Twilight Sparkle is being sent to Ponyville to learn about friendship. She's not happy about it.
Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06
Hiatus Bonus Chapter
THE FOAL FREE PRESS
EXCLUSIVE! DISCORD EXPLAINS IT ALL!
Good day to you, Equestria. Discord, Master of all things chaos at your service. I understand that some ponies have been wanting to better understand what it is that I do here in Canterlot ever since my reforming. I will also be taking this time to squash some of the more common and annoying rumors about what it is that I do here. So away we go!
The most common rumor of my reforming is that Celestia was beginning to get bored, and wanted some more interesting action in the sack. I can tell you with 100% certainty that this is simply not the case. As historians may recall, I was turned to stone for a reason. The most common false theory was because of all the chaos I was causing around Equestria. You know, ponies howling at the moon, and sleeping in the middle of a summer afternoon, and all that. Not true. After getting permission from the Foal Free Press to cast a spell on this article to make it invisible to Celestia's eyes, I can now come forward with the truth.
I was stoned because I cheated on Celestia. Why? Because she's not that great in bed. Yes, it's true. You heard it here. The Princess that raises your sun every morning and sets it every evening is actually a pretty pathetic lover. Every so often she finds somepony who is equally hopeless in sexual endeavors and selects them as a student; perhaps to show the young filly or colt that you can really suck at the bow-chika-bow-wow and still grow up to be the ruler of a nation. Well, she can fool herself all she wants in her little fantasy world, but sex is where it's at. So one night, I went over to her sister's room. Let me tell you; Luna has got it going on.
As the Princess of the Night, Luna has access to some seriously steamy stuff. I believe she recently tried to break into the pornography industry using Twilight Sparkle's cream dreams. But ever since she became an alicorn, Twilght has installed DRM on her sexual fantasies, so they are essentially useless to Luna. But that long oh-so-long ago. She was just so good...I mean she made my goat leg go numb. Apparently we were so loud that Celestia came to investigate. Let's just say that I stayed hard for the better part of a millennium. So she puts me in the castle courtyard, and flings Luna to the moon. I was insanely jealous of the moon. It was gonna be getting some for the next thousand years. Some wonder how she turned me to stone. No, it wasn't a spell of hers or the Elements of Harmony. She tied me down to the bed and fucked me with a cockatrice.
So how did we come to amicable terms upon my reforming? I clearly stated that we were over, and that I would continue to see Luna, and I highly suggested that she take tips from her younger sister, so that she can one day make an unwilling pony very awkward and uncomfortable. Other than that, I haven't really done anything significant yet. I think Celestia's still a bit mad. All I can do is bide my time and rail the sexiest mare in Equestria while I wait.
I hope this provided a good look into just how funny life here at the castle can be.
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Ah ha so Discord is in love with Luna, well that's intresting.
I thought it will explain how this Equestria is so messed up... It's so Crapsacharrine!
Tv Tropes.
Seriously. The Gala chapter could be Twilight having hallucinations. And stuff that happens afterwards could be remaining Discord Influence so now...yeah. It is simply a Crapsaccharine world.
You know...I rather didn't see this coming, but I guess with access to every sexual fantasy and wet dream in the kingdom, Luna would be a fucking cougar...
Kinda makes you wonder if she is the cause of some wet dreams....
Wait, that's actually a pretty common thing amongst animal species. We humans call it a siesta, and I believe helps get a animal through the hottest part of the day during the summer. Hell, canon Rainbow Dash does it all the time.
Twilight's DRM and cheating on Celestia. So that's why Celestia made Twilight an alicorn. Revenge on Luna.
I believe I saw The weaver draw a comic on this very subject a while back
DisLuna? Well that's new, and not at all unwelcome.
2297499 You missed the reference. It's a shout-out to one of the most popular Brony -made songs.
2297499 It's a line from this song:
I like how the theme and the number of this chapter coincide...
When Twilight reads this:
"Stupid sexy Luna…"
lol, so that's how it happened
IT ALL MAKES SENCE NOW!
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3851-1332283623948.gif
My sides will never recover from this.
...That explains a lot, actually.
That's it. Twilight IS evil!
You, sir, are a genius.
Before Reading: Oh no, Discord.
After Reading:dc498.4shared.com/img/3eMOY0Z3/s3/I_understand_everything.gif
Good show, jolly good show.
2297829 I thought it was "Lunaughty".
2297871 Only now you realise this? Oh well FOR THE DARK EMPRESS! no not nightmare moon...though if what discord said is true she might be a nightmare in bed and not i nthe good way... hopfuly she doesnt do human.
2298050 And yet people are asking me for a clop offshoot of the library noises in Bonus Chapter 1.
2298064 Some people get off on it, some people/ponies might feel better for themselves becuse of it. that or they jsut want to laugh at all the screaming of terror they will all be going through. More than likly they have mentaly supressed that int othe back of their minds...if they wish to stay sane. (or in pinkies case keep stable enoguh to sell drugs.)
Heh, chapter 69.
2298185 Hugged without consent.
2297690 no shit! it explains SO damned much that parts of the TV series now makes sense where they didn't before.
I always figured that what tia told Equestria wasn't what happened with either Discord OR her sister but DAMN hadn't thought it had anything to her inability to keep a guy interested long enough for a two second fling
hey Luna, since Discord's off limits for now I'm pretty sure you'll find me more than willing
processing ... processing ...
Head-Cannon Accepted!
2298064 and most likely people will continue to ask, lol *hint hint* XD
hehe, chapter 69
2297527 great song but i prefer this version.
2294360
Well I knew that the story was finished as long as there was no new episodes, that was all I was commenting on really.
2298195
SCOOTALOO IS NOT USED TO LOVE.
On a more serious note this chapter was brilliant. This is what I missed from your letters, Miles, stuff that's so unbelievably ridiculous and yet, and yet, explains so much that the show doesn't, so much that you can't help but suspect it might be the real reason. Not just stupid meta jokes and references but genuinely clever interpretations.
Discord gets all the mares.
2297527
I do wonder why in the world you'd link Tombstone's version. It's like me linking Avantasia's cover of Lay All Your Love on Me if we were talking about ABBA.
2298671 It was the first one to pop up when I searched.
I still prefer to think that even though Twilight is a princess now, she still can't get any. Those moans in the library was a hallucination spell she had to cast on herself.
brilliant as always
Those poor Ponyvillians, subject to Twilight while Discord and Luna are getting it on...
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>She tied me down to the bed and fucked me with a cockatrice.
My fucking sides
PERFECTION
This is chapter 69. How convenient
This is the only good bonus chapter. If you're going to make bonus chapters, make them good like this.
2300468 Hmm, then I must be imagining all the praising comments from previous bonus chapters, if this is indeed the only one.
2300521
Don't worry. Accepting that you have delusions is the first step to recovery. Now, repeat after me.
"I do not have any fans. I do not have over twenty three hundred likes. People do not like my writing."
Remember, only with your cooperation can you be healed.
I'm pretty sure we all already knew Luna was a terrific lay.
2300769 Ohhh no. You're not dragging me to one of those Bad Writers Anonymous things. I can stop sucking anytime I want!
What an appropriate 69th chapter.
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2297199 You're extremely welcome, my fine fetlocked friend
DiscordXCockatrice OTP