get him to stop ruining our camp.

-CMC

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Dear CMC,

Sure, anything for a few seconds of screen time.

Pretty sure I haven't uttered a word since you got your marks.

Wierd.

Sincerely,
Diamond Tiara

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Dear Thunderlane,

You had better punish that colt for ruining my little sister’s day camp.

Your fellow subordinate,
Rainbow “Crash” Dash

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Dear Rainbow “Crash” Dash,

Don’t worry. I’ve got just the thing in mind. I’ve got the perfect nickname for him once he joins the Wonderbolts. Sergeant Blank Flank!

Your fellow subordinate,
Thunderlane

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Dear Cutie Mark Day Campers,

So that was a pretty awesome song.

But please tell me, HOW THE FUCK WERE ALL OF YOU SNAPPING?

Sincerely,
Lyra Heartstrings

Author's Note:

Comments

[Vigriff]

I actually found Rumble's Anti-Cutie Mark spiel far better than Starlight's

[milesprower06]

8783372
Both came bundled with a catchy song!

[Vigriff]

8783373
Actually I like his spiel because there were some merits it, unlike that raving lunatic Starlight.

[TheApexSovereign]

I'm actually looking at the coverart for the first time and I burst out laughing seeing Starlight's angry face sticking out of the party cannon
8783377
Both had merits and both were absolutely wrong.

[milesprower06]

8783453
When Sollace first made that, I couldn't breathe. I had to get up and get away from the screen I was laughing so hard.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Dear Scootaloo,

Give him time. In a few years, he won't even be able to say words around you. That's when you can get your revenge.

Your Princess of Love,
Cadence

[SuperPinkBrony12]

8783373 I KNEW I wasn't the only one who drew similarities between Rumble and Starlight. Heck, my comment on the upload of "Blank Flanks Forever" was, and I quote: "Congratulations, Rumble. You're the new Starlight Glimmer."

[Colonel Jenna Cipher]

No Parks And Recreation references? In the chapter about the episode whose title parodies it?

For shame, mon capitaine, for shame.

Stil a good chapter though, looking forward to next one.

[howard035]

8783502 Cadance teaches a valuable lesson that "it's not what's on the outside of the flank that matters, it's what's on the inside."

[Neko Majin C]

My dearest Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle,

I know this sounds like a crazy question, but do you know what happened to my superpowers? Also missing are my spots and branches. I do not remember much except that I was electrocuted/stung by hundreds of thousands of bees that seemed to be fans of the Michigan Wolverines. Their hive somehow magically materialized in my leanto. I am not sure exactly how many bees stung me, because I passed out from the pain after the first four score. When I came to, the bees were dead, the hive was stomped, and there was honey dripping out of my mouth. It was also like six days later, apparently. All I know is that something happened in those six days that caused me to lose my superpowers. I have to apologize for once again being completely useless to you. Powerless, missing, all I can do is promise I will try to do my best to make up for my incompetence.

Signed your loyal slave who is sill covered in hundreds of bee stings,
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO.

[Coyotek4]

Now that we have a Rumble, any chance we can get a Frenzy too?