Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student

by milesprower06

A Rockhoof and a Hard Place

Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.

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To Yona,

Girl! We shall travel to the highest peaks of Equestria and forge new stories!

-Rockhoof

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Yes sir.

-Yona

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Dear Starlight,

Can't you just make another time travel spell to bring Rockhoof back to the past?

Your Headmistress,
Twilight Sparkle

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Dear Twilight,

Sorry. Those type of deus ex machina solutions are reserved for season finales only.

Your guidance counselor,
Starlight Glimmer

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Dear Rockhoof,

Ve need another veplacement for our staff, besides yourself, because you broke our stallion stud.

Signed,
Aloe und Lotus

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Dear Vacuum Cleaner,

So, how's the fire breathing competition going with Smolder? I need a larger fire from you if I want to get myself a new and improved oven.

Your Headmistress,
Twilight Sparkle

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Dear Rockhoof,

If you want to stay hard for a rather long time, I've got just what you need.

Please meet me in my quarters tonight.

Sincerely,
Headmistress Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Bring Gallus. He doesn't have enough homework? I'll give him all the homework he can handle.

Author's Note:

Comments

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Dear Twilight,

Any chance you could use that petrification spell on Mudbriar? I think he'd look better as a rock.

Maud Pie

Dear Twilight,

Technically, I do not normally wish to comment on private matters. But when it comes to the subject of literally being turned to stone, I wish to object. I am more of a stick pony.

Sincerely,
a technically terrified Mudbriar

[CassandraMyOCisBestpony]

9711565
Dear Maud,

My initial response was “hell no,” but after reading his letter, I have been convinced that turning him to stone would be a favor to ponykind. Meet me at the school this afternoon.

-Twilight

[FanOfMostEverything]

Dear General Seaspray,

You can turn into seaponies. Why do you even have a navy?

Your former comrade in arms,
Rockhoof

Dear Rockhoof,

Why do you have a sailor suit?

Gen. Seaspray

[Streakofscarlet]

I like how Applejack's faces can double as both mesmerized and smug.

[Neko Majin C]

Dear Yona,

You are quickly becoming the least useless and least annoying of the six students which I see the most. Why does it seem like the School of Friendship only has you six as students? Did everyone else quit? It is like all the other students disappeared into the background. If you are the only six students left, that would explain why the teachers, Starlight, and Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle, are rarely ever at the school. Aside from when it is for comedic effect or relvent to the plot. Her soft, yet firm and supple plot... Mmmm... But I digress. If you continue to prove yourself less useless and less annoying than he rest of your friends you just might earn the superlative of best girl. Which will not be too hard, since, once again, the School only has six students. Plus, only four of you are girls, so it should be even easier.

Signed Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's loyal slave who has not been secretly observing the school and the students through Mistress Headmistress Princess Twilight Sparkle's telescope,
Neko Majin C.

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~KBO.