Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

Rarity Investigates

Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Rarity Investigates

---

Frank,

I'd like to be kept on the Canterlot Market delivery route, I'm about to hit the jackpot. I figure if I offer to "correct" Rarity's orders enough times, I'll probably be able to bone her for my time.

---

Dear Rainbow Dash,

So because I worked so hard to keep you in the Wonderbolts, I'd say we're finally even for that time we kidnapped you and put you in my basement 30 days before you were accepted, right?

Sincerely,
Rarity

---

Dear Princess Celestia,

Since my relinquishing of my Captaincy, I've really started to hear some strange stories about the direction Canterlot's Royal Guard is heading in.

Are you seriously letting them choose the color of their plumes now?

Sheesh. I really was holding that outfit together, wasn't I?

Sincerely,
Shining Armor

Author's Note:

Yeah, so I've fallen a week behind here, and no idea if I'll catch up this week.

Also, don't expect a Friendship Games letter until I get the uncut version on Blu-ray.

Comments

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Rarity,

The 1940s called. They want their style back.

Sincerely,
Sherlock Holmes

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Twilight,

Still waiting for your reply....

Sincerely,
Moondancer

[Sollace]

Hm...

Who wrote the first one to Frank, the one that's boning Rarity?

--Sollace

[milesprower06]

6466521 Couldn't come up with a name for the delivery pony. His supervisor is Frank, lol

[Sollace]

6466534
Oh, right.

I forgot about that part.

Maybe just call him Jack, the Parcel Pony?

--Sollace

[ShadowLDrago]

Also, don't expect a Friendship Games letter until I get the uncut version on Blu-ray.

Same, or at least until I can find an uncut version online for free. I'm cheap like that. Also, was I the only person reminded of a certain fuck mothering vampire by Rarity's hat?

[ServerBrony]

6466550 Something like....this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzbNpXRMrRQ

[ShadowLDrago]

6466596

You are correct sir! And for proving my theory that adding ponies to almost anything can make it infinitely funnier, you get a dragon with a mustache.

[Blitz the Dragon]

Ahahahaha that gif.

[articunos bitch]

Since my relinquishing of my Captaincy, I've really started to hear some strange stories about the direction Canterlot's Royal Guard is heading in.
Are you seriously letting them choose the color of their plumes now?

Yup. The whole Guard is falling apart at the seams.

[Aariadon]

Supposedly the only thing cut in Friendship Games was the credits. So you wouldn't be missing anything by seeing it now.

[Edit: Also an unimportant 30 second scene is cut. BUT that's only in the US version. CA aired the full thing.]

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Princess Celestia,
Since my relinquishing of my Captaincy, I've really started to hear some strange stories about the direction Canterlot's Royal Guard is heading in.
Are you seriously letting them choose the color of their plumes now?
Sheesh. I really was holding that outfit together, wasn't I?
Sincerely,
Shining Armor

Oh yes, under your supervision, the royal guard couldn't save Princess Celestia from Nightmare Moon, failed to find the princess' missing pet bird, allowed Twilight to sneak around the castle grounds at night, and got captured by a bunch of changelings because you were under the love spell of their queen. Yeah, the guards are definitely getting worse now that you're no longer around.

[Spartan-Guy 88]

"Innocent until proven guilty? Never heard of it."
The Wonderbolts

[Moonlit Path]

So because I worked so hard to keep you in the Wonderbolts, I'd say we're finally even for that time we kidnapped you and put you in my basement 30 days before you were accepted, right?

http://www.fimfiction.net/story/134240/mistress-do-well

[Smitty91]

Tue uncut version? What's the difference?

[Darthdarius117]

No jokes about Cole Phelps? Okay then.

[Phazon]

6466861
"What are you, the fashion police?"
Cole Phelps. Fashion.

[milesprower06]

6466771 That's nice. It's not for everyone. Scram.

[milesprower06]

6466707 [/shotsfired]

[GIGA-XISBASS]

6466707 You realize they wouldn't be a match for an alicorn at full power right? Plus She came out of nowhere before the guard were able to act if Celestia was trapped in the sun during that time. That bird is a troublemaker remember? Celestia said so herself so I doubt they could handle capturing a phoenix that likes to cause trouble for humor. Twilight has unlimited access to the castle being Celestia's student apparently. Why would they even capture her? She was the one who forgot about that detail that and that one guard let her into the Starswirl Wing. If it was anyone else I'm sure they'd be arrested for trespassing. As for Chrysalis, we're talking about a shapeshifter who prior to everything kidnapped Cadence, trapped her in the Crystal Mines and then impersonated her for the remainder of the Wedding til Twilight noticed something was off about her. She managed to fool everyone including Celestia under what I assume was a bride thing before the wedding so everypony must have thought she was going through what every bride goes through. A perfect cover.

[Tatsurou]

6466707
Also, you're assuming they weren't under direct orders with the missing bird and Twilight sneaking around.

[MixMassBasher]

6466861
Dear Wonderbolts Academy,

I Doubt your superiority these days. I hate to Lie but the the Royal Guard are much more superior in comparison since they don't let the innocent be considered guilty until the Truth comes to light.

Sincerely,
Cole Phelps

[Neko Majin C]

Dear Wind Rider,

You got sloppy. All you had to do was get Rainbow Dolt kicked out of the Wonderbolts. Who knew Rarity was so smart? Apparently there is more to her than a so-so meh body.

How was it that you got mistaken for a mare? How did you get a chunk of Rainbow Dash's mane?
i.imgur.com/9jvPEye.gif
Oh... okay.

Unfortunately, you failed in your mission to join Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's stable. You will be summarily eradicated. There is no room in the Mistress' harem for a failure who is not a hot mare. Those spots are filled by Fax Machine and I.

Signed Mistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave and favorite failure,
Neko Majin C.

---

---

---

~KBO.

[MixMassBasher]

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Your gonna need a good lawyer.

Sincerely,
Phoenix Wright

[Phazon]

6468983
Settle down, Phoenix. It's not like she killed anypony.

[milesprower06]

6469149 All yours.

[pootdispencer]

Dear milesprower06,

Did it seriously take you a week to figure out something that would take you 5 - 10 minutes to type?

sincerely,
A impatient pootdispencer

[milesprower06]

6469349 Um, no. I've been busy with work and haven't had motivation.

[ShiningNova]

6466780 I thought that was a Kaidan reference

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

Also, don't expect a Friendship Games letter until I get the uncut version on Blu-ray.

Well somebody's a goody four-shoes

[kooarbiter]

this epidose might be more memorable if we didn't have 3 rarity eps in a row and my friend never shut up during the stream (to be fair, I didn't shut up either, but because he kept making conversation)

[MixMassBasher]

To the Royal Guard:

Who ate cake and DIDN'T share.

-Molestia

[fractalman]

6467461 To be fair, letting Twilight run around the castle grounds was what they did right

[Streakofscarlet]

Dear Wind Rider,

Why does our sister insist on calling you 'Ace Swift'?

-Adagio Dazzle and Aria Blaze